Bring Me To Life
by Isabella Monroe
Summary: AU -Tyce Dumant,the Highever Castle healer, comes across a 21 year old Anders who has recently escaped the tower. Tyce offers Anders a safe haven. Anders spends the next year with the Couslands and for the first time ever discovers the meaning of family, loyalty and love. This story will follow Willa Cousland and Anders through pre-DAO, DAO, DAA and DAII.
1. Chapter 1 Bring Me To Life

**This story is an AU. It will follow Willa Cousland and Anders through pre-DAO, DAO, DAA and DAII. It will definitely not be a retelling of those games, but the games will be the background for the storyline. I hope you will enjoy Willa and Anders story.  
**

**Prologue - Bring Me To Life**

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up (Wake me up inside) I can't wake up (Wake me up inside)

Save me (Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up (Bid my blood to run) I can't wake up (Before I come undone)

Save me (Save me from the nothing I've become)

Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life"

_Bring Me To Life by Evanescence_

Anders had never considered himself a lucky person; quite the opposite actually - if it weren't for bad luck he wouldn't have any luck at all. You had to be a seriously unfortunate individual to be born with magic coursing through your veins. Although, unlike some of his fellow mages, he never thought of magic as a curse. He had always believed that was rubbish passed on by the Chantry to justify ripping families apart and locking up individuals who were more powerful and therefore feared. However, being born with magical abilities did make for a hard, rough and at times a oppressive life.

Anders had been torn away from his family when he was twelve. On good days he would say that was twelve wonderful years that he had with a mother who had loved him and who had cried for him when the templars dragged him away. On bad days, which were more prevalent than the good ones, he wished he had been removed from his home at a much younger age so that the memories of being loved and cared for weren't so strong and vibrant and that the sense of freedom that had been lost when he had been taken didn't course so strongly through his veins.

It was that loss of freedom that he had driven him to attempt to escape the tower only eight months after he had been brought to the Ferelden Circle. He had only been free for twenty four hours before the Templars dragged him back, but those few precious hours of independence only further fueled his desire to escape the prison that he had been forced to return to. His next escape had been better planned and it had taken the Templars six months to track him down. This time he had returned to the Circle a little more bruised and bloody, but those six months of freedom had been worth the asskicking he had received. Over the next nine years he had made six more escapes. Each time the Templars brought him back they vowed to teach him a lesson through harsher punishments and each time it only strengthened his resolve to be free.

It was on this last escape that he considered the possibility that maybe his luck might actually be changing. He had made his way to Highever. He had heard rumors that the Teryn there was a fair, just man and that he did more than tolerate magic that he actually had a mage in his employ. Anders found it difficult to believe that the Chantry would willingly allow one of their mages to live outside the Circle. He didn't care how powerful or influential that man was he couldn't fathom the Chantry giving up one of their own and he would have never believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes.

Anders had been truly shocked by what he had discovered. By all accounts Tyce Dumant, the Highever healer, was a free mage. The Circle sent a Templar from the local Chantry several times a month to check up on Tyce, but for the most part he was free to come and go as he pleased because he was such an adapt healer, he had earned the respect of the people of Highever, and he was loyal and devoted to the Couslands who treated him as a beloved member of the family. Anders had never expected to find a nobleman so readily accept one mage let alone two of them.

For once Lady Fortune smiled on him the day that Tyce had discovered Anders sleeping in one of the Cousland's outlying hunting lodges. The enchanter had immediately sensed the magic in Anders and knew that he was an apostate. At the very least Tyce could have kicked him out, telling him to never come back or worst case turned him over to the Chantry, but the mage did neither. Instead, he risked everything by offering Anders sanctuary...a safe haven.

As luck would have it when Anders arrived in Highever a plague had begun to breakout through the terynship. It was a horrific disease that was wiping entire villages before a healer could even arrive. The scope of the situation was really more than one mage could handle on his own. Anders arriving at the start of the epidemic provided a perfectly logical reason for the sudden appearance of another mage and because the Couslands accepted his presence, no one, not even the Chantry Templar, questioned his arrival.

As warm, welcoming and accepting as everyone had been since he had arrived, Anders knew his phylactery would eventually draw the templars to Highever, but he knew he would be long gone before they arrived. He would not allow the corrupt, oppressive Circle to bring any harm to the man that had sheltered him, mentored him and treated him like family nor would he allow the Circle to punish the family that had so readily accepted and welcomed him. However, the plague would give him additional time before he had to move on. No Templar would willingly set foot in Highever while an active pandemic was taking place.

Despite the overabundance of the sick and dying, Anders found that he really liked Highever - with its lush, green fields, the sweet aroma of Highever Jasmine in the air and lasses so succulent he could nibble on them for hours. He honestly never wanted to leave. It was like paradise here. He had only been at the Castle for two months, but he had already managed to bed two chambermaids and the baker's daughter. Tyce warned him that although the Highever ladies were prettier, their father's were meaner and if he wasn't careful he might wake up one morning to discover his third leg missing. Anders chuckled and promised to be more discreet in the future. That vow lasted one day because the following morning Lady Wilhelmina Cousland rode into the courtyard after spending the summer in Amaranthine accompanied by her brother, his wife and son and the Arl of Amaranthine's son, Nathaniel Howe.

Anders stood dumbfounded in the shadows of the castle as he watched her tall, yet curvaceous frame dismount her horse then elegantly glided across the courtyard as her dark, red mahogany tresses flowed behind her. She was the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on.

"Pup!" Bryce Cousland bellowed.

Lady Cousland's piercing green eyes danced with delight as she watched her father rush down the stairs toward her. The sweetest laugh he had ever heard escaped her lips as her father swept her into his arms to spin her around.

"D-dad, it's good to see you too..." she choked out as she patted his back. "B-but I can't breath."

The Teryn released her then kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry I just got carried away. Three months is way too long, Willa."

"Lad, you have better chance of seducing Andraste then you do of bedding Lady Willa and you will stand a better chance of surviving the Maker's wrath for attempting such feat then facing the ire of Bryce Cousland for trying to seduce his most prized possession," Tyce voice chuckled from behind him.

"How can you say that? The Lady has yet to even meet me. You never know, she may find my rugged good looks irresistible and we both know the Teryn finds me charming and funny."

"He won't see the humor in you trying to charm your way into his daughter's smalls. You have all the women and probably a lot of the men in Highever to seduce. Lady Willa is off limits. Do you understand me, Anders?" Tyce warned, all humor now gone from his voice.

He turned to looked at his mentor and saw the serious look in the mage's eyes that flickered with both alarm and fear. Anders could understand the man's distress. A mage involved with the daughter of the second highest ranking noble in all of Ferelden would bring disgrace to both the title and the family. Not to mention that since Anders was only here under Tyce's protection pursuing the Teryn's daughter could jeopardize everything that Tyce had been working for.

"I understand," Anders conceded.

"Good. Now I need your assistance with a family in the village that has fallen to the plague."

Anders nodded has watched Willa Cousland disappear into the sanctuary of the castle.

Remaining true to his word, over the next month Anders watched Willa from a distance completely enthralled with the young, vivacious girl. Yes, she was beautiful, but as he watched her interactions with others he was drawn to her kind heart, her wicked sense of humor and her mischievous spirit, even her fiery temper enticed him. It was as if her very presence had awoken something deep inside him, something he didn't even know was there and inexplicably it was drawing him to her. He was finding it increasingly more difficult to stay away from her. He made excuses throughout the day to seek her out just so that he could watch her from the shadows, but because of his vow to Tyce he never approached her. Although he was finding it harder and harder not approach her. He wanted...no he needed to get to know her. His attraction to her only grew stronger with each passing day. It was maddening and it kept him awake at night.

It was on one such night he thought about how fiercely she had battled in the sparring ring earlier that day against one of the Castle's squires. She was quick, agile and had a tactical mind. However, the squire's strength eventually defeated her speed, but Anders knew with more time and training she would become a deadly opponent. He had relished in the way her eyes had danced as she calculated her next move, and he had laughed at the dirty innuendos she had so casually let roll off her tongue to distraction to her opponent. However, it was in the moment of her defeated as she resigned the fight to the squire, and a slew of curse words had flown out her mouth that would have made a pirate proud that Anders knew that he had to do whatever it took to meet her.

However, he promised himself that he wouldn't sleep with her, that he just wanted to get to know her, that he just wanted to be friends with her...nothing more...just friends. What was the harm in that? Even though she was beautiful, enticing, such a sweet temptation and he knew it would be hard not to want more, not to push for more, he vowed to remain true to promise to Tyce. He would not seduce the alluring Lady Cousland, he would find the strength to just be her friend. He maybe playing with fire, but he was expert at manipulating flames and he would make sure that neither one of them got burned.


	2. Chapter 2 - What the Hell?

**Chapter 1 – What the Hell?**

"All my life I've been good but now I'm thinking "What the hell? "

All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about

If you love me, if you hate me, you can't save me, baby, baby

All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"

_What the Hell by Avril Lavigne_

Willa brought up the short sword just in time to stop the blow from her brother's sword. The clashing of the weapons rang out loudly throughout the courtyard as Willa leaned over the blades and smirked, "I do believe that all that Antivian wine and women has made you soft Brother or maybe you just aren't as good as I thought you were. I was only thirteen when you left for Antiva."

Fergus laughed as she pushed off him and backed up a step. "Oh my, I see that in my absence with no one to keep you in check that you're as cocky as ever."

"It isn't being cocky, if you have the skill to back it up," Willa growled as she suddenly thrust forward. Fergus blocked the blow, but barely, and she thrust again and again as she drove him across the yard.

Fergus grinned at her, his eyes dancing with delight as he took a step back, and a side step, until they were moving rapidly in a vicious circle of hard blow after hard blow; their swords rang out after each hit and sweat ran down her face and burned her eyes. Her arms ached and she was reaching her physical limit, but she was not going to back down from this fight. This was too much fun not to mention she wasn't about to give her brother the satisfaction or the boasting rights. So they continued the dance… swing, block, attack, parry, the sound of steel clashing over and over again.

Fergus shifted his weight to his back leg as he bent down and swung his sword low towards her knees. She jumped over the blade, twisted around and delivered a hard blow to his back with the pommel of her dagger. Fergus stumbled forward, but remained on his feet and quickly spun towards her.

"That's going to leave a mark. The wife isn't going to be pleased when she sees that, Cousland. Not to mention, what will she think when she learns it was your baby sister that left you battered and bruised," Nathaniel Howe teased from the railing.

"I'll give you bruised and battered," he grunted as he lunged, she parried, he swung, she blocked and the when he lunged forward a little too deep she side stepped him, it caught him off balance, and brought the blunt side of her blade down his arm and shoulder. He growled as he swung his sword around and hit her in the back with broad side of his blade, but as he pulled away the tip caught the upper part of her bare arm and sliced through the tender skin. She cried out, but spun around to face him.

He grinned at her, "First one to draw blood wins."

"It's a damn flesh wound. You aren't going to call this over a scratch!"

He walked over to the rail, grabbed a towel and threw it at her. "Now why don't you be a good little girl, run along to see Tyce so he can heal you and come see me again when you're ready to fight with the big boys," he taunted as he jumped over the railing beside Nathaniel.

"Fergus Cousland, I swear to the Maker, I'm going to kick your arse," Willa growled through gritted teeth.

"Will, I think we already established that isn't happening anytime soon," he chuckled as he headed towards the stables. Nathaniel gave her wink and a quick smile before turning to follow her brother.

She let out a howl of frustration as she threw down her daggers. She loved her brother, she was glad he was home, but he was still the most infuriating person she had ever met. She pulled off her rogue's vest, rolled up her sleeve to inspect her arm that was now crimson as blood ran down the length of her arm and dripped into the dirt. The wound was deep, but it didn't look like it had cut through any veins.

Willa immediately recognized the warmth of the healing spell as it washed over her, relaxing her and mending the flesh on her arm. She spun around expecting to see Tyce, but was surprised to be face to face with the young man that all of her mother's maid servants had been fawning over for the past month. Since her return home, she had noticed him around the castle, but mostly from a distance. He was hard not to spot. He was taller than most men. Though, seeing him now up close she understood why the ladies were gushing about Tyce's new apprentice.

He had shoulder length blond hair which was now loose so that it framed his ruggedly handsome face. There was a little bit of stubble along his jawline giving him a rebellious rebel look. She had always had a thing for bad boys, much to the dismay of her mother and he definitely looked like trouble…the fun kind.

However, it was his eyes that captivated her. They were a tawny brown, the color of a fine Antivian brandy; she knew this from the time that she and Nathaniel had snuck into her father's liquor cabinet. However, it wasn't the color of his eyes that mesmerized her it the warmth that she saw there with just a hint of mischief.

She gave him an impish grin, "You're Tyce's new apprentice, right?"

He gave her a lopsided grin that made her stomach flip. "That is correct. I'm Anders and you are Lady Wilhelmina Cousland."

Willa cringed at the use of her given name. "It's a pleasure to meet you Anders, but please call me Willa or just Will," she said as she extended her hand to shake his, but then quickly pulled it away when she saw it was still covered with blood.

"Sorry about that and thank you for healing me," she said has she headed over to the water trough to rise off.

"The pleasure was all mine," Anders said as he stepped up beside her. When she had cleaned off her arm, he pointed to the spot where the wound had been. The skin had been repaired, but there was still a bright red line where the laceration had been. "Do you mind if I take a look at that?"

"No, of course not."

He gently took her arm in his hand then he tenderly ran his finger across the pink flesh and once again warm ripples of healing magic coursed through her. He continued to caress her skin as the magic flowed through him and she felt it from her head to her toes. She let out long sigh as her body trembled slightly against his touch. She looked up at him and he gave her the sexiest smile she had ever seen causing her knees to wobble slightly.

"There, that should minimized the scarring," he said as he released her arm and stepped away from her. "We wouldn't want any imperfections on otherwise flawless skin."

She smiled as she shook her head slightly and snicker. "Wow, you are good."

He gave her a questioning look.

"Now, I understand what all the fuss is about you."

He cocked an eyebrow and chuckled, "There is a fuss about me?"

"Oh yes, you have all of the young, fair maids in an uproar, all of them vying for the handsome mage's attention."

"You think I'm handsome?"

She gave him a sly smile. "I was referring to what the young maids thought."

"So you don't think I'm handsome?"

She smirked. "I didn't say that."

"So you do think I'm handsome?"

"I didn't say that either."

He laughed. "You're a tease."

"And you Ser Mage, are trouble," she stated as she spun on her heels and headed for the castle.

"You have no idea," Anders chuckled loud enough for her to hear.

She turned and gave him one of her most radiant smiles. "I like trouble," she purred as she opened the door and disappeared into the dark hallways of the castle.

**xxXxx**

Willa silently moved down the corridor, she had removed her shoes so that her pursuer would not be able to track her movements. She rounded the corner and swiftly moved into the library. She slowly backed away from the entrance, concealing herself by moving into the dark recesses of the library stake's. She bumped into something behind her, but before she could yelp in surprise an arm snaked around her waist pulling her against a hard, muscular chest just as a hand clamped over her mouth stifling her scream.

"My Lady, it's me Anders. Is everything okay?" He asked as he released his grip on her and she spun to face him.

"Maker's breath, you scared me to death," she hissed.

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked at her. "I scared you? You're the one sneaking around as if you're about to be attacked. Who are you hiding from?" he whispered.

"Mother Mallol...she isn't very happy with me right now and I've been trying to avoid her all afternoon."

"Why?"

"Oh she became rather upset when I told her that just as strength, beauty, intelligence were gifts from the Maker so was magic and like any gift it could be abused, but when used properly it could bless and enhance the lives of many while further serving the will of the Maker."

Anders jaw dropped open in shock. "Y-you said that." She nodded. "And you really feel that that way?"

She smiled warmly at him as she rolled up her sleeve showing him the arm that he had healed yesterday. "You can't even tell that just yesterday a blade had sliced open the flesh on my arm. There isn't even a hint of a scare. I would say that is a blessing. Wouldn't you?"

"I-I just haven't come across many people that aren't afraid of mages or magic," Anders stuttered.

"Oh I think you will find that the Couslands aren't like most people," she replied.

He was about to reply when a shrill voice reverberated down the stone corridor into the library. "Wilhelmina Cousland, I know you're around here somewhere. A guard told me he saw you come this way, young lady."

Willa stiffened as she sank deeper into the stacks of books. "Damn that woman has spies everywhere," she hissed under her breath.

Anders chuckled as he pushed her into a dark alcove then stepped out of the aisle into the main foyer of the library. "Mother Mallol, can I help you?" Anders asked as the Chantry Mother rounded the corner into the library.

"Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here. I didn't mean to disturb you," she said in flustered tone.

"You weren't disturbing me. I was looking up something for Enchanter Tyce when I heard you calling out. Is there something I can help you with?" Anders asked again.

"Hmmm...yes, well...by chance did you happen to see Lady Willa pass through here?"

"Yes, I did about five minutes ago. She mentioned something about needing to get away for a while and going for a ride," Anders replied assuredly.

"Oh course she did. It's her favorite past time when she wants to escape the harsh realities of life. Thank you for letting me know," she said as she hurried out of the room.

Anders waited a few minutes before he returned to the spot she was hiding. "Are you sure she is gone?" She whispered from the shadows.

Anders chuckled. "Yes she is gone."

Willa stepped out of the alcove back into the light of the hall. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, my lady, but I do believe that is now twice that I've come to your aid and I do believe you now owe me a favor."

Willa raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Oh really? So you didn't help me out of the kindness of your heart?"

"Oh course I did, but I did save you twice so don't you think you owe me?" He asked with sly grin that Willa found almost irresistible.

"And how am supposed to repay you for these acts of kindness."

"Oh I can think of a few ways," he replied, his eyes twinkling playfully.

"Preferably ones that allow me to remain fully clothed," she retorted.

"And what makes you think I'm trying to get you out of your clothes?" Anders inquired.

She cocked an eyebrow at him and gave him a smirk, "So you don't want to see me naked?"

She chuckled when she watched the color rise in the mage's cheeks.

"I-I didn't say that either," Anders stuttered.

She couldn't stop the grin from curving at her lips at the sight of the normally charming mage becoming so flustered. After her encounter with him in the sparring ring she had begun to ask around about him. It hadn't taken her long to discover how many of the castle and village's fair maids had already been taken in by his beguiling good looks and smooth talking charms. She knew from past experience the best way to deal with men like that was to throw them off balance by putting them on defense.

"So you do want to see me naked?"

Anders quickly composed himself as his roamed over her body. "Only fool or a blind man would not wish to see all of your beautiful assets."

She smiled as she shook her head. "Yes, now I see why half the women in Highever have already dropped their drawers for you."

Again she enjoyed watching the blush rise on his cheeks, but she didn't trip him up this time. He quickly retorted with a lopsided grin, "Half! Well, that would be ambitious even for me. I've only been here three months. Give me to the Fall Harvest Festival to reach those kind of numbers."

"The festival is only six weeks away not a lot of time to seduce half of Highever."

"I work quickly," Anders replied.

She smirked, "From what I hear, speed isn't necessarily a good thing. But if it's just a numbers game to you and you don't care about pleasing your partner then I guess the 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' approach would work."

"What? That isn't what I meant," Anders said defensively.

"You really should learn to speak your mind more clearly. First you can't decide if you want to see me naked or not. Then you weaver about whether quality or quantity is more important."

She stepped forward and rested her hand on his chest. She suppressed the grin that threatened to spread across her lips when she felt his body tremor against her touch. She leaned in and whispered, "Here's a little tip, most women like their men to be decisive. It shows that a man is confident and self assured."

She stepped away from him and looked up into his eyes that were now visibly burning with desire. "Become that confident, self assured man then we will talk about repayment for favors," she purred before spinning on her heels and leaving him with his jaw hanging open.

_**xxXxx**_

A week later, Willa felt the warm rays of the sun shining through her window, prodding her to get up, but she continued to ignore the day's beaconing call as her thoughts drifted back toward Anders. After their little confrontation in the library she thought that he would have made himself scarce. That is what a cocky man would have done after being called out, but not Anders. He seemed to be turning up everywhere she went. Whether it was the sparring ring, the equestrian training ring, the castle Chantry, the village, even the kitchens, he was always there. He was never intrusive always cordial and friendly. He continued to charm those around them, but he never tried to enchant her with his magical silver tongue. He spoke to her straightforward and pointedly. He still joked with her, but there was never even a hint of an overture or innuendo. However, when they were together she could feel him watching her, studying her as if he was trying to understand her. At times it unnerved her while at the same time it was comforting and reassuring.

A cool breeze blew through the room pulling her out of her thoughts. The chilly gust was the first hint that fall was on its way. It wouldn't be long before the crisp cool air of fall settled over Highever as it prepared the land and people for the bitter, harsh winter that was to come.

Willa throw the blankets off and scrambled to get dressed. Since her return from Vigil's Keep she had yet to visit her favorite spot in Highever and she wanted to head to Conobar's pond before it became too cold to enter the water.

As she rushed out of her room she sent word to the stables to have Taboo, her horse, saddled for her. Then she went to the kitchen and despite Nan's complaints that she needed to sit down for a proper meal she managed to pack some bread, cheese and sweet meats.

Conobar's Pond was halfway between the castle and Highever village. However, it was still off the beaten path and not easy to find if you didn't know what to look for. She cut a twisting path through the forest until it finally opened up into a clearing that held a pond that was surrounded by the trees of the forest with a small waterfall that cascaded down an outcrop of boulders into the pool below.

Willa dismounted Taboo and lead her over to the pond to cool down before she spread out a blanket near the edge of the water and unpacked the food that she had brought. Then she stripped down to her smalls and dove into the water. She yelped as the cold water washed over her skin, making her shiver, but as she began to swim her body temperature warmed up. For her, swimming was great way for to unwind. It was so easy to get lost in the repetitive strokes and just let her mind drift off. She lost count how many laps she had done, but when she finally became winded, she rolled on her back and began to leisurely stroke backwards. She only became aware that she wasn't alone when she heard the high pitched fluctuation of an adolescent boy's voice.

"Sweet Andraste's tits, I didn't know they came built like that," the boy exclaimed.

Willa screamed as she shifted in the water to face her intruder. Standing on the shore was a tall, scrawny boy with wavy black who could be no older than fourteen. His mouth was gaping open as he continued to stare at her. She glanced down to make sure that the water was covering her properly. She looked back and saw Anders standing beside him with mischievous smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes they do and thank the Maker for that," Anders replied as he looked at her, then at her discarded clothes on the blanket and back at her.

"My Lady, you have seemed to lost your clothes. Today must be my lucky day," he chuckled.

"Mine too," the boy exclaimed.

"Anders so help me if you don't leave right now I'll..."

He grinned at her as he began to remove his boots. "You'll what? Come out in your wet, see through smalls and run me through with your sword."

She stared at him as he slowly undid the buttons on his robe then let it slip to the ground. He was only wearing a loose fitting tunic and his trousers.

Her attention snapped back up to his face as he stepped into the water. Her eyes went wide. "W-what are you doing?" She stammered.

"You asked me to be more decisive so I've decided that I most definitely want to see you naked," he said as he took another step toward her. The water now waist deep, his tunic began to soak up the water and cling to his sculpted muscles on his stomach and chest. Maker's breath, how did a mage get a body like that?

"W-what?" She stuttered again.

"I also decided that I should show you that quality and quantity when done right can be one in the same," he purred, taking another step toward her, his eyes darkening with hunger.

"A-anders, this is neither the time nor place. Not to mention there is child..."

"I'm not a child," the boy yelled from behind them.

"Are you nervous, Willa?" Anders asked his eyes boring into hers.

Willa's stomach flipped at the tenderness at which he had spoken. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and she wondered if he could hear it too.

"Why should I be nervous?"

"You tell me. Your eyes are dilated, there is sweat on your brow and your breath is coming in short rapid bursts. Do I make you nervous?" He purred in a seductive tone.

"No," she replied forcefully, but even she could tell her voice lacked the conviction of her response.

"I don't believe you," he whispered as he stepped even closer to her. He was only a few feet away from her and his eyes drifted down from her face to her neck to the swells of her breasts that bobbing just above the surface of the water. The heat of his gaze made all the blood rush to her cheeks and the effect didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Willa, do you honestly believe that a man who lacked confidence and self assurance could have that effect on you?"

"No," she sighed.

He smiled at her and leaned into her. She could feel the warmth of his breath against the side of neck as he said, "Good. You needed to come a little undone, you needed to feel the effect you had on me the other day and everyday since then."

Without waiting for her to respond, he walked out of the pond, got dressed and turned to leave.

"You can't be serious, Anders," the boy exclaimed. "You're just going to leave a nearly naked woman alone in the pond."

"You have to learn to walk away sometimes, Trent," Anders replied as they slipped back into the forest.

* * *

**A/N - I hope you like the beginning of Willa and Anders story. Please let me know your thoughts in the box below. I look forward to hearing from you.**


	3. Chapter 3 Dirty Mind

**Chapter 2 - Dirty Mind**

"There's something about u, baby, it happens all the time  
Whenever I'm around u,baby, I get a dirty mind  
It doesn't matter where we are, it doesn't matter who's around  
It doesn't matter I just wanna lay ya down  
In my daddy's car, it's you I really wanna drive, but you never go too far  
I may not be your kind of man, I may not be your style  
But honey all I wanna do, is just love you for a little while  
If you got the time, I'll give you some money to buy a dirty mind  
Don't misunderstand me I never fool around, but honey you got me on my knees  
Won't you please let me lay ya down(down,down,down)"

_Dirty Mind by Prince_

The hardest thing that Anders had ever done was to walk away from Willa in that pond, but he knew for them to ever have a chance of being on equal footing he couldn't cave into his desire for her. He had watched her closely over the past several weeks and he learned that she used her looks to charm, coerce and manipulate those around her. That is what she had done to him in the library. That little incident had him blithering like an idiot and he knew if he wanted them to become friends he had to force her to see that she was just as attracted to him as he was to her. The acknowledgment of mutual attraction would once again make them equals, and give them a foundation to build their friendship upon.

Yes, he wanted to be friends with her, but he was still a man and he couldn't help, but smile as he thought about the attractive flush on her cheeks, her chest rising and falling in short rapid breaths. He closed his eyes and thought about the way the swells of her breasts bobbed in the water, how just below the surface he could see her hard, pert nipples pressing against the thin material of her breast band. Maker, how he had ached to pull them into his mouth as he swirled his tongue around those aroused bud. Anders groaned at the thought...yes walking away from her had definitely been the hardest thing he had ever done.

Anders heard a noise outside his door. He turned to see the shadow of a pair of bare feet between the gap at the bottom of the door. The shadow paused briefly before continuing on down the hall. Anders threw his legs off the bed, walked swiftly to the door, opened it and peeked down the corridor. He saw a tall figure with mahogany curls just as she rounded the corner trailed by her mabari, Kismet. Kismet was a fierce looking war hound, but from what Anders had seen she was as sweet as candy. He thought about Willa in the pond again and decided that the it was worth the risk the mabari's wrath. Besides at this hour there was only one place she could be heading, if he needed to throw the dog one of Nan's stew bones to keep him calm then he would.

When he caught up to her she had dragged over a stool to the shelves in the larder, she was stepping onto one of the wooden boards to grab a basket of strawberries that was just out of her reach.

"Well, I know what I want to eat," he said from behind her. Startling her, Willa lost her footing and began to fall backwards; with lightening fast reflexes that Anders didn't even know he possessed, he leapt forward her catching her in both of his arms.

She beamed at him, "Hi," she cooed.

"Hi yourself," he said as a deep growl came from behind him and he gently set her on the ground.

"It's okay, girl, Anders is a friend," Willa said to Kismet then looked up at him and smiled. "Aaah, thanks for catching me."

"I'm glad I could be of assistance, my Lady," Anders replied with a roguish grin as he stepped up on the stool and grabbed the basket of strawberries for her.

They walked over to the table where she had already pulled out some whip topping. Willa grabbed a knife and began cutting the tops off of the strawberries. She looked up at Anders and smiled. "I take it you get midnight cravings too."

"You could say that," he said with a grin as he studied her.

She let the innuendo go as she changed the subject. "So who was that boy with you out by the pond the other day?"

"That was Trent McAvey," Anders replied as he took a strawberry, dipped it into the whipped cream and held it out for her. She took the piece of fruit in her mouth and slowly chewed it, licking her lips when she was done. Anders stared at her with a deep hunger, but he quickly pushed the thought aside as he chanted to himself, "Just friends. We are just friends."

"Addie McAvey's son, the village midwife?" Willa asked.

"Yes, Addie has been ill lately and hasn't been able to work as much. Trent is very knowledgeable with plants so I have been teaching him to make healing potions and poultice to sell for extra money," he stated as he dipped another strawberry into the cream and feed it to her. He loved watching her mouth as she chewed. It was so incredibly sexy and she wasn't even trying to be.

Her eyes washed over him as if taking him in for the first time. "That is very kind of you Anders."

He grinned at her. "Yeah, well don't let it get around. I have a reputation to uphold."

"I'll keep it under wraps that underneath that sexy exterior of yours lies a heart of gold," she laughed as she ran her finger through the cream and casually licked it off.

Some girls might make a production out of it, purposely try to make it sexual, but Willa did it without thought or pretense to how alluringly sexual the gesture was and that made it even more erotic. Anders had to bit his tongue to stop the groan from escaping his lips.

"So how did you and Trent get all the way out to Conobar's pond. It's not far from the village, but it isn't easy to get to," Willa asked as she dipped a strawberry into the whip topping then nonchalantly sucked the cream off the berry before she popped it into her mouth.

Anders closed his eyes for a moment trying to collect himself before he spoke. "Hmmm, we walked," he replied.

"Walked? Why didn't you take one of the horses from the stables?"

"What would I do with a horse?" He asked.

"Ride it," she replied sardonically.

"Well, with as much as I know about horses the beast would end up riding me before it was all said and done with. No, thanks I'll stick with the two feet the Maker gave me for my mode of transportation."

Willa laughed that infectious laugh of hers. "Well, let me say this, as dogs are to Ferelden, horses are to Highever. If you want the people to trust you then you need to learn to ride."

"Oh I know how to ride...just not horses," Anders purred.

She smirked at him as she dipped her finger into whipped cream again, but this time as she brought her finger up Anders grabbed her wrist, and brought her hand to his mouth. She gasped when he captured her finger with his mouth. He ran his tongue around it sucking and licking the sweet topping off. Anders pulled another one of her fingers into his mouth and watched with delight as her body quivered from the sensation.

"A-anders," she moaned and that was enough to break his resolve. He reached out for her with his free arm and pulled her to him. With his other hand still on her wrist he pulled her finger out his mouth and replaced them with his lips. His tongue swirled, teased and licked at her bottom lip until her mouth parted, he took his time, gently caressing, thoroughly exploring her. She sighed against his mouth, her warm, sweet breath mingling with his. Maker, he loved the taste of her, he couldn't get enough of her. His arm slid around her waist, splaying his hands on the small of her back, he molded her to him. His promise to Tyce forgotten as he drank from her lips becoming intoxicated by her.

Her arms went around his neck, she returned his kiss just as eagerly and with each foray of her tongue she tasted, teased and caressed him so provocatively that it was driving him insane.

His mantra about being just friends began to chant in his head again. He reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "I swear you're going to be my undoing."

She smiled then licked at the corner of his mouth, "Mmmm, I missed a spot of cream."

Anders closed his eyes as he tried to rein in his hunger for her. "I have never met anyone that has affected me as deeply as you have."

She raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Don't tell me the playboy mage has developed a soft spot for the Lady of the manor," she teased.

"The playboy mage has developed something, but I would hardly call it soft," he sighed as he pressed his lips against her forehead before pulling away.

"I don't have a clue what you could possibly be referring too," she said coyly.

Anders let out deep sigh as he stood, held out his hand to her and helped her. He led her towards the door. "Somehow I doubt that, but for now I think we should go with this naive charade of yours."

A few days later Anders was lying on his bed contemplating how he was ever going to be around Willa and not want to kiss her. He had been avoiding her for the past several days as he tried desperately to figure out why he was so drawn to her and how to reign in his growing need for her. It wasn't just a physical yearning, but it was how she made him feel when he was alone with her. She made him feel completely at ease, she relaxed his mind, body and spirit while at the same time she stirred his very soul. Then of course there was his physical need for her that was growing out of control ever since the night in the kitchen. All he could think about was her feel of her soft lips, the taste of her mouth and wanting desperately to pull her back into his arms so that he could explore her mouth again, but this time more thoroughly.

There was a loud rap at his door and he barely yelled come in before it swung wide open. Anders had to bit his lip to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. Willa stood in the doorway wearing dark brown leather riding pants and a matching boots, she wore an ivory tunic that laced up the front and a brown and red vest that buttoned just below her breasts emphasizing the succulent mounds and her cinched waist. She rested her weight on her right hip that was jutting out as she slapped a riding crop against the palm of her left hand. She was giving him an impish grin as her eyes danced with mischief.

He grinned back at her as he eyed the riding crop. "Was I naughty? Are you my punishment? Cause I have to say Wills, the way you look right now isn't much of deterrent to keep me from sinning again."

She continued to smile as she walked into the room. "You tell me Anders, were you naughty?" She cooed.

"Not yet, but I wanna be," he purred.

"Well, I'll have to leave the transgressing up to you. For now, I thought I would give you a riding lesson," she said with sly undertone.

"Sweetheart, I do believe I would be the one giving instructions with regards to that," Anders retorted.

"Let me clarify, dear mage, I meant a horseback riding lesson. I do believe you said that you have never ridden."

"Oh that kind of riding...yes, you are correct. Not a lot of horses running around in the Circle. It would get a bit cramped if there were."

"Well, Highever is known for its horses and if you want to be truly accepted by its people you have to know how to ride," she said as she stepped back out into the hall and grabbed something from the floor. As she returned she tossed some clothes over to him.

"You are about the same size as Fergus. His old riding clothes should fit. His boots are in the hall. I'll meet you in the stables in twenty minutes," she ordered.

"As you wish, Mistress, if I am good boy do I get a riding crop of my own," Anders purred.

"Only experienced riders get to use the riding crop," she replied dryly as she spun on her heels. He watched as she left the room and the way those damn leather pants hugged her perfect bottom as her hips swayed back and forth as she walked. This was going to be a long day.

"Equal footing, my ass. I'm doomed," he thought as he began to get dressed.

Twenty minutes later Anders made his way out to the stables. Willa's horse, a pretty Palomino, was saddled and tethered to a hitching post. Willa stood in the courtyard waiting for him, holding the reins of a beautiful all black horse. He stopped and stared at the intimidating creature. She smiled at him and waved him forward.

"Don't be afraid. Mojo is a wonderfully trained horse. I promise he won't let anything happen to you," she said coercing him forward.

"Mojo?' Anders asked.

She grinned. "Yes, I thought you would like the name. It means magic charm or talisman."

Anders chuckled. "Yes, that is one definition."

"Oh and what is your definition."

"Well, in the tower we referred to mojo as your sex appeal, or the magic you that possessed over the opposite sex."

Willa raised an eyebrow. "Really? Use it in a sentence."

He sauntered over to her, took a lock of her hair and twisted it around his fingers as he whispered, " Hey baby, you don't stand a chance if my mojo is working tonight."

Willa laughed. "Please tell me that you never used that line."

"Of course not, I'm much more subtle. You asked me to use it in a sentence so I did."

"Thank the Maker for that. If you had I would seriously worry about the sanity of the girls you have slept with."

"Hey every girl I've ever been with had all of her mental faculties... relatively speaking."

"If you say so," Willa chuckled as she handed Anders a carrot. "Now, back to the reason we are here. Ideally you want to approach a horse from the front, but if that isn't possible from the left side and unless you want the horse's shoe imprinted on your behind never approach from behind."

"Good to know. I prefer my arse unmarked."

"Oh and here I thought you wanted me to use my riding crop on it," Willa teased.

"You keep making promises you won't fulfill."

"You never know, one day I might and you will end up with a smacked bottom."

"A man can dream," he chuckled.

"Now, Anders I want you approach Mojo from the front. Once he has lifted his head to acknowledge you, spread your hand out flat, palm up, but don't let your fingertips roll up. It works best if you arch your palm slightly backward, with your fingertips bent toward the ground. Place the carrot in your palm then lift your hand up a few feet away towards the horse's mouth."

Anders did as instructed and Mojo extended his neck to take the carrot out of his hand. He began to chuckle as the beautiful animal ate from his palm. "His lips are so soft...they tickle a bit."

She smiled at him. "Now, gently stroke his neck."

Anders once again did as he was told. After a few strokes Mojo leaned forward and nuzzled his neck. Willa giggled. "I believe you have made a friend."

"Good boy, Mojo," Anders said.

"Now with your hand still on his neck move around to his left side. Place your left foot in the stirrup, grab hold of the lower part of Mojo's mane, bend your right knee, push off so that you have momentum and pull yourself up."

"Won't that hurt him?"

"If you do it right it won't. Horses don't have nerve endings at the end of their hair. If you are using Mojo's mane to pull all of your weight onto him, then he will feel the pressure and not be happy with you. However, if you mount him correctly by gaining momentum and you just use his mane for balancing and positioning, he will not be irritated or upset with you and probably won't throw you," Willa deadpanned.

"Probably!"

"I'm pretty sure he won't," Willa teased.

Anders glared at her before grabbing Mojo's mane, placing his foot in the stirrups, he bent his right knee and was about to push off when he lost his balance and stumbled back.

"Oh yes, I'm seeing the fun in this," Anders muttered.

Willa giggled. "Don't be so whiny. It takes a little practice. Now, try it again."

Anders huffed in frustration as he approached the horse again. He did as Willa instructed and the second time was the charm as he slid into the saddle.

Over the next hour Willa instructed him on the basics of horseback riding. When she felt that he had master the fundamentals asked if he was ready to go for a short ride. He nodded and she lead them out of the instruction ring, down a path that headed through the meadow behind the castle to forest just beyond. Mojo followed behind Willa always keeping pace with her. She never had them go any faster than a trot even though Anders could sense that both horses were eager to stretch their legs.

The trail through the woods finally opened up to a breathtaking vista that overlooked the ocean. Near the edge of the bluff sat a cottage with a wrap around porch that afforded a spectacular view of the bluff, the woods and the crashing waves below.

Willa dismounted, and secured her horse to a nearby tree, leaving enough slack so he could graze. Anders did likewise then they made their way toward the welcoming bungalow. On the porch was a round table that had been elegantly prepared for lunch.

"What's this?" He asked.

"I sent word ahead that I wanted to have lunch on the porch. Nan sent out a couple of servant to prepare this for us."

Anders shook his head at the lavish lifestyle that the nobles had. One that most of them seem to take for granted. Instead of commenting on that he said, "What an incredibly cozy lodge."

Willa smiled as Anders pulled out her chair for her to take a seat then he quickly took his place beside her. "My father had this built for my mother as a wedding gift. It was their place to escape to when they need some time alone. They used it quite often and still do as a matter fact. I personally believe its because they always made time for each other that they are still so much in love."

"A wise couple places value on the time they spend alone with each other," Anders said.

"Well, said from a man that switches bed partners quicker then the maid can change the sheets," Willa chuckled.

"Just because I've never been in love doesn't mean I can't recognize it and your parents seem to have a very extraordinary relationship."

Willa looked directly into his eyes. "You've never been in love?" She asked astounded.

"No," he replied bluntly.

She narrowed her eyes on him. "How old are you Anders?"

He chuckled. "I'm twenty one, but I don't believe age has anything to do with falling in love. I do believe that your heart has to be open to it and in the Circle I never allowed my heart to be open to that. Sex was one thing...it was a way to satisfy physical urges and the emotional need to have physical contact with another human being, but love never entered into the picture."

"Why?" She asked as she laid her hand tenderly on top of his.

He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about his life at the circle until he looked into her eyes. Those vibrant green eyes stared at him with wonder and fascination. She truly wanted to hear what he had to say...she wanted to know him. The real him and the very idea of someone taking a true interest in knowing who he was made him want to bare his soul to her.

"To love someone in the Circle meant to risk giving the Templars something they could use against you. To truly love someone means you would do anything for them, risk everything to save them and that gave the Templars power over you. It was bad enough being held captive by those monsters. That alone gave them supremacy over you, but if they could truly control you because you allowed yourself to love another...well, you would be at their mercy and a templar's mercy is nothing to scoff at," Anders said bitterly.

He felt her hand leave his, a moment later it came to rest against his cheek as she cupped it in her hand. The mere feel of her gentle touch stoked the fire that was always within him anytime she was near, but now she sent it roaring through his body.

"I'm so sorry, Anders," she sighed as she guided his face toward hers, her lips brushing lightly against his. He trembled slightly at the unexpected pleasure of their lips touching. She then leaned in to deepen the kiss, her lips moved gently against his; the kiss was sweet and chaste at first, but Anders could feel her underlying desire as her mouth moved against his and it was equal to his own. Every fiber in his body wanted to take comfort in the tenderness of her lips, to find solace in her embrace, but he knew he couldn't seek that from her. He had made a promise to Tyce and himself. If this relationship was going to work they had to remain just friends.

Reluctantly, he pulled away from her, he brought his hand up and rested it against her jaw as his thumb lovingly caressed her bottom lip. "We can't do this," he whispered.

"Why?" She asked and he could hear the confusion in her voice.

"Willa, it's not that I don't want you. Maker, knows I do, but you are the daughter of a Teryn and I am a mage..."

"I don't care about that. You know that," she interjected.

"I don't care how tolerant your father is with regards to mages he will not want magic entering into the Cousland bloodline..."

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Anders," she interrupted again.

He slid his hand down her slender neck to the valley between her breast. He could feel her heart pounding in her chest as her cheeks flushed red. "You feel this, right? This unexplainable need to be near each other, unable at times to resist one another. I'm drawn to you, Willa. I don't know why. But you feel this too, right?"

She nodded. "If we act on these feelings they are only going to intensify, they are only going to grow stronger and I can't risk that."

"Because of the Templars," she said with an edge of bitterness to her voice.

"No, because I think you're the one person I might be willing to risk everything for and I know that we have no future together. You are a noble and I am no one..."

"No your not!" She exclaimed.

He smiled tenderly at her. "You know in your heart what I say is true. Wills, there is no future for us except as friends."

"I hate this world," she stated in a resigned tone as she leaned back against her chair. "Its so unfair. If two people meet and fall in love they should have the right to be together regardless of class or race."

Despite how mature she seemed at times, she had seen little of this world outside the one that her family had created for her and her views were still those of a seventeen year old girl. Maker, he wished she could stay like that forever. He didn't want the harsh realities of this life to change her. He took her hand in his and kissed it affectionately. "Those are beautiful, romantic sentiments, but unrealistic ideals in today's world."

"I like my world better," she said with a pout that was so damn sexy he nearly lost all of his self control and claimed her lips again.

"So do I," Anders replied.

She leaned forward grabbed a piece of cheese and popped it into her mouth. "Tell me about your first time?"

Anders nearly choked. "M-my first time what?"

"The first time you made love to a girl."

Still choking he coughed out, "T-that's a bit blunt, don't you think?"

"Well, we're friend. Friends tell each other about their conquests," she stated with air of exasperation.

"Fine, I'll tell you about mine after you tell me about yours," he challenged.

"Well, Maker only knows when I'll hear about your first time then," Willa retorted.

"Oh so it okay for me to share about my first time, but you can't share yours?"

"That isn't what I said. I would share, if I had anything to share."

"It couldn't have been that bad," Anders chuckled.

"I wouldn't know because there hasn't been a first time yet," she shot back.

"What?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Anders? I'm still a virgin."

Anders' mouth gaped open. "You're a what?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Marker's arse, Anders. I'm untouched, innocent, never known a man...a vir-gin. You've heard of them right. There has to be at least a few of them still running around the Circle that you haven't managed to seduce!" She exclaimed.

He stared at her stunned. Andraste's tits, all of the things that he had fantasized about doing to her, all the glorious pleasures he wanted give to her...shit, now he just felt like a dirty old man.

"Y-you don't act like a virgin." His eyes went wide when he saw the shocked look on her face and realized he said that out loud.

Willa burst out laughing. "I didn't realize I needed to carry a sign around my neck advertising my current status. Tell me, Anders, what does a virgin act like?"

"Well, for starters they aren't so blatant about their attraction to a man. They are more coy, chaste even. They don't throw around innuendos like they are a barmaid in a brothel and they sure as hell don't show up at a man's door wearing leather riding pants and swinging a riding crop around."

Willa broke out into fits of laughter again. Maker, he loved the sound of her laugh. He wanted to make her laugh like that always.

"Anders, I was raised around boys. I grew up playing with Fergus and the sons of the Highever Knights, not to mention my best friend is a squire. They treated me as one of the boys, not as Lady Cousland. They never curved their tongues or their behavior in front of me. I've heard every raunchy joke, know curse words that would turn the Grand Cleric's hair blue and listened to all their tall tales of their conquests. Just because I don't always act the part of a noble lady doesn't mean I'm whoring myself around either."

"Wills, I never thought of you as whoring yourself around!" Anders replied defensively.

"Are you sure about that? You seemed very certain that I wasn't a virgin."

Anders sat up, took her hand once again in his and looked directly into her eyes. "The way you talk and act, I thought you were experienced, but I never thought of you as girl that was loose with her body. I, for one, am very happy that they treated as one of the boys. You're the most interesting, intriguing woman I've ever met."

She smiled impishly at him. "You think I'm interesting and intriguing?"

"Yes...as you said, in the Circle virgin are rare specimens indeed. Its nice to see one up close," Anders teased.

Willa reached over and smacked him. "Ouch! You certainly don't hit like a virgin."

She smacked him again.


	4. Chapter 4 What If

**Chapter 3 - What If**

"What if i told you -(what if i said) that i loved you  
How would you feel? What would you think? What would we do?  
Do we dare cross that line, between your heart and mine  
Or would i lose a friend. Or find a love that would never end. What if i said  
Oh we've both had our share of loneliness, so who's to say we can't have a little happiness  
And if i found that in you, it would make my dreams come true  
Or would you walk away, hear what i have to say"

_What If by Steve Wariner & Anita Cochran_

Over the next month Willa and Anders made a habit of going riding together one day a week and it was something that she looked forward to. Even when they weren't riding together, they still managed to see each other during the day. One of them always making an excuse to seek out the other. It was as Anders had said, there was this unexplainable need to be near each other even if it was only briefly.

However, their riding days were the time that she truly relished being with him. It was hours of just the two of them, alone with no fear of being interrupted. It was the only time that Anders let his guard down and was completely himself with her. Riding day was always on Thursdays after her Chantry lesson because that was the day that her father met with the banns of the teryn and her mother entertained their wives with tea and pastries. Willa's absence for the most part would go unnoticed. Not that she worried if her parents knew that she was spending time with Anders. As he had plainly stated they were just friends. No, the Thursday arrangement was more for Anders peace of mind who seemed very preoccupied with who saw them together. It was almost enough to give a girl a complex.

She had to admit that she had been hurt when Anders had so adamantly denied the two of them becoming involved. She knew he wanted her, it was obvious every time she caught him looking at her when he didn't think she saw him and she also knew that he cared about her which was why he worked hard to always remain within the boundaries of friendship. However, at times those lines would blur and innuendos, double entendres or the occasional overture would be made, but Anders was always the first one to pull back, always the one to rein their growing hunger back in and stop them from feeding their needs.

It was becoming frustrating...both physically and emotionally, but she knew logically that he had made a sound argument. She knew one day after the plague had been eradicated that eventually the Chantry would want him to go back to the Circle and there wouldn't be a thing her father could do to stop them from taking him. She knew that when that day came her heart would break and she knew that if she were intimately involved with him it would be beyond repair.

Anders knew this too and that was why he always stopped them from moving past the point where neither one of them could stop. She knew he was only trying to protect her, but the memory of his lips and warmth of his body made it difficult not to press him for more. If she did push him, how long would it take before he could no longer resist her?

Today they had ridden to the pond he had found her at a month ago. Now, they both leisurely laid under one of the trees. Anders leaned back against its trunk with Willa's legs across his lap as she laid back on the blanket, her long hair fanned out around her head. Anders studied her for a moment then went back to sketching her in his journal. He drew her every time they went out, but he never let her see his drawings. He told her he would let her see them when they were completed, when they were perfect.

"So are you going to tell me today about the first time you made love to a girl?" She asked coyly trying to catch him off guard.

"Nope," he replied unphased.

"Why not?"

He set his battered journal aside and looked directly into her eyes. "Because I've never made love to anyone. I've had a lot of sex, Wills, a lot of great sex, but I've never made love to anyone."

"And if we ever took our relationship to the next step, would we have great sex?" she whispered feeling the burn on her flushed cheek even as she asked the question.

"No, because we wouldn't have sex. I would make love to you and it would be amazing," he sighed wistfully as his hungry gaze lingered on her. Then he grabbed up his sketchpad to resume drawing. "Now can we change the subject? There is no need to dwell on things that aren't going to happen."

She knew his moods by now and by the stern look on his face she knew not to press the issue.

"So are you excited about the fall festival next week?" He asked.

"Not really, I've been to the past seventeen of them so I doubt this one will be much different," she stated.

"I hear Nathaniel Howe will be here for the festival," Anders said nonchalantly.

"He is at the festival every year just as Fergus is at the Amaranthine festival. It a way of showing unity in the teryn," Willa explained.

"He likes you, you know," he said it casually, but Willa could hear the strain in his voice.

"I would hope he likes me, he's known me all my life. Our fathers are the closest of friends."

"He likes you as more than a friend."

"What makes you say that?"

"I've seen the way he looks at you."

"And how is that?"

"With hungry eyes."

Willa laughed, but said nothing.

"You aren't denying it. What is your relationship with him, Wills?"

"Complicated."

"Tell me about it."

Willa remained silent.

"Wills?" Anders prompted.

She thought about it for a moment then replied. "Nate is a few years older than me, but we have been friends most of our lives. I had always thought of him and his brother and sister as an extended part of our family...at least until we became teenagers."

"And then?"

"Well...I started to see Nate more as man then a boy and as my body began to change he stopped treating me as a child and more like a Lady."

"Oh I'm sure you loved that," Anders chuckled.

"Normally I would have hate it, but it was somehow endearing coming from him. When his family would visit here or ours would go to Vigil's Keep Nate and I started spending more and more time together and I really enjoyed his company..." Willa's voice trailed off.

"How much did you enjoy his company?"

"Let's just say it was pleasant for both of us."

Anders raised an eyebrow. "Pleasant or pleasurable?"

Smiled teasingly at him. "Both."

"Oh really? Do tell."

"A lady never kisses and tells."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

"Yes, I care for him very much."

"Do you love him?"

Again she was silent for a long moment. "I thought I could fall in love him, but now...I don't know."

"What changed?"

"Everything."

Anders studied her contemplating whether he really wanted to continue with this line of questioning. Finally he asked, "How?"

"I discovered that I don't want to settle."

Anders laughed. "And you think being involved with the heir to Amaranthine would be settling. Who are you aiming for, my dear? King Calian? Cause I hear he is already married."

She laughed. "I wasn't referring to station, Silly. I meant emotionally I don't want to settle."

"And how would being with Nathaniel be settling emotionally? You said you cared for him very much."

"I do...things with Nate are comfortable, familiar, safe...and so fucking boring..."

Anders roared with laughter. "There is something to be said for familiar and safe."

Still laying back on the blanket, she looked directly into Anders eyes, holding his gaze as she spoke. "Not for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone that ignites a spark in me that lights up my very soul. I want someone that truly sees me, understands me and doesn't want to change me. I want someone that makes my knees go weak with just a glance, who steals my breath away when he walk into a room, someone who understands me better than I understand myself at times and whose very presence brings me peace. I want to be with someone not because its easy or convenient..." she paused as she thought about what she wanted to say next. Anders remained silent. Letting her gather herself. "I think the best kind of love really scares the shit out you, but you push through it because you can't imagine living without it or them."

Anders eyes darkened with a fevered yearning she had never seen before. His breathing becoming ragged, but he tried to calm himself. Willa didn't want him calm. She sat up, slid into his lap and straddled his hips. Her fingers entwining in his hair, she leaned down and nipped at his ear as she whispered. "You are those things to me. You make me crazy, Anders. You are the line I shouldn't cross, but every fiber of my being is telling me erase that line because when I'm with you I feel whole."

Anders groaned into her neck as his arms encircled her waist. "Oh Willa...my dear sweet Wills."

His left hand slid up her back, his fingers fisted into the hairs at the nape of her neck as he guided her head towards his. Their breath mingled together for a moment as his lips tenderly brushed against hers before his mouth completely claimed hers. His tongue caressed her lips begging for her to open up to him which she willingly did.

Every fiber in her body came to life as he explored the contours of her mouth. His lips were soft, but firm. His mouth hot as he devoured her, fully tasting her as their tongues engaged in a heated dance of desire and need. He was completely aroused; she could feel his erection thick and hard against her core, and his unabashed desire for her sent a searing wave of yearning shooting through her entire body. She responded to her desire by pressing down against his length and grinding against him. A deep rumble tore from his chest - half moan, half growl as his hips surged into the warm apex of her thighs.

Anders' fingers were still fisted in her hair and he pulled at it forcing her head back. She felt his soft, full lips, his warm wet tongue on her sensitive skin as he kissed, licked, nibbled his way down the column of her throat to it's hollow base, currents of electricity shoot through her body causing her to tremble against him. Anders grazed her skin lightly with his teeth as he worked his way up the other side of her neck as she rocked urgently...desperately against his hard length, the exquisite pleasure sent her already taut senses spinning out of control.

"Anders," she moaned as pressed down on him even harder.

The sound of her voice caused him to pull away, his eyes found hers and she saw yearning mixed with conflict. Willa tenderly touched his face as her fingers traced the contours of his cheek, jaw and lips. "Don't," she whispered pleadingly.

Before he could reply the sound of pounding hooves thundered through the woods. Willa leapt off Anders, sprung to her feet and drew her daggers. Anders was immediately at her side, his staff at the ready just as two horses stormed into the clearing.

It took Willa a moment to recognize Ser Ulric, captain of the Highever guards, but once she did she lowered her weapons. "Ser Ulric, what has happened?"

"My Lady, we need Tyce's apprentice immediately. Lord Howe's traveling party was attacked on their way to Highever...Lord Howe has been seriously injured."

"Where is Tyce?" Willa asked.

"He is in the Village of Faladore tending to several families with the plague," Anders stated as both he and Willa untethered their horses and followed the knights back to the castle.

Both of them rushed into Nathaniel's room, but when Willa saw her dear friend's bloody and broken body she stopped dead in her tracks. Anders didn't hesitate, he was at the bedside in an instant his hands glowing a warm blue as he examined his wounds.

"Anders, can you heal him?" Her father asked as he stepped out of the shadows of the room causing both her and Anders jump at his sudden appearance.

Anders quickly composed himself. "Yes, his injuries are extensive, but they are not life threatening, your Grace. However, I will need extra bottles of lyrium."

"Of course," Bryce said as he turned to her. "Willa, do you know where Tyce keeps his lyrium?"

"Yes, Father," she said as she turned and raced towards Tyce's office.

She was back in a matter of minutes, but even in that short period of time Anders looked exhausted. She knew that he was a young mage and that he didn't have the stamina that Tyce had. As she handed Anders the vials she hoped that they had enough lyrium for him to properly heal Nathaniel.

Willa sat in the chair beside the bed and took Nathaniel's hand in hers. "Please Nate, please come back to me, my dear friend."

She felt Anders eyes burning into her. She looked up just in time to see the pain registrar in his eyes before he closed off his emotions and continued to work on Nathaniel. He couldn't be upset that she was concerned over Nathaniel's well being. Anders knew that he was her oldest and dearest friend. Not to mention she had just bared her soul to him. Without saying those three little words that she knew would scare Anders to death, she had told him how she felt about him. How could he doubt her now?

Willa remained at Nathaniel's bedside long after Anders had said he had done all that he could for him and that his body just needed time to recover, but she refused to leave his side until she knew for certain that he was going to be alright. When she could no longer stay awake she laid her head down on the bed beside Nathaniel and fell asleep.

She was awoken by the tender caress of fingertips along her cheek. She looked up and saw Nathaniel's stormy gray eyes staring at her. He smiled at her. "I could get use to waking up to the beautiful vision I was privileged to this morning."

"Oh Nate, you always were a horrible liar. I must look dreadful," she said as she stretched trying to work the kinks out of her neck and back.

"My dear, you could be dressed in ash cloth and covered in mud and you still could take a man's breath away," Nathaniel said.

A cough came from the doorway and they both looked up to see Anders there. "I wanted to stop by and see how my patient is doing."

Nathaniel smiled warmly at the mage as Anders crossed the room to stand beside the bed opposite of Willa. "So it is you I owe my gratitude to for saving my life," Nathaniel stated.

"No gratitude necessary, I am just glad that I was able to completely heal you," Anders said as he raised his hands. "May I?"

"Yes, of course," he replied.

Anders thoroughly examined him and when he was seemed completely satisfied he gave a curt nod. "You are completely healed. You may be sore for a few days, but nothing that a few healing potions won't help with. You should take it easy and not overexert yourself."

Nathaniel laughed. "Well, that will be easier said than done. You obviously have never seen Willa dance. Once the music starts there is no getting her off the dance floor, but death by music in the arms of beautiful woman might be the perfect way to go."

Anders jaw stiffened, but his voice was pleasant when he replied, although Willa could hear the tension in it. "Yes, if it's your time that would certainly be a pleasant way to go. I am glad that you are making a speedy recovery. I will let you get your rest. I have somethings to attend to in Tyce's absence."

"Oh course, thank you again for coming to my aid," Nathaniel said.

Anders bowed. "It was my pleasure." Then he turned to leave.

"Anders, wait," Willa called out, but he pretended he didn't hear her and continued out the door.

Willa turned to Nathaniel and smiled. "I'll be right back."

He nodded as she hurried out the door and down the corridor. Anders had just rounded a corner when she called out to him again, but he continued to ignore her. She now ran to catch up to him, calling out his name, but he only picked up his pace. When she finally reached him she grabbed his arm and spun him to face her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She demanded.

"Nothing, I'm just busy with Tyce being gone," he replied cooly.

"Bullshit, you have been acting strange ever since we returned to the castle yesterday. You know that Nate is my closest friend, but after yesterday I would have thought you..."

Anders turned his cool gaze on her. "Yesterday was a mistake."

"No it wasn't!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, it was Willa. This is not my world. It's your world. You belong with Nathaniel..."

"I don't want to be with Nathaniel. I want to be you."

"You only think you do because I am someone new, someone different, a distraction from the life you are bound to by duty and honor that you don't want, but I am not what you need."

"Y-yes, you are!" Tears stung her eyes, but she fought them back.

"No, I'm not. We come from two very different worlds that have no place in each others lives. Nathaniel loves you. He can give you a life I will never be able to. A life you deserve."

"I don't love Nathaniel."

"You don't love me either."

She straightened to her full height and proudly pushed her shoulders back. Through gritted teeth she hissed, "Don't you dare presume to tell me what I am feeling. You may not have feelings for me Anders and somehow I will learn to live with that, but don't you ever belittle me by telling me that what I'm feeling isn't real."

Without waiting for him to reply she stormed away from him.

* * *

**A/N - Thanks to everyone that favored this story or left a comment. I love hearing your thoughts and I hope you continue to share them with me. **


	5. Chapter5 Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me

**Chapter 4 - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me**

"Don't let the sun go down on me

Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see

I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free

But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find, oh the right romantic line

But see me once and see the way I feel

Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm

But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal"

_Don't let the sun go down on me by Elton John_

Watching Willa walk away from him, letting her believe that he didn't have feelings for her nearly broke him. Anders was right when he told her that yesterday had been a mistake. It had been - yesterday completely changed everything. She had rocked him to his very core with her words and actions and in doing so had changed the dynamics of their relationship. He knew he loved her. He also knew he could never tell her that because it would make their inevitable separation almost impossible - for both of them. However, without saying the words she had told him how she had felt about him. She had said all the things that he was feeling, but to afraid to to tell her.

"_You make me crazy, Anders. You are the line I shouldn't cross, but every fiber of my being is telling me erase that line because when I'm with you I feel whole." _Her words still haunted him.

Never in his wildest dreams had he believed that someone could possible feel that a way about him and her heartfelt declaration had broken down every one of his defenses that he had constructed to withstand her, it had brought down every barrier he had erected and he had hungrily given in to her - tasting her, feeling her pressed against his body, the heat of her as she rode against him was more than he could take and every emotion he had for her he poured into that kiss. Trying to tell her without words just how much he loved her and needed her.

If they hadn't been interrupted he was sure he would have willingly lost himself completely in her and would have taken her virginity in the process. He would have hated himself for doing it because he had no right to take that from her. That was something that was precious and meant for the man that she would spend the rest of her life with and that most certainly would not be him - a wanted mage, with nothing, but the clothes on his back and his heart to offer her. She deserved so much more than that and Teryn Bryce Cousland reminded him of that very fact yesterday when Willa had to run to get the extra lyrium vials.

"_Thank you for coming so quickly, Anders. I appreciate your aid while Tyce is gone. You have been a great asset to me and the people of Highever," Teryn Cousland said._

"_I am glad I can help, Your Grace," Anders replied. _

_Bryce Cousland studied him for a long time before he replied. "I've noticed that you and Willa have been spending a lot of time together lately. She has been giving you riding lessons, correct?"_

_Anders eyes went wide with shock as he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. The image of Willa pressed against him, the searing burn of her lips against his, passed through his mind and Anders thought he might pass out. "Aaah...well, yes Your Grace. Willa has been a good friend."_

_Bryce smiled warmly at him making feel instantly calm. The Teryn had an easy manner and grace about him that put those around him at ease. "Anders, I've seen the way that she looks at you and the way that you look at her. We both know that it is deeper than friendship."_

"_Your Grace, I would never do anything to dishonor Willa or you."_

_The Teryn continued to smile at him. "Despite the reputation that you had with the ladies when you first arrived, I do believe that you care for Willa and would do nothing to harm her or her reputation."_

_Anders felt the color rise in his cheeks at the thought of the Teryn knowing about his behavior when he had first arrived at Highever. "I wouldn't. I do care for her."_

_Bryce nodded. "Yes, I know you do and the way that she looks at you its as if you hung the moon and stars in the sky...a too be young and wild at heart once again." He paused as he collected his thoughts. "Anders, I am not a prejudice man. I believe the way the Chantry treats the mages is appalling. Yes, mages can be dangers, they do need to be watched, but not held in a prison without the most basic of human rights. That is why I never notified the Chantry that an apostate was here in Highever."_

_Anders mouth dropped open in utter disbelief and Bryce Cousland chuckled. "Don't be so shocked, my boy. I would be a lousy teryn if I wasn't aware what was taking place in my terynship. Don't you think?"_

_Anders was at a complete loss for words and could only nod. "My point is that the plague has bought you some additional time. The Chantry is reluctant to send their templars into Highever because they don't want to risk exposing them, but once the epidemic is over they will come looking for you and you will have to go on the run. I will help you anyway I can..."_

"_You're silence has been more than enough. I do not wish to place you and your family in any more danger. I will leave immediately," Anders replied._

"_No, you won't. You will continue to stay and help Tyce deal with this overwhelming plague. He needs you and my people need you. You are safe for now Anders and because of your aid when the time comes I help you to safety. I did not bring this to your attention because you are an apostate, the reason I brought this up is because of Willa. She may seem very mature for her age and in a lot ways she is. As the the daughter of a Teryn she had to grow up quickly, but she still is only seventeen. She has the heart of a seventeen year old girl, a heart that is filled with all the romantic notions that a girl her age should be filled with. She is falling in love with you, Anders. Its plain to see to anyone willing to look, but we both know that there is no future for the two of you and the longer that you continue with this relationship the harder and more painful it will be on both of you when you have to leave. She is falling in love for the first time, even if she could see the logic in what I'm saying she doesn't have the strength to walk away from you. You are older than her, I know you have to see that I am only speaking the truth and I'm hoping by appealing to you that you will be the honorable man that I believe you to be and end this now."_

_Anders nodded solemnly in agreement. As much as he hated hearing what the Teryn had said Anders knew he was right. He had known it from the very beginning. They were destined to never be together no matter how strong the draw between them was. "Yes, your Grace, I will do the honorable thing and what is best for Willa."_

_Bryce gave him a sad smile. "If it's any consolation, I'm really sorry it has to be this way. I like you, Anders. You are good for Willa. You make her happy and I really love seeing my daughter happy." He shook his head in frustration. "Life...sometimes it really sucks!"_

_Anders couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, it really does, your Grace."_

Now as Anders stood in the shadows of the castle not wanting to be seen, not feeling like interacting with others, he watched Willa spin around the Festival bonfire in Nathaniel's arms, the two of them looking very much like the noble couple they were, and despite the ache in his chest he knew he had done the right thing. This was her world, where she belonged, where she would thrive. It didn't matter how much he loved her, he would never be apart of this world and nothing was ever going to change that. He hated causing her pain, it was ripping him apart actually. He knew it would only get worse as he continued to put distance between them and he knew she wouldn't make it easy on him. It wasn't in her nature to give up without a fight. He just prayed he had the strength to resist her.

He knew the Teryn had been right, if he allowed their relationship to continue it would only bring more pain when he had to leave her, but damn he was going to miss everything about her. From the way her eyes danced as she told a joke, to her infectious laugh, her fierce loyalty to those she loved, her kind heart, her fiery temper, the mischievous look that stole over her face when she was about to say or do something that a "proper lady" shouldn't - everything about her he was going to ache for, but most of all he would miss the way she made him feel.

Willa had told him that he made her whole. What he didn't have a chance to tell her was how she made him feel. When he was with her, just being in her very presence made him feel safe, comfortable and for the first time in his life at ease with who he was and the world around him. She had said she had felt those things with Nathaniel and that it was boring, but it was far from boring to Anders. Feeling safe was something he had never experienced in his life before he met her. At the age of four when his mother had discovered that he had magic she had made him promise to never use it or he would be taken away. From that day on, Anders had lived in fear, he never felt safe, all sense of security stripped away. At that young age, he began to hide who he was, always afraid that someone would discover his secret, never allowing anyone to see who he truly was.

The tower had been no better. It was hardly a safe haven. The abuses that he had experienced and witnessed there only reinforced the fear he had felt all of his life, but Willa had changed that. Without reservations she accepted him, she loved him, opened herself up to him and for the first time in his life he knew what true contentment and peace was. Once he left Highever, he may never know that feeling again, but he was grateful that for a short period of time in his life he had experienced it.

Anders had been so lost in thoughts that he hadn't seen Nathaniel guiding Willa over into the darkened alcove he was hidden in until her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw that they were only a few feet away. Desperately, he looked around for a place to escape, but there was none. He sank back against the stone wall trying to further conceal himself. He wished he knew a chameleon charm. He needed to make a mental note to add that to his arsenal.

Nathaniel lead her over to bench directly in front of him. From this vantage point, Anders could see Willa's beautiful face reflected perfectly in glow of the bonfire. Maker, he ached for her, ached to hold her, to touch her, to have her staring at him with the same curious gaze that she was now giving Nathaniel.

Howe took her hand in his as he looked up into her eyes. "Willa, we have known each other most of our lives. I have watched you transform before my very eyes from a pesky little girl..."

"Pesky!" Willa exclaimed. Anders smiled and shook his head. It was so like Willa to interrupt a romantic moment.

Nathaniel laughed. "If you would be patient I promise my little speech gets better. I've been practicing."

Anders smile immediately faded...speech...practicing...Maker, no! You can't be serious! Nathaniel was about to propose and Anders was forced to stand there and listen to another man propose marriage to the woman he loved. So much for his run of good luck.

Willa smiled tenderly at Nathaniel. "I'm sorry, Nate. Please continue."

"Thanks...and just for the record you were a pesky little kid, but I watched you grow up and transform into a beautiful and fascinating young woman. Willa, everytime I'm around you I find something new and amazing about you."

From the illumination of the flames, Anders could see Willa's cheeks begin to burn a crimson red.

"Nate..."

"Please Will, let me get this out..." he said as he drew in a deep breath. "Over the past couple of years we have grown very close..." a sly smile spread across his face and it was obvious that a memory was playing in his mind.

"...You know that when I return to Amaranthine that my father is sending me the Free Marshes for the next couple of years. It would make the time away from home so much easier if I knew that I had you to come home to."

Willa's eyes narrowed on Nathaniel. "What are you asking me, Nate?"

"I-I love you, Willa. We are a good match. I want to come home to you and make you my wife," Nathaniel declared.

From the shock on her face Willa definitely wasn't expecting this. Anders didn't know how she didn't see this coming. She had admitted to him that her and Nathaniel were somewhat involved. It was obvious that Nathaniel had feelings for her. Both of them were nobles from well respected families. It made sense. On paper they were perfect for each other, but Willa's words from the other day still rang in his ears and he knew she was going to turn him down.

"_I want to spend the rest of my life with someone that ignites a spark in me that lights up my very soul. I want someone that truly sees me, understands me and doesn't want to change me. I want someone that makes my knees go weak with just a glance, who steals my breath away when he walk into a room, someone who understands me better than I understand myself at times and whose very presence brings me peace. I want to be with someone not because its easy or convenient...I've found those things in you, Anders."_

Willa clasped her free hand over top of Nathaniel's as she smiled warmly up at him. "Nate, you are my oldest and dearest friend and I do love you, but not the way you want me too. I will be anxiously waiting for your return home, but it can't be as your future wife. I'm sorry."

"Willa, I know that you have feelings for me. I know that they go beyond the bonds of friendship. If you didn't, you wouldn't have reacted the way you did to my touch...your body craving and wanting more..."

Jealousy and anger surged through Anders so quickly that it shook him to his very core, shocking him. Willa had hinted that her and Nathaniel had been intimate, but he was now wondering just how far she had gone with him.

"Nate, I do have feelings for you...and the time that we've spent together was wonderful, but that doesn't mean that I'm ready to get married or even become betrothed."

"We are a good match, Will."

"I want more than a good match, Nate. You can't plan to fall in love. It either happens or doesn't..."

"If you just give us a chance, Willa, it could happen."

Willa tenderly cupped Nathaniel's face in her hands. "Nate, I don't know what the future holds or where this life might lead me, but this is what I can promise you; when you return I will be here, as your oldest and dearest friend to welcome you home with open arms, an open mind and a open heart."

Nathaniel gave a quick nod before he turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand that still held his face. "I guess that is all I can ask for right now."

"I'm sorry, Nate, that I can't promise you more."

"I wish I could say that I understood, but I honestly don't. After the time that we spent together this summer I thought this was the direction that our relationship was heading. I don't understand what changed, what happened to us."

Willa turned her head away from Nathaniel toward the direction where he stood. Anders could see the glistening tears in her eyes and pained expression on her face...he happened. He had entered her life and changed it forever. Because of his selfish need to be near her he unknowingly changed the course of her life. Tyce had tried to warn him, but he had been too foolish and stubborn to listen.

She just shook her head as the tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Nate...I'm so sorry. You are the last person I would ever want to hurt."

Nathaniel pulled her into his arms, kissed the top of her forehead as he whispered, "It's okay, Will. You feel what you feel and no one can change that. Yes, I want you. Yes, I want to be with you, but I also want you to want to be with me too. I deserve that. So I'm willing to wait and when I return we will see where our relationship leads us."

Anders had to admire the man's pose, confidence and self awareness. He honestly didn't think he would have been so calm if he had been on the receiving side of Willa's rejection.

"I don't deserve you," she whispered.

Nathaniel laughed as he pulled away from her. "Well, there is something we both agree on."

She chuckled, but remained silent.

"Are you ready to head back to the party?" He asked.

She shook her head. "No, I need a few minutes to collect myself, but you can head back. I'll join you shortly."

Nathaniel nodded then stood and returned to the celebration. Willa watched him walk away then she turned towards where he stood in the shadows. "You can come out now, Anders," she said softly.

Anders stepped out of the shadows eyes wide with stunned disbelief. "How did you know?"

"Any rogue worth a damn knows when someone is hiding in the shadows. Did you enjoy watching that little drama playing out in front of you?" She asked with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"Willa, I didn't intentionally stay to listen to your conversation. I had been watching the festivities from here when Nathaniel led you over. By the time I realized that he was about to propose it was a little too late to make my presence known."

"It's your fault," she said in a whisper that was barely audible.

"I know," he replied.

"If I hadn't met you, I would have been happy and content with Nate."

"I know," he said again.

"But you changed everything. You showed me what it meant, how it felt to truly fall in love and what true heartbreak feels like. I've experienced a lot of first with you, Anders. I guess I should be grateful."

Anders stepped closer to her. "Wills, I never meant to hurt you..."

"No, you only intended for me to be another notch on your staff," she accused.

"That isn't true and you know it! I told you from the very beginning that we could only be friends..."

"And then you even took that from me!"

"Because I realized after that day under the tree that we will never be truly friends. We will always want and need more from each other and I have nothing to offer you."

"Anders, don't you understand. I don't care that you can't offer me wealth, a title or a better station. What you can offer me is a life of unspeakable love, joy and passion..."

"Try living off of those things, Willa and you find yourself sleeping in caves with an empty belly most of the nights," Anders retorted bitterly.

"Anders, you can live here. Tyce is getting older. He is going to need someone to stay on and help him even after the plague is over..."

Anders laughed sardonically as he shook his head. "You are so naive, Wills..." Anders ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Don't you get it. I can't stay. I am a wanted man, an apostate and the only reason your father is allowing me to stay is because the plague is too big for one mage to handle, but once its over I have to go because the Templars will come looking for me and there will be nothing your father can do to stop them from dragging me back to the tower."

Willa stared at him astonished. "An apostate?"

"Yes," he spat. "Are you starting to get a clear picture of the situation? We can never be together because I have to leave you or face going back to that prison...And as much as it pains me to walk away from you, I can't go back, Willa...I just c-can't," Anders voice broke. He closed his eyes trying to compose himself.

He felt her arms go around his neck as she pulled him into her warm embrace. He hesitated knowing he didn't deserve to take comfort in her, but he didn't have the strength to deny himself this simple pleasure. He relaxed against her, his arms slipped around her waist as he buried his head into the crook of her neck breathing her in. She smelled of Highever Jasmine and spices. A scent that was so uniquely her and so delicious. Her fingers twisted into his hair and gently pulled him back so that she could look at him while her other hand lovingly stroked his cheek.

"Anders, I understand that you were trying to spare us the pain of our inevitable separation, but don't you see we are both still in pain now and we don't have to be. The plague could end tomorrow or it could end a year from now. We could be miserable during that time trying to fight this bond that is between us or we can give into it, enjoy the time that we have together, knowing that it won't last for ever, but cherishing every moment that we do have."

He stared at her, amazed by her insight and wisdom. "You're father..."

"My father loves me, he is concerned for my well being. I will make him understand that for now, for this brief period of time in my life, you are what is best for my well being."

Anders groaned. "The man is going to hate me."

"He won't be happy with either one of us, but I don't believe you will loose your head over this," she teased.

"What?"

She grinned at him. "Just kidding, my father has never had a man beheaded before, drawn and quartered, maybe..."

"You aren't funny, Wills."

"My father has always allowed Fergus and I to make all the major decisions in our lives on our own. I'm not asking to marry you, Anders. I'm asking for a temporary reprieve from my noble duties to enjoy some frivolous time with one very, sexy mage."

"Sexy, huh?" Anders chuckled as his hand slid up to the nape of her neck pulling her to him.

"Stop fishing for compliments," she sighed just before he captured her lips with his.

* * *

**Thank you everyone that has added this story to their favs and alert lists. It warms my heart to know that you are enjoying my little tale. A huge shout out to everyone who took the time to write review; your thoughts and opinions bring a smile to my face. **


	6. Chapter 6 Teenage Dream

**Chapter 5 - Teenage Dream**

"My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch, now baby I believe

This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love

We can dance until we die, you and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

The way you turn me on, I can't sleep

Let's runaway and don't ever look back, don't ever look back"

_Teenage Dream by Katy Perry_

Willa paced nervously outside her father's study door. It had been a week since the festival, a week since Anders had agreed that the two of them could now be together, but he had refused to even be alone with her until she talked with her father. Unfortunately, her father had been extremely busy meeting with the nobles of the Teryn as they discussed their upcoming plans for the winter. In order to actually see her own father she had to make an appointment with his chancellor.

Willa didn't know why she was so anxious. She talked with her father about everything, this wouldn't be any different. She drew in a deep breath and knocked. A moment later the door swung open and her father stood there beaming her. "Pup! Imagine my surprise when I saw on my daily schedule that I have a full hour with my favorite daughter."

She smirked at him. "I'm your only daughter."

"Yes, but if I had more I am almost a hundred percent certain you would be my favorite."

She raised an eyebrow. "Almost a hundred percent?"

"Well, its hard to be certain when it such an unknown," he chuckled as he slid his arm around her shoulder and led her down the corridor through a doorway that opened up into a beautifully landscaped oasis. "Its such a beautiful fall day, and I have been cooped up in my study all morning I thought it might be nice to take a stroll in the gardens."

"You just don't want Mother interrupting with questions about her Twelfth Night preparations."

Bryce laughed. "You know me too well, my dear. So I hear through the grapevine that Nathaniel asked you to be his betrothed and you turned him down."

"Fergus, needs to learn to keep his mouth shut," she retorted.

"It wasn't Fergus, Willa. It was Nathaniel. He had asked me for permission when he had escorted you back to Highever this summer and I told him that if you would have him I would be honored to welcome him to the family. You have known him all of your life, I have watched the two of you grow closer over the past few years. I thought betrothal was the next logical step. What happened, Willa?"

Willa collected her thoughts before she responded. "Dad, when you knew Mother was the one was there any logic in the decision to ask her to be your wife?"

Bryce smiled at his daughter. "Logic rarely enters into the equation where true love is concerned."

Willa smiled brightly at her father. "Exactly! Nate is the logical choice...but I don't want to be rational. I want what you have with Mother. I want the man I'm with to cause me to have butterflies in my stomach just anticipating seeing him, a man who takes my breath away when he looks at me, a man who makes me weak in the knees when he holds me."

"And you feel that you have found that with Anders?" Her father asked.

Willa's head shot up looking at her father. "You know?"

Bryce smiled tenderly at her. "I see the way that the two of you look at each other. Its obvious that both of you care very deeply for one another. However, Willa he's a mage and not just any mage, but an apostate. Once the plague is over the Chantry will come for him. You have no future with him."

"I know...I know he will have to leave...he will have to run, but I would rather spend what little time he has left here in Highever together than being miserable trying to stay away from each other."

Bryce shook his head. "Don't you see that becoming more emotionally attached to him is only going to bring you further heartache."

"I'm already emotionally involved with him, Dad. My feelings for him aren't going to go away if you insist that I don't see him. If anything it's only going to make me want to be with him even more."

Her father narrowed his eyes on her. "You're going to try and pull the forbidden fruit card on me, aren't you?"

Willa gave him a sly smile. "Well, if I remember the story correctly, Mother was your forbidden fruit. Being the youngest of four daughters, her father refused to allow her to marry you until her sisters were wed and you spent two years playing match maker all of over Ferelden before grandfather allowed the two of you to become betrothed. I'm not asking to marry Anders, Dad. I'm just asking for some time to enjoy being with him"

Bryce let out a long frustrated sigh. "You will have to be very discreet about this. Even though I sympathize with the mages plight that doesn't mean that everyone does and very few people will accept the Teryn's daughter having a relationship with a mage. I am very serious about this, Wilhelmina. There can't be even a hint of impropriety between the two of you in front of others. Do I make myself perfectly clear, young lady?"

"Yes Father, I understand."

"And no more unchaperoned horseback riding trips. From now on take Fergus with you."

"What? You have got to be kidding?"

"No I'm not, if the servants see Fergus leaving with the two of you there will be no gossip about there being an inappropriate relationship. There will be no need for the Chantry to come out any sooner and investigate."

"Fergus is going to love this! I'll never hear the end of it!"

Bryce laughed. "That is something you are going to have to work out with your brother. You wanted a reprieve from your noble duties. well I'm giving it to you, but these are my conditions. Take it or leave it."

"Fine," she grumbled. Then kissed her father's cheek. "Thank you, Daddy."

He smiled affectionately at his daughter. "You knew I would eventually cave in."

She grinned back at him. "But you put up such an admirable fight at first."

"I'm getting soft in my old age," he grunted as they headed back toward the castle.

**xxXxx**

A month later Willa and Anders, accompanied Fergus, Rory, Willa's best friend at Highever, Ser Ulric and Ser Robert on a hunt to help prepare the castle and village for the winter months. As they approached a fork in the road that went in three different directions Fergus halted the party. "Ulric and Robert, the two of you can take the path on the right. Rory and I will take the center path and Willa and Anders can take the path on the left," he instructed.

"Can someone explain to me again why we brought a mage? How is he going to be of any use?" Ulric asked.

"I can freeze the prey..." Anders started to say.

"And I can kill them," Willa finished.

"That freezing thing is bloody useful, isn't it?" Rory chuckled.

"Yes, it has been known to save my life on a few occasions," Anders replied.

"Yes, well let's go and happy hunting, Anders," Fergus said with a wink.

"I'm sure it will be," Anders grinned in return.

They had walked about several hundred yards down the path before Anders took Willa by the hand dragged her off the trail deeper into the woods, pushed her against a tree and pressed into her as his lips caressed the side of her neck. "Maker, I thought I was never going to get you alone," he whispered as kissed his way down her neck.

"Being near you and not able to touch you was driving me insane," he moaned against the hollow base of her neck before he nipped at her collarbone.

Willa's fingers twisted into his hair as her head fell back against the tree. "I wanted to smack Fergus in the head for that comment about hunting," she sighed.

Anders chuckled as he pulled the laces of her tunic open and ran his tongue over the swells of her breasts. "Is it really hunting when your prey is so willing?"

She lifted her head and grinned at him, "Would you prefer I put up more of resistance?"

"No, we can play the horny mage and helpless damsel some other time," he sighed as his hand slid inside her tunic, under breast band and caressed the taut nipples.

For her reply, her hands slid around his neck and grasped the soft tendrils at the nape of his neck pulling him to her. She captured his mouth –hard, deep and oh, so sweet. She swirled her hips slightly, grinding herself against him. He groaned against her lips, sliding between her legs as she ran her hands down his back to his arse and pushed him against her.

Anders slid his hands around her sides to her hips, lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he surged against her core, she moaned as her fingers fisted into his hair. Marker's arse, he felt fantastic!

"Anders...again...please," she panted and he did as she requested. He grabbed her hips, and thrust against her repeatedly.

"Maker, yesss!"

His hips surged forward, his cock demanding to be in her, but stopped by the barrier of their clothes, still he thrust against her over and over again. The movement of her hips quickened against him, becoming erratic as she skipped along the precipice, teetering on the ledge of ecstasy.

Anders brought his hand back up, pulled her tunic and breast band down, exposing her breasts to his hungry eyes. "Beautiful," groaned as he lowered his head and pulled the pert nub into his mouth. His tongue swirled and licked at it as fingers caressed and tugged at the other one.

"You taste like sin," he growled.

She cupped his face, forcing him to look up at her. She smiled lovingly at him. "And how does sin taste?"

"Delicious."

"I'll have to ask Nan to put that on the dinner menu," she chuckled as she pulled him to her and captured his mouth once again.

Anders slid his hand between them and sent out a strong vibration straight into her core, as he sucked on her earlobe between his lips and gently nipped at it. Her mouth fell open, but no sound came out as the cry died in her throat when he sent another stronger pulse into her; pure ecstasy ripped through her body as she finally plunged over the edge, coming apart in his arms. Anders captured her mouth before she cried out, swallowing her sobs of release as she trembled against him.

He moaned against her lips, his body shook as the orgasm ripped through him. Her mouth still pressed against his, silencing his cry of pleasure, his body shook with pleasure. He pulled away from her, burying his head in the crook of her neck, panting hard.

Once both of them had caught their breath and cleared their heads, Anders released her legs and eased her back down to the ground. He took off his coat, laid it on the ground near the tree, sat down on it and then pulled her down into his lap. She nuzzled against his neck breathing him in.

"You smell delicious," she murmured as she tenderly planted kisses against his skin.

"Oh and what do I smell like?"

She inhaled another deep breath. "Spices..." she sniffed again. "Herbs...magic..."

"Magic has a scent?" Anders asked.

"It does on you. Its a little sweet, but it as a distinct woodsy, earthy smell..." she nuzzled him again breathing in. "...there is also a scent I don't recognize. It's musky...salty...like the ocean...maybe mixed in with a slight hint of sweat, but not the stinky been fighting in the sparring ring kind of sweat. This is more alluring."

He grinned at her. "And do you like that scent?"

She smiled back at him. "Yes, its enticing."

"That's the sweet smell of sex, my dear."

"But we didn't have sex."

"Not the complete act, but our bodies still respond the same way and trust me when done properly with no clothes used as barriers, the scent is stronger and even more delicious," Anders mused as he tenderly tucked a hair behind her ear.

"And when do we get to experience that?" She inquired innocently.

Anders shook his head. "Wills, we have talked about this. I will show you what pleasures I can without taking your innocence. You need to save that for the man you marry..."

"But..."

"No, I mean it. I won't be the one to take that from you." He tenderly kissed her lips to silence the protest that was forming there. When he eventually pulled away he grinned at her. "So you never told me what you had to promise Fergus for him to agree to be our _**chaperone**_."

"Oh its nothing really and I've yet to fulfill my end of the bargain. He is doing these little hunting excursions out of the generosity of his tiny heart," she chuckled.

"Well, what is the bargain?"

"I'll tell once I've completed it."

Anders narrowed his eyes on her and she knew he was about to question her more thoroughly. She braced herself for the onslaught of his inquire when she heard the faint rustle of the trees behind them. She held up her hand to silence him. She heard it again, but this time it was louder and the sound of cracking limbs accompanied it. Anders heard it too, the two of them leapt to their feet and both of them grabbed for their weapons.

Willa sucked in her breath as the vilest creatures she had ever seen crashed through the trees into their clearing. "Maker's arse, what the hell is that?"

"Darkspawn. I've seen pictures of them in tomes at the Circle," Anders replied as he cast a glyph of repulsion around both of them just as three monsters began to advance on them.

"Darkspawn? In Highever? Bloody hell!" Willa ranted as she charged forward, her blades in her outstretched hands slicing into the two tall beasts, but they remained standing. Anders cast a cone of cold at the two creatures, but his mana was draining rapidly from trying to hold the glyphs and only one of the darkspawn froze in place. The second creature was moving slower, but it still continued to advance toward him. Willa whirled around, driving her dagger into the back of the advancing beast, driving him to the ground. She flung herself on top it, pulled her dagger out and then drove it back down once again. She looked up at him, excitement from the fight pumping through her, but her smile quickly changed to shock when she saw the third creature approaching him from behind. "Anders look out!"

The small darkspawn had flanked Anders' back, he whirled around just in time to bring his staff up to stop the blow from the its blade. Anders threw a fireball at it then jumped back so that he had room to fight.

The spell was wearing off the first darkspawn that Anders had frozen and it began to move toward her. Using the shadows to evade its attack, Willa swiftly maneuvered behind it and dealt a backstabbing blow. The beast stumbled and fell to its knees, Willa came behind, slid her arm around its neck, pulled its head back as she sliced open its neck with her blade. She released her grip on it and it collapsed to the ground, she spun to check on Anders.

The darkspawn was dead at his feet and he stood there grinning at her, "Deadly and beautiful, what a wicked combination."

Her eyes sparkled with delight and she winked at him. "That was fun."

"Fun? Killing these disgusting creatures is your idea of good time? I guess that's good to know. If I ever run out date ideas I can always take you on a romantic stroll through the Deep..." his sentence was interrupted as a mammoth monster crashed through the trees.

"An ogre," Willa whispered as her eyes went wide with shock. She had heard stories about these monsters, but seeing one now live and up close she was temporarily paralyzed with fear. Anders was closest to the beast as it entered the clearing and the ogre grabbed him in its brutish hand.

"Anders!" Willa cried out, her fear evaporating as instinct took over. With her blades still in her hands, she charged at the beast, leapt into the air, driving her sword and dagger into the sides of the fiend's neck. The creature released Anders and staggered as it tried to swat at her, but she was too quick for it. She withdrew her dagger and used the sword that was still in the ogre's neck as leverage, pulling herself up to the beast's shoulder. The ogre cried out in pain as its flesh tore from her weight. Once on the beast's shoulder she drove the dagger into the back of its neck. The monster lurched forward and fell dead on the spot. Willa jumped off the ogre and rolled to her feet just as it crashed to the ground.

Anders stood there staring at her with a combination of horror, shock and admiration. From behind her there was a loud clapping sound, Willa spun as a man with brown a beard, and long, brown hair that was pulled back from his face walked toward them applauding with each step he took. The stranger wore impressive silverite armor that had a griffon embroidered on his sleeve. "Truly impressive my Lady. Most would coward in fear when faced with two hurlocks, a genlock and an ogre, but I see that you effectively and efficiently dispatched them, leaving me very little to do. Good thing I have job security with the Grey Wardens," he chuckled as he looked around at the carnage that was before him.

Willa felt her cheeks begin to burn from the complement. "Well, I did have help," Willa replied as she turned to look at Anders.

"I see that; two very deadly soldiers," the Warden replied.

"Don't get any bright ideas, Duncan," Fergus said as he emerged from behind the man with Rory. "My father won't be happy to hear that you are interested in his dear, little Pup as a recruit."

"It would be a shame to let such talent go to waste. Both of them are very impressive" the man replied.

"Well, if you want Anders you will have to take that up with Circle..."

"Why do I feel like a piece of prime meat being auctioned off to the highest bidder?" Anders grunted.

"As for my sister, I would give her to you for two bits if it were up to me, but I think Father might be a bit put out. Don't you agree, Will?" Fergus chuckled.

"Two bits! Pathetic! You definitely need to work on your negotiating techniques, brother, I'm easily worth a whole sovereign," Willa teased as she turned to the stranger and held out her hand. "I'm Willa. And you are?"

The man smiled kindly at her as he shook her hand. "I'm Duncan, Commander of the Ferelden Grey Wardens. Its a pleasure to meet you, my Lady."

"A Grey Warden, here in Highever," Willa muttered completely impressed. "I take it you're here because of these darkspawn."

"Well, not just these particular darkspawn. If that were the case I would say that you have done my job for me, " Duncan chuckled as he turned back toward Fergus. "You're father sent word to me that there had been several darkspawn sightings in the remote areas of the terynship; near the areas that have been hardest hit with the plague."

Anders eyes went wide as comprehension dawned on him. "The plague...is it actually Blight Sickness."

"I can't say for sure until I examine the bodies of the recently deceased and those who are currently infected, but from the descriptions that Tyce gave I believe that may be the cause of the plague. Blight Sickness is a fast moving infection. When not properly isolated and treated it can wipe out an entire village in a matter of days."

"I thought darkspawn only appear on the surface when there is a Blight," Willa questioned.

"Typically that is the case. However, there have been incidents in the past where there has been a fission in the barrier between the Deep Roads and the surface and the darkspawn have emerged. That is another reason why I am here. I need find that opening and close it."

"So we aren't on the brink of a Blight?" Rory asked.

Duncan smiled at the boy. "Darkspawn activity has not increased to a point that I would be concerned about a Blight just yet. I believe this is an isolated incident."

"Well, that's a relief. A blight would put a real damper on Mother's Twelfth Night celebration," Fergus chuckled.

"Yes and dealing with her wrath over that would be worse than a Blight itself," Willa amused.

Duncan turned to Fergus. "I need to dispose of these bodies..."

"We can help you," Fergus offered.

"Thank you, my Lord, but you have been exposed enough to the taint. There are a few other Wardens in these woods with me. They can help me clean up this mess. Please let your father know that when I finish my investigation I will come to the Castle to see him," Duncan replied.

Fergus nodded. "Of course I will let him know. We will let you get to your work, but if you should need any supplies, please don't hesitate to stop by the Castle before you head out."

"Thank you. Your generosity is touching, but we should have enough provision until we return," Duncan replied.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Duncan," Willa said.

He smiled tenderly at her. "No my Lady, the pleasure was all mine. I have seen the destructive results of your blade, but while I'm at Highever I hope that I will have the opportunity to witness it first hand."

"I would be honored," she replied.

"Watch out, Will, Duncan might conscript you right here," Fergus teased.

"It would be an honor to be considered worthy of the Wardens," Willa stated.

"Don't tempt me Lady Cousland, your father would have my arse if I conscripted you," Duncan said.

"Well, we certainly don't want that," Willa replied as she turned to leave.

"You really would want to join the Grey Wardens?" Anders whispered in her ear.

"I think it would be an honor to fight against these evil creatures for the betterment of all mankind," Willa replied.

She felt Anders eyes on her and she turned to look at him. There was love and admiration shining through them. "You amaze me."

She smiled at him. "Well I think you are pretty amazing yourself."

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. I run from what I fear because I can't change it. Somehow, I doubt you would. You would find a way to fight."

"Anders, right now there is nothing you can do, but run. The Circle, the Chantry are bigger than you, bigger than all of us. Knowing when you are out numbered and pulling back is a wise decision not a cowardly one. It let's you live to fight another day."

As they walked, Anders slid his arm around her waist, pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"I know what you're doing right now is about to deserve this chaperone's boot on your ass, mage," Fergus chuckled from behind.

"Here, I got what you deserve, brother," Willa said as she spun back towards him holding up three of her fingers.

Fergus gave her a smirk. "Aaaah, I'm sorry I don't understand finger speak. What are you trying to say exactly, Will?"

Rory laughed. "Read between the lines, Fergus."

Her brother burst out laughing. "Yes, you're right I do deserve that and thank the Maker for the Orlesian beauty I have waiting at home for me. I believe I will be late for dinner tonight."

"Gross, that is the last thing I need to be thinking about," Willa groaned.

"Oh, like I want to think about Anders and his magical pumping staff," Fergus retorted.

"It is magical," Anders chuckled as he gave Willa a wink.

"At least you don't have to face Anders at the dinner table and keep a straight face," Willa snapped.

"No, but I do have to see him the rest of the day and knowing that he is defiling my sister doesn't help me keep a straight face either."

"I am not defiling your sister!" Anders exclaimed defensively.

"You're not! Well, then all of these bloody hunting trips have been a real waste of time," Fergus chuckled as they walked into the courtyard.

* * *

**Thank to everyone that has as added this story to their alert and favorites list. I also want to thank those that have left such amazing and thoughtful reviews. The bad thing about reviews is that you crave more. They are like crack. So please continue to feed my addiction.**


	7. Chapter 7 Wicked Game

**I have to say, I am very excited about this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Wicked Game**

"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you.

No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)

No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)

With you (This world is only gonna break your heart)

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.

What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.

What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,

I want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)

No, I want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart) With you.

_Wicked Game by Chris Isaak_

Anders stood beside Duncan at the rail of the training ring watching Willa and Fergus spar. The Commander watched in fascination as the siblings went at each without reservation. Willa hadn't sparred against her brother since Anders had met her five months earlier and it was obvious that she had been working hard to improve her skills ever since. Several of her newer moves had taken Fergus by complete surprise and she had him against the rails on more than one occasion, but it didn't take her brother long to recover and go on the offensive. He bent low, swung his sword at her knees, she jumped high in the air and the blade passed under her. When she landed, she pivoted, swung her leg around driving it into his chest, Fergus stumbled backwards, not giving him to time to recover Willa charged forward, knocking him to the ground. Gasping for breath, Fergus rolled over only to face the pointy end of Willa sword as she rested her foot on his chest in order to keep him place.

"Fantastic," Duncan muttered.

"She is amazing to watch. So agile and light on her feet. It's rare to see a rogue so talented at such a young age," the Warden on Duncan's other side muttered.

"Training will make you an great fighter, but training and natural ability will make you deadly," Duncan replied.

Fergus burst out laughing. "I knew this day would come, little sister, when my skills were finally outmaneuvered by your luck. Now, give me a hand up," he said as he reached up to grab her hand, but Willa kept her foot firmly planted on his chest.

"Luck...you think that was luck, Fergus. Luck had nothing to do with it. I was quicker, more strategic and better skilled than you and that Big Brother is why you are laying on the flat of your back staring up at my sword. Now, admit that I beat you fair and square or we can stand here all day like this."

He smirked back at her. "Eventually your arm is going to get tired."

She grinned back at him. "You're so right. Kismet, come here girl."

Fergus' eyes went wide. "You wouldn't."

The marbari bounded over to them. "Kismet, don't let Fergus get up until I tell you to release him. I don't care how many stew bones he promises you. Understand?"

Kismet firmly planted her huge front paws on Fergus' chest and bayed. Willa smiled. "Good girl."

Anders, Duncan and the other Warden burst out laughing.

"Will, you can't be serious?" Fergus complained as he stared up at the massive warhound.

Willa just shook her head unapologetically. "All you had to do was admit that I was the better fighter, but you allowed your foolish pride to stand in the way. As Father always says, for every action there is a reaction. This one is yours."

Then she turned and headed over to where they stood.

"You can't leave me here, Sister," Fergus called out.

Willa ignored him as she walked over to the three of them. "Most impressive, Lady Cousland. You are definitely a force to be reckoned with," Duncan said.

"Thank you, Commander. That's high praise coming from you," Willa replied.

"Might I make a suggestion in your technique?" Duncan inquired.

"Of course, please do."

"I noticed just before you go on the offensive you drop your sword shoulder slightly weakening your right side. To most opponents that will go unnoticed, but to a skilled fighter or to someone who spars against you regularly its a weakness they can use to their advantage. You would have won that fight a lot sooner if Fergus hadn't exploited that flaw," Duncan advised.

"Whose side are you on, Duncan?" Fergus called from behind them as he tried and failed to wiggle out from under Kismet.

Duncan chuckled. "I'm on no one's side. I'm just trying to make a skilled fighter even more accomplished."

"Thank you, I'm glad someone is looking out for my well being."

"Lady Cousland, I don't believe I have had a chance to introduce you to my latest recruit," Duncan turned to the Warden beside him. "Alistair, this is Lady Cousland."

Willa stepped forward, extended her hand to shake his, but Alistair took her hand, bowed and then kissed her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, my Lady."

"It's just Willa," she said with a smile.

He shyly returned the smile. "Okay just Willa."

She giggled. She actually giggled. Anders couldn't recall ever hearing her giggle.

"I have to admit, your skills in the sparring ring are very impressive. You don't find that very often in..." his voice trailed off as if he were stopping himself from continuing his train thought and Anders noticed the color on his cheek begin to deepen.

A sly grin played on the corners of her lips as she noticed the Warden's reddening cheeks and realized where the Warden's thoughts had been heading. "You don't find _what_very often?" She asked with feigned innocence.

"Aaaah, well it rare to find such skill in...hmmm, someone like yourself," Alistair replied nervously.

"Someone like _myself_?" She asked coyly.

"Uhmmm, well you know, someone who..."

"I believe what Alistair is trying to say my Lady, is that such deadly skills are rarely found in one so beautiful," Duncan interjected rescuing the recruits botched attempt at flirting.

Alistair smiled gratefully at his Commander. "Yes, that is what I meant to say."

Willa smiled one of her genuine, radiant smiles that always took his breath away and it seemed to have the same effect on the young Warden too. "Thank you, Alistair," she said then she shifted her gaze to Duncan, "and to you, Duncan. It is my understanding that you will be guests of Highever Castle for our Twelfth Night celebrations. I look forward to getting to know both you better."

Alistair had quickly recovered. "I look forward to it too, my Lady."

"Now, now Alistair if we are to become friends you need to stop calling me that. Please call me Willa or Will."

"I would very much like to be your..."

"If you're done flirting with the Wardens, Will, could please call your dog off," Fergus yelled from behind interrupting Alistair's reply.

"Say it, Fergus," Willa called back.

"Say what?"

As Willa continued her banter with her brother Anders scrutinized the young Warden more closely. He was tall, broad shouldered with meticulously groomed blond hair. Who had time to put that much effort into their hair? Alistair was definitely handsome if you were into the pretty boy types. He also had a shyness about him that was strangely alluring. Anders knew that Willa sensed that too and that she would enjoy teasing him; similar to the way that the two of them had flirtatiously taunted each other when they had first met.

Anders knew it would be innocent on Willa's part. It was just part of her personality. She was flirtatious by nature. He knew he shouldn't be jealous over a man she had just met. He reassured himself how strongly Willa felt for him, how she had given herself to him so openly, how she wanted to give herself completely to him, but knowing those things didn't help the unease he felt toward this Warden.

It also didn't help that Anders couldn't actually lay claim to her, he couldn't announce that she was his so that Alistair would back off. Even if he did manage somehow to stay in Highever he would never be able to have a real relationship with her. He would always be her dirty little secret because as a mage he would never be good enough to show her how much he loved her in public. He closed his eyes briefly trying to rid himself of his dark thoughts.

"Wilhelmina Cousland, I mean it. Call your dog off now," Fergus demanded.

"All you have to do is say it, Fergus."

"Say what?"

Willa grinned wickedly at her brother. "Kismet, give Fergus kisses."

"What? No!" But before he could protest anymore Kismet began to lap at Fergus' face. He tried to push her away, but the warhound was too strong for him. "Ugh, no...make her stop...Willa please."

"Kismet heel." The hundred pound dog stopped licking his face and sat down on Fergus' chest forcing the breath out of him.

"Say it Fergus."

"Fine, you beat me fair and square."

"And?"

"You are a very skilled fighter, Sister, one of the best I've ever seen."

"And?"

"Maker's balls, are you going to make me say everything I've ever made you say?"

"And?" Willa persisted.

"You are better looking, you are smarter, you are more popular, your shite doesn't stink! There are you happy?"

"And?"

Anders heard Fergus breath out a sigh of frustration. "Your mom and dad's favorite and I was adopted."

"And?"

"And my real parents are a troll and an ogre that mated and I am the product of their coupling. I was so ugly even to them that they set out to drown me, but our mother found me, saved me, took pity on me and raised me as her own despite my hideous appearance."

Everyone burst out laughing. "H-he told you that," Alistair stuttered between fits of laughter.

"Those were only the highlights of his torture over the years."

"Well, one look in a mirror and you had to know he was lying," Alistair said then began to blush when he realized the implications of his remarks.

Willa grinned at him.

"Willa, come on," Fergus yelled.

Willa continued to grinned as she called out, "Kismet release!"

The hound immediately leapt off of Fergus and was at Willa's side instantly. Fergus struggled to his feet, wiping the slobber off of his face as he slowly made his over to them. He glared at Willa. "I'm taking your Twelfth Night present back," he grunted as he walked past her making his toward the castle.

Willa laughed. "I'm sure I'll survive somehow without it."

_**xxXxx**_

It was the first night of Twelfth Night. Everyone that lived in Highever Castle, including all the servants and hired help, gathered in the great hall for a night of feasting, storytelling and gift exchanges. The castle was beautifully decorated with holly, evergreen, berries and candles. It smelled wonderful when Anders entered the ballroom. He looked around the room and noticed none of the Cousland had yet to arrive.

Anders leaned toward Tyce, "Where are the Couslands?"

"Its tradition that once everyone arrives that the Couslands led the servants in carrying the food for the feast. This signifies that the feast has begun and that all in the room are equals."

"Equals, you say," Anders repeated.

"Yes, for tonight there is no class. Everyone waits on everyone."

"I like this tradition," Anders replied.

"Its a good one and one that is loved by all."

The horns sounded announcing the arrival of the Teryn's family. The doors were swung open as the Teryn and Teryna made their way into the hall. Fergus followed behind them with his wife on his arm. Behind them was their six year old son who was escorting the most beautiful woman he ever had or ever would lay eyes.

Willa was breathtaking in an emerald green gown with a gold brocade design on the low cut bodice that accented the swells of her breasts and clung tightly to her figure drawing attention to every one of her curves. The dress billowed out at her hips as the loose satin material flowed elegantly around her. The dress had no sleeves and the only thing that was holding the damn, distracting thing up were two slender gold straps that secured the dress in place at the front and back. The green in the dress accented her dark, red hair that she wore in loose curls around her face. As she made her way down the aisle she looked around as if she was searching the crowd for something or someone. When her gaze fell on him her face broke into a radiant grin and her piercing green eyes sparkled with delight.

He felt a poke to his ribs and looked at Tyce. "Breath or else you're going to pass out and I might just leave you on the floor for embarrassing me."

"Well, that's the holiday spirit, old friend," Anders chuckled.

The Teryn and Teryna walked up the dias and turned to face their guests while the rest of the family fanned out on the stairs below. Bryce Cousland stepped forward.

"We are honored to welcome each and everyone of you this evening to celebrate the beginning of this year's Twelfth Night celebrations. It is wonderful to have everyone gathered here to share in the joy and happiness of the season. Over the next twelve days we have plenty of activities planned and there will be lots of feasting and merriment, but we begin the festivities this evening with a tradition that was started with my great grandfather. It has become known as the Feast of Equality. Tonight, everyone here is equals. Tonight there are no nobles, no classes just friend gathered to enjoy each others company while celebrating the holiday season. You will notice that all the food and wine has already been placed on the tables. So if you see your neighbor's wine glass is empty, fill it, if their plate isn't full pass them a tray of meats and share with them a story or two. So enjoy! And have a Merry Twelfth Night!"

A loud cheer went up for the crowd as the Cousland made their way away from the dias and joined their guests at the tables. Anders now truly understood why the people of Highever were so loyal to the Couslands. He doubted there was a more honorable noble family in all of Thedas.

Anders approached Willa and smiled at her. "Will you do me the honor of dining with me this evening?"

She gave him a sly grin. "The honor would be all mine, my dear, sexy mage."

Anders held out his arm, Willa slipped her arm through his and he began to led her towards a table when Alistair approached them. "Willa, I was hoping to join you for dinner this evening."

Anders hand unconsciously tightened around Willa's arm, but she tenderly touched him reassuringly before turning to the young Warden. "I would be delighted if you joined us Alistair."

He gave her a boyish grin as he held out his arm toward her and she slipped her other arm through his. Anders drew in a deep, calming breath as he reminded himself that it was because of this Highever tradition that he was able to even enjoy her company at all this evening.

They found three chairs towards the back of the room and Willa immediately grabbed three bottles of wine. Anders eyes went wide. "Are we expecting a shortage on wine?"

She chuckled as she filled their glasses. "This is the good stuff, once everyone is three sheets to the wind, they switch to the less expensive stuff. I'm not a fan of the less expensive stuff. It gives me a headache."

"Good thinking," Alistair said as he placed some meat and cheeses on both of their plates while Anders pulled off several pieces of bread off the loaf for each of them.

Willa took a sip of her wine and then turned to Alistair. "So how long have you been Warden?"

"About four months. This trip to Highever is actually my first real Warden mission."

"Do you like it?"

"The Wardens or Highever," Alistair asked.

She smirked. "Both."

"Yes, I like both. Highever gets more and more lovelier the longer I stay," he said as he smiled sheepishly at her. "As for being a Warden. I'm an orphan and the Wardens have been the first real family I have ever known."

Willa rested her hand gently on Alistair's arm. "I'm so sorry."

He waved her off nonchalantly. "Honestly, my mother died in childbirth and I never knew my father so its nothing to apologize for."

"Why did you join the Wardens?"

Alistair raised an eyebrow. "You are certainly curious about the Wardens."

"I find your Order noble, honorable and very fascinating."

"We would be the honored ones to have someone such as yourself join our ranks."

"She is a Teryn's daughter. The Wardens are not the life for her," Anders retorted trying to keep his anger out of his voice.

Alistair looked abashed. "Yes, you are correct. The Wardens make a lot of sacrifices and she definitely deserves a long, full and happy life."

Willa's eyes furrowed. "Wardens don't live long, full, happy lives?"

"Aaah, no...what I meant is that we face many dangers on a daily basis so at times that can lead to a short life. As for being happy, I believe we make our own happiness in this world."

She smiled as she raised her glass. "I completely agree. To making our own happiness."

Anders and Alistair raised their glasses. "To making our own happiness."

Anders leaned over and whispered, "I can think of a few ways to make you happy."

She ignored him, but he relished the blush in her cheeks as she continued her conversation with Alistair. "So why did you become a Warden?"

"Well, Duncan found me in the Chantry I was studying to become a Templar..."

"You're a bloody Templar!" Anders exclaimed.

Willa turned to look at him with stunned surprise her eyes furrowing disapprovingly.

"No...I'm not a Templar. I was conscripted before I took my vows," Alistair said defensively.

"But you've trained as one, you're just as brainwashed as they are," Anders retorted struggling to keep the venom from his voice, but failing.

"Look, I knew you were a mage from the moment that I arrived at Highever Castle, but I didn't say anything because I don't have a problem with mages. As a matter of fact, it was the treatment of the mages that made me so miserable in the Circle. That is why Duncan conscripted me."

Anders said nothing just grabbed his wineglass and drained. "I'm sorry, Alistair, but you must understand why Anders is very leary of Templars."

"I do, but please know that I don't hold their point of view with regard to how mages should be treated. There are mages in the Wardens and I respect each and everyone of them as my brothers and sisters."

Before either one of them could answer a bell rang and Willa got to her feet. "Sorry, duty calls. It's gift time."

The Couslands all made their way to the front of room all of the guests stood in line as Fergus and Willa handed each of them a handcraft shot glass which had a Highever toast hand painted on each one. Then the Teryn poured Highever whiskey into each glass while the Teryna gave them a loft of sweet bread. Once everyone had a full glass, Bryce raised his glass, "Here's to a long life and a merry one, a quick death and a easy one, a pretty girl and an honest one, to a cold ale and I'll have another one."

"Slàinte," the crowded roared back.

"What does that mean?" Anders asked.

"Its a saying in Highever. Duncan is from here and he told me that means 'to your good health'," Alistair replied.

"I like that," Anders stated.

"I like a lot of Highever's traditions," Alistair said and Anders nodded in agreement.

The party continued into the wee hours of the morning. Most of the guests had passed out or gone to bed, but Anders was having a delightful conversations with Fergus and Rory about the finer aspects of the Pearl when he noticed Willa make her way up the dias to the pile of gifts. She sifted through them until she found the one that she was looking for. She made her way over to Fergus and sat down beside him.

"Brother."

Fergus raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Sister."

"Are you still angry at me?" She inquired nonchalantly.

"No longer angry...more like perturbed."

"Well, maybe this will help put me back in your good graces," she said as she handed him a wrapped gift.

Fergus took the gift and unwrapped it. A huge smile spread across his face as he stared down at the bottle of brandy that he held. Anders looked at the label. It looked remarkably similar to the one that he had painted for Willa. She said it was a gift for Fergus. However, the label on this bottle looked much older than the one that he had created.

"I hope that you're happy now that you have your perfect set," Rory said and Anders noticed an edge to his voice.

"I'm quite happy actually, Rory. Thanks for asking," Fergus said jovially as he admired the bottle.

Rory's next words froze Anders in place as his heart nearly stopped. "Good because acquiring it almost cost your sister her life. So I truly hope that you will savor that bottle."

"What?" Fergus said the color draining from his face, he turned to face the squire.

"Rory!" Willa hissed through gritted teeth.

"I believe he needs to hear what his precious bottle of brandy nearly cost him," Rory retorted.

"Now is not the time nor the place," Willa replied.

"Now is the perfect time and place..."

"Rory, Anders..."

"Oh, I believe Anders needs to hear this too since you were acquiring the bottle as payment for Fergus to play chaperon for the two of you."

"Why are you doing this?" She asked her voice quivering with anger and fear.

"Because both of them need to know that because of their selfish desires they placed your life in danger. Not to mention its a really great story, up until the point where you got stabbed," Rory stated sardonically.

Anders eyes went wide as anger coursed through him. Not only had she lied to him about the label, but also about the grave wound he had healed on her side two days earlier. He hadn't quite believed the tale that Rory had spun when he had brought her to him nearly dead from loss of blood, but saving her life seemed more important than pointing out the holes in his story. He had intended on questioning her further once she had recovered, but he had become sidetracked with all the celebration preparations.

"Anders didn't ask me to go get that bottle. He had nothing to do with."

"Oh sweetheart, he has everything to do with this. We wouldn't have been in that vault in the first place if it wasn't for the relationship that you have him," Rory paused and looked at Anders. "I have nothing against you. I actually like you and you are an unknowing participant in all of this, but a participant nonetheless and you have every right to know about this. Especially since you're the one that healed her."

"Marker's holy pumping pole, Rory, I'm going to kill you for this," Willa hissed.

"Tell us the story, Rory," Fergus demanded as his eyes looked up at Willa with a mixture of tenderness, anger, pain and regret.

Rory cleared his throat, took a sip of wine and launched into his tale.

_Willa knelt before the vault doors, she pulled her lockpicks out of her breast band and went to work on the lock._

"_Breasts sure come in handy. Who knew you could use them to carry things around in," Rory chuckled from behind her. _

_She rolled her eyes as she looked over her shoulder at her best friend. _

"_Technically, my breasts didn't carry anything. My breast band did."_

"_Yes, but if you didn't have breasts there would be no need for the breast band so you owe the mounds of flesh on your chest for providing the extra luggage space."_

"_Were dropped on your head as a baby?" Willa inquired. _

"_Not that I'm aware of," Rory snickered just as the lock clicked open and the door swung back._

"_I need to ask your mother about that," she said as she put the lockpicks back in her breast band and then led them into the vault._

_Rory let out a low whistle as the torch light lit up the inside of the vault revealing all of the jewels and coins inside. "Bann Howze is doing alright for himself. Maybe we should take a few jewels with us for back taxes. I'm pretty sure he didn't declare all this to your father."_

"_We are here for the brandy and that's all. So don't get sticky fingers now," Willa retorted._

"_Brandy, she's a fine girl, what a good wife she would be," Rory deadpanned._

_Willa rolled her eyes. "Yes, I believe it was repeated drops on the head."_

"_And why is this brandy so important again?"_

"_There were only twenty bottles of the stuff made by some Count in Antiva and there are only five bottles of the stuff left in all of Thedas. Fergus owns four of them, but four isn't good enough for my brother he wants a perfect set..."_

"_So these bottles are sorta priceless," Rory interjected. _

"_You could say that," Willa said absentmindedly as she scoured the room looking for the bottle. She spotted in the rear corner a bottle rack and she swiftly made her way over to it. _

"_So why doesn't your brother just make Howze an offer he can't refuse?"_

"_Fergus did at the Fall Harvest Festival and Howze did find a way to refused. I personally think that he just likes holding something over Fergus' head," Willa said as she pulled several bottles out of the rack, but didn't find the one she wanted. She looked around and under a glass case saw the priceless bottle. She walked over to it._

"_Well, when this bottle goes missing won't Fergus be the first person he suspects?"_

_A mischievous grin spread across her face as she reached for her bag and pulled out an identical bottle with matching label. Rory raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"_

"_A bottle of brandy from my father's liquor cabinet. I removed the label and had Anders paint a label matching the Count's brandy label. So when the Bann comes down to inspect his booty he won't realize his precious brandy is gone."_

"_Does Anders know why he was painting that label?"_

"_I told him its a gift for Fergus. Technically, it is and that's all he needs to know."_

"_Whatever happened to honesty in a relationship?"_

_Willa let out a sigh as she lifted the glass case and examined the pedestal that the bottle sat on. "Look, Anders already feels guilty about this arrangement with Fergus, I don't want to make him feel worse by telling him I had to become a thief in order to pay off my pimp."_

_Rory burst out laughing. "Pimp Daddy Fergus, it has a nice ring to it."_

_Willa laughed. "Don't call him that or I'll never hear the end of it. He'll have signs made up saying, 'Pimpin' ain't easy'."_

_Willa held the fake bottle in her left hand as her right gently grasped the priceless one._

"_What are you doing?" Rory asked._

"_This pedestal has a spring mechanism in it and I believe the weight of the bottle keeps the device from activating."_

"_Activating! Activating what?"_

_She grinned at him her eyes dancing with delight. "Oh, I don't know. Its definitely some kind of trap."_

"_What! What kind of trap?"_

"_I don't know, Rory. Maybe the whole room fills with water, or with a poisonous gas. If it were me, I would have thousands of deadly spiders fill the room killing the would be thief."_

"_Are you crazy, Will? Just leave the damn thing. Tell Fergus to come get it himself."_

"_Relax Rory. This is the fun part. Now, be quiet and let me concentrate." _

_Once again, she held the fake bottle in her left hand as her right gently grasped the priceless one. She took a deep breath then she rolled the priceless bottle off the pedestal while she simultaneously rolled the imposture onto it. Willa stood up and waited a moment. When nothing happened smiled at him as she placed the bottle in her bag. "Damn I'm good," she chuckled._

_"Will, your as sneaky as the dark of night and sly as a wolf. You're nickname should be the Dark Wolf." _

_"I like that. I'm going to have to remember that one," she said with grin as she stepped away from the pedestal. _

_There was a loud click, she glanced down and realized too late that she was standing on a pressure plate. Before she could even react a large spear shot across the room piercing her side. She cried out in pain as she staggered back, but she managed to remained on her feet. _

_She stifled the slew of curse words that were flying out of her mouth with her hand as she looked around the room devising a plan as she tried to ignore the excruciating pain in her side. She looked over at Rory and the black tunic he was wearing. She pulled out her dagger and handed it to him. "I need you to cut your shirt into long strips..."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_Because when you pull this spear out, I'm going to bleed like a sieve unless you stop the bleeding and I'm going to bleed to death before you can get me to Anders."_

"_Well then I suggest you leave the damn spear in until we get there."_

"_Listen to me Rory and stop arguing with me. You're wasting time. I didn't just get stabbed in the gut to walk away empty handed. I'm taking that bottle with me and the only way to do that is to reset the pressure plate. I don't see a spare spear laying around anywhere so you're going to have to use this one."_

"_Maker's hairy balls, you're going to owe me for this Will," Rory said as he removed his shirt and began to cut it up as Willa had instructed. Once he was done he turned to look at her. "Okay, now what?"_

_Willa grabbed the wall to support herself and stop from collapsing to the floor. "L-look in the hole that the spear came out of, do you see some kind of lever, spring or latch of some kind?"_

_Rory held up the torch and looked inside. "Actually there is a spring at the end of the tube and a latch in front of the opening...wait a minute it looks like they are connected with a taut wire." _

"_Okay good...when you put the spear back pull that latch over and re-reconnect it. That will load the spring on the t-trap."_

"_Willa, are you okay?"_

_Trying to focus she glared up at him. "Of course I'm not okay, I have spear protruding from my stomach..." she growled as sank to her knees. "And I'm feeling a little woozy, here."_

"_Please Will, let's just leave."_

"_We're almost done, just stick with me for a few more minutes. Hand me the strips you cut." He did as requested. "Now get in f-front...of me and pull the spear out in one swift motion. I'll work on my wound while you fix..." She made a gesture with her hand, pointing to the trap, trying to remain lucid. "...while you fix the thingy mabob." _

"_This is very bad idea, Will. In the history of bad ideas this has to be the worst!"_

"_Its the only one I got . Now, on the count of three," she said as she bit down on the steel blade of her dagger._

_Rory nodded as he gripped the end of the spear._

"_One..." Rory said. "Two..." and then not waiting for the three count, he pulled, she cried out in agony, biting down on the blade, trying to silence her cries of pain. She fell on her back, the sounds of the room growing distant, but she forced herself not to pass out. She drew in several deep breaths to clear her head. Then she lifted her shirt, inspected the gaping hole and cursed. _

"_S-son of bitch! That's de-definitely going to leave a marker...a maker..a mark," she muttered before everything went black. _

_Rory flew to her side and examined the wound. He took the strips of cloth out of her hands and quickly dressed the wound and tied it off as best as he could. He went back to the trap and moving as swiftly as he dared he reset the trap according to Willa's instruction. With the extra pieces of cloth from his shirt he wiped down the walls and floor of blood, but there was too much . There was no way he could clean the whole mess. The Bann was going to know that someone had been hit with the spear. _

"_Fuck it," he muttered. Willa was losing precious moments and he had to get her to Anders. He flung her bag over his shoulder and then scooped her into his arms as he raced out of the castle. Luck had been with him as he made his escape because he didn't encountered one guard on the way out. He hoisted Willa onto Taboo, untethered his own horse, and ordered, "Home!" then gave him a smack. The stallion took off in the direction of the castle as Rory slid in behind Willa and raced all the way back._

_When he arrived at the castle, he leapt off Taboo, pulled Willa into his arms and rushed to Anders' rooms. When the mage saw the condition that she was in he was furious and demanded to know what happened. Rory said that there had been a series of coyotes attacking the barns of local farmers and that he and Willa were tracking them. It was a moonless night and the woods were very dark. Willa became disoriented, lost track of where she was and fell into a ravine. A fallen tree branch impaled her side on the way down. Anders gave him a doubtful look, but immediately went to work on healing her. _

Rory paused as he looked at their stunned faces. Anders could feel the tears stinging at his eyes, but he pushed them down.

"She almost died that night. She had lost so much blood. If you had arrived just a few minutes later she would have been beyond my abilities," Anders muttered as he rested his head in his hands, overwhelmed at what she had risked and what he had almost lost and all because she would gamble anything, sacrifice everything for them to be together.

Anders closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He needed her...Maker help him, he needed her as surely as he needed air to breath, but this course they were on was destructive and it had to stop. He could no longer let her risk so much for him.

* * *

**A/N - In the vault scene there are four movie references and on song reference. A cookie, cold glass of milk and sweet Anders' kiss to anyone who can name them.**  
*** ****A huge thank you to those of you who have favored, alerted and reviewed. You make my day so much brighter. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.**


	8. Chapter 8 Sorry

**Chapter 7 - Sorry**

"When I say I'm sorry, will you believe me? Listen to my story, say you won't leave me

When I say I'm sorry, can you forgive me? When I say I'll always be there

Will you believe, will you believe me? If I told you, I've been cleaning my soul

And if I promised you, I'll regain control, will you open your door and let me in?

Take me for who I am and not for who I've been?"

_Sorry by Daughtry_

Fergus looked back and forth between Willa and Rory completely dumbfounded by the story that he had just just heard. "I-I don't even know where to start..." He muttered as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey, poured himself a shot, gulped it down, poured another then handed the bottle to Anders. Anders didn't even bother with a glass he just took a swig straight out of the bottle.

"Willa, when I told you as payment for my chaperoning skills that I wanted you to acquire the Count's bottle of brandy from Bann Howze I meant for you to use your wily, wily, girly ways to convince the Bann to sell it to me. Not for you to break into the man's vault and steal it!"

"He already turned down a rather large sum of sovereigns. The man was clearly not in the negotiating mood. Not to mention the man is married. I doubt my _wily, wily girly ways _would have any effect on him."

"Oh bullshit, Willa!" Fergus shouted, finally losing his calm demeanor. "You have coerced many married men into doing your bidding when it's something that was important to you...You did this because you were bored. You were looking for a challenge. Am I not right, dear sister?"

Willa bit down on the inside of her mouth to stop the grin from spreading across her lips. There were times that Fergus knew her too well. This had been a game to her, a fun experiment, a way to test her skills, she just hadn't anticipated it getting out of control so quickly.

But before she could respond to the allegation Fergus continued to rant. "I'm not sure what astounds me more. The brilliancy and clarity of mind that you possessed while in excruciating pain to formulate and issue orders to execute a plan or the supreme stupidity of risking your life over a bloody bottle brandy just so that you didn't have to admit defeat...Fuck! You're so stupid...I could have lost you, Will."

Fergus leapt to his feet, in two long strides was standing in front of her, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head as he held onto her as if his life depended on it. "W-what the bloody hell were you thinking?" He asked his voice ragged with emotions.

"I'm sorry, Fergus, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for things to get so out of control. You're right, I did it because I was bored. When I got there and saw the trap I knew I could still make the plan work. I just had to work through it. I wasn't going to let some poorly thought out trap beat me."

Fergus pulled back from her and stared at her. "By all that is holy," Fergus laughed sardonically, shaking his head in disbelief. "You almost died because you were competitive with a trap. That is the most asinine thing I've ever heard."

Willa grimaced under the weight of his stare. "I truly am sorry. The whole situation just got out of control."

Fergus took a step away from her, shook his head and returned to his seat. "You know I'm going to have to return the brandy to the Bann. I can't keep it..."

"What? Why? But how are you going to do that with implicating Rory and I?"

"I'll tell him that a member of thieves guild overheard me talking about the bottle. That he was the one that broke into the vault to steal it, but was gravely injured by the spear. I'll come up with some plausible excuse on how it fell into my hands, and by the time I'm done he will want to open the bottle to share it with me as a token of his appreciation," Fergus chuckled.

Willa looked up at Fergus and Anders, her eyes filled with sincerity. "I truly am sorry. I know it was a foolish thing to do."

"Honestly Will, I don't know how one minute you can completely amaze me with your foresight and logic and in the next you act completely irrational with no thought to the consequences of your actions. What if Rory hadn't told me what had happened and I had thanked the Bann for selling the brandy to you? What do you think would have happened then?"

Willa's eyes widened in shock. She had never concerned that possibility. "I didn't think..."

"That's correct! You didn't think! You allowed your adolescent hormones to override all logical thought," Fergus touted.

"That isn't true!"

Fergus cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, so you didn't go through this so that could continue to spend time with Anders?"

Willa felt her cheeks burn red with both anger and embarrassment, but she remained silent.

"Willa," Fergus said as the tone in his voice softening. "I am just as much to blame for this as you. As your brother, I should have willingly offered to be your chaperone without placing any stipulations on our agreement and if I had lost you...it would have been my fault. Promise me that you will never do anything so short sighted again."

"I promise you. I really am sorry, Fergus."

"It's okay Willa. Everything worked out. Trust me, I've done plenty of stupid thing. Why I remember this one time that Nate and I..."

"You lied to me," Anders interrupted in a low gravelly.

Willa gave him a half smile. "Not really, the part about the label was more of a half truth..."

"You lied about the reason for your injury," Anders hissed and it was obvious that he was struggling to control his temper.

"Technically, I was unconscious. It was Rory that came up with the coyote..."

Anders slammed his hand down on the bench beside him, immediately silencing her. "You lied, you stole, you risked your entire future and your life. And why? So that you could spend time with a man whom you have to have a secret relationship with, a man that you have no future with, a man that will only bring you pain."

"Anders..."

He leapt to his feet. "NO! This has to stop. You risk too much for me," he stated as he walked out of the room.

Willa stared blankly as she watched him walk away from her. She felt as if someone had just smacked her in the face. Both Fergus and Rory were looking at her with pained expressions on their faces. She jumped to her feet and raced after him. He must have been running because she didn't catch up with him until she arrived at his bedroom door. He was shoving his belongs into his bag.

"W-what are you doing?" Willa asked.

"I'm leaving."

"Anders, I made a mistake. I'm sorry, but that is no reason for you to leave."

"You risk too much just to be with me. You willingly went there to steal that bottle to pay off Fergus so that he would continue to cover for us. Do you know how crazy that sounds? And you almost died in the process...I almost lost you."

She walked over to him and tenderly touched his arm. "But you didn't. I'm still here and I promise I won't do anything so stupid again. I give you my word."

Anders slowly shook his head and he looked up at her with the saddest eyes she had ever seen. "I wish I could believe that, but I know that you feel the exact same way about me that I do about you. I would do anything, risk everything for you, Wills and that's okay for me because outside the Circle my life is forfeited anyways, but yours isn't."

"You're wrong..."

"No, I'm not. Its time for me to leave. With the plague being identified as Blight Sickness the Templars will not be so hesitant to come to Highever to look for me. I need to leave before they arrive so that your family can't be accused of sheltering an apostate."

"Anders, p-please..." her voice broke and she couldn't stop the tears from coming. Anders pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried.

"We both knew this day would come," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

She buried her head against his chest, breathing him in as she fought back the tears. "P-please...there has to be another way."

"There isn't. You know this, Wills. Its time for me to go and you gave me your word that you wouldn't make this any more difficult than it already is," Anders said gently, but sternly.

He was right, she knew this was the price that they were going to have to pay for the brief moment of extraordinary happiness and she had given him her word that she wouldn't make a scene when it was time for him to go. She maybe a lot of things, but she was a woman of her word.

She pulled away, looked up at him pleadingly as she drew in a deep breath, "You're right. I'm sorry, I understand, but the Templars won't come during Twelfth Night, please wait until the celebrations are over. Please!"

Anders closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. "Fine, I will stay till the end of the celebrations, but when the time comes no protests, no tears. I can't bare to see you cry so promise me again that you won't make this any harder than it already is."

"I promise."

"Good, now its late. You should go to bed."

She looked over at his bed then back at him and gave him smirk. "There's a bed right here."

He tilted his head slightly and gave her a lopsided grin. "Yes, but that bed is barely big enough for one person let alone two people."

"Well, I guess that means that I'll have to sleep extra close to you," she purred as slowly undid the laces on her gown.

"Hmmm, I don't think that's a good idea. Remember, your Father was very specific about there being no gossip about there being an inappropriate relationship relationship between us."

Willa looked around the room then back at him. "I don't see anyone around who would gossip. Do you?" She asked as her dress fell to the ground and she stood before him in her chemise. She undid the laces on that too and it fell to the ground with the gown. Now she stood before him only her small clothes.

Anders eyes went wide as his breathing became erratic, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. She grinned at him as she walked by him, pulled back the covers on the bed, slid in and patted the space beside her.

She could tell that he was at war with himself between wanting her and trying to do the honorable thing. "I'm not asking you to make love to me, Anders. I'm just asking you to sleep with me."

"Aaah, don't you think you would be more comfortable sleeping in your chemise?"

She gave him a playful smile. "Would you like me to be more comfortable when I sleep?"

Anders nodded vigorously. "Yes, I would."

"Oh okay," she said and reached behind her to unfasten her breast band.

"Wait! What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"You said you wanted me to be more comfort so I'm honoring your request. I sleep in the nude."

Anders eyes looked as if they had glazed over. "What? You're kidding, right? Tell me, you're just teasing."

"No, I'm not. I love the feel of the soft cotton sheets against my skin."

Anders ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Well, that dandy little thought is going to lead to more sleepless nights."

"So would you prefer that I keep my small clothes on?"

"Yes!"

"You didn't need to answer so quickly. You could have at least given it some thought. Maybe at least pretended like you actually think of me as pretty instead of making me feel as if I'm as attractive as the rear end of a bronto," she said with a pout as she slide down into the bed.

Anders eyes roamed over her nearly naked body, his eyes darkening with need. "You know damn well how attractive I find you. You have felt how badly I want you," he growled.

"I don't know, Anders. You have a nearly naked girl in your bed and instead of completely undressing her, you want her to put her clothes on. It's enough to give a girl a complex," she purred as her hand traveling slowly down the toned muscles of her stomach and came to rest at the top of her panties.

"I...swear you're trying to kill me," he said his voice ragged with want.

She smiled sweetly at him. "No, my dear sexy mage, I'm trying to seduce you, but obviously I'm failing miserably at it," she cooed as she slid her hand other hand up between the valley between her breasts.

"Wills...I'm trying to do the right thing and you aren't making that any easier."

"I don't want you to do the right thing. I want you do me." His eyes narrowed on her, but she just smiled at him. "However, if you aren't willing to do that why don't you just come to bed and hold me."

"You want me to come to bed and hold you...just hold you...dressed like that...just hold you."

"I thought a big strong mage such as yourself would have enough self control to be able to do that...Maybe I was wrong."

"Fine," Anders said as he started toward the bed.

"What are you doing?"

His eyes widened in frustration. "I'm doing what you asked. I'm coming to bed to hold you."

"Do you always sleep fully clothed with your boots on?"

"Aaah, no," Anders said as he sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his boots and robe. He started to lean back, but she stopped him.

"So you sleep in your pants and shirt?"

"No, I don't."

"How do you sleep, Anders?"

"In the nude," he grunted through gritted teeth.

She couldn't help, but laugh. "I knew you were going to say that. Why don't you join me in your smalls?"

"For both our sakes, I think it would be wise if I slept like this," he said.

"Fine, but tomorrow night there will be no shirt or no pants. I'll let you choose."

"Who said anything about tomorrow night?"

"You did when you decided it was time for you to go. I only have a few more days with you and I plan on spend every moment I possibly can with you. I hope you don't mind."

Anders laid back, pulled her onto his chest and he literally sighed as she curled into him. "No Wills, I don't mind at all," he said as fingers entwined into her hair as he kissed the top of her forehead.

"Good," she said as she yawned her fingers curling around his other hand that laid casually across his stomach. Laying here, against him, her body pressed against his, she felt completely relaxed. It was coming home for the first time and it felt wonderful.

"Anders," she muttered in a groggy voice.

"Hmmm," he replied sounding barely awake.

"I don't ever want this to end."

His only reply was the slow, rhythmic sound of his breathing. "I love you, Anders. I always will," she whispered as she pressed her lips against his chest as the tears began to slowly and silently fall.

* * *

**A/N - I know this was a short chapter, but it was a pivotal one. The next several chapters will be told in Anders POV and this one needed to be told in Willa's. Despite its length I hope that you still enjoyed it. **

***I want to thank all those who have reviewed, alerted, favored and those who are just lurking. Please continue to share your thoughts with me, I love hearing from you. It always brings a smile to my face.**


	9. Chapter 9 Something

**Chapter 8 - Something**

"Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover.

Something in the way she woos me, I don't want to leave her now, you know I believe and how.

Somewhere in her smile she knows, that I don't need no other lover.

Something in her style that shows me, I don't want to leave her now, you know I believe and how."

_Something by The Beatles _

Anders felt every one of her tears as they fell onto his shirt, soaking through and cooling his skin. He wanted to comfort her, to tell her it was going to be alright, but he knew those were just empty words. He had to leave and things would never be alright again once he did. So he just held her as he let her cry herself to sleep. Once he was certain she had entered the Fade he allowed his own tears to fall as he grieved for what he was losing, for what would never be and for the pain that both of them would soon be in. His own tears fell until sleep finally claimed him.

The warm morning sun pulled him out of a restless sleep. He shifted and felt something stir beside him. He looked down and smiled remembering that Willa had spent the night with him. She had been so warm, so comforting pressed up against his side. How easy it would be to so just stay as long as he could with her until the templars came for him? However, he knew if he did that Willa would hold herself responsible and the guilt would eat at her.

He turned to her, she was curled on her side, her back turned to him. He slid in behind her and pulled her against his chest. He leaned down, buried his head in her hair, breathing her in, trying to committee her scent to memory. He didn't want to leave her. He wanted to stay like this, by her side until the day he died. The thought of leaving her, knowing more than likely he would never seeing her again. That very thought was driving him mad.

There was a light knock at his door. Anders eased out of bed not wanting to disturb her. He quietly opened the door and stepped out into the hall. A pretty, young elven girl was standing there. She was nervously wringing her hands and refusing to look him in the eye.

"Ser, I'm so sorry to disturb you and I don't mean to be rude or imply anything inappropriate, but by chance did my Lady spend the night here?"

"Who is your lady?"

For the first time she looked up at him and he recognized her as Willa's personal hand maid. Before she could answer, Anders asked, "You're Sofia, Willa's personal servant, correct?"

"Yes Ser, this morning when I went to wake my Lady her bed was empty and it appeared that it hadn't been slept in all night. I know that you and Lady Willa are...close and I hoped that you might know of her whereabouts before I alert the Teryn."

"It is good that you came to me Sofia, but first I must ask you, where do your loyalty lie?" Anders inquired.

"I beg your pardon, but I don't understand the question."

"Are you loyal to your Lady first or to her parents?"

She straightened her shoulders as she looked him directly in eye. "To my Lady, of course," she replied as if he had insulted her.

Anders smiled warmly at her. "Good, that is what I wanted to hear. Lady Cousland did spent the night here..."

Sofia's eyes widened as she began to protest, but Anders cut her off. "It isn't what you think. After a long night of celebrating, we had a disagreement and came back to my room to discuss the matter. She fall asleep here and I didn't want to awake her. However, this morning I don't want her to be seen wearing the same gown that she wore last night. Even though sleeping here was completely innocent, I don't want anything to tarnish her reputation. Will you help your Lady? Will you bring her a change of clothes and make sure that her gown makes it back to her room?"

"Of course, Ser. I will go get her things now before most of the house is awake," Sofia said as she swiftly rushed down the hall.

Anders stepped back into his room only to discover that Willa was up. She was standing by the window, wearing one of his shirts. She was holding the collar up by her nose sniffing it. He walked up behind her, slid his arms around her waist, drawing her to him. "Does my shirt smell?"

"It smells like you...it smells delicious," she murmured.

"Well, I do believe you look better in than I do."

"I'm glad you think that 'cause I'm keeping it."

"I only have three tunics and now you're taking one of them."

"I'll pay for it, but I want to be able to smell you even after you're gone."

"And what do I get to keep to remember you by?"

With her behind still firmly pressed against his groin, she bent over slid off her panties and handed them back to him. "There you go. It will remind of what you could have had, but refuse to take," she said teasingly.

He instinctually lifted the panties to his nose. His eyes closed as he breathed her in. Fuck! She smelled divine - the scent of sweet jasmine, vanilla and a hint of musk. He imagined slipping between her legs, inhaling her deeply before letting his tongue part her so he could finally taste her.

"You're such a tease," he growled as his arm tightened around her waist.

"Takes one to know one," she purred as she pressed her delectable, bare backside against his now throbbing groin.

Without thought, he twisted his fingers through her soft, silky tresses and pulled her hair back, exposing her long, slender neck to him. He kissed and licked at the nape of her neck as his hand slid up her side, cupping the supple mound through the thin material of his shirt and began to stroke the pert nipple with his thumb. She moaned as she arched her back against him. He masterfully teased, caressed and kissed her until her body nearly went limp against his.

He moved his other hand over the shirt down her toned stomach; he paused just above the dark patch of hair between her legs. He could feel the heat radiating off her. He slipped his hand over top the apex of her sex, resting his hand there for a moment without moving as he relished the feel of her soft, wet curls for the first time. His fingers began to caress her softly, slowly before they slipped through her silky folds.

His body shook with pleasure at feeling her inner most sanctum for the first time. He had fantasized about this too many times to count, but none of those dreams came close to how fantastic she felt. Sweet Andraste...she was so incredibly wet, so slick and his cock jumped as his hips pressed into her bottom.

"Oh...Wills...Maker...you feel amazing," he groaned as he released a small amount of pulsating electricity into her.

Her knees buckled as she cried out, "Damn, A-anders!"

Her arm came up behind her and wrapped around his neck so that she could support herself. He slid his finger inside her, not deep enough to break that precious membrane that was the key to her innocence, but far enough that he could crook his finger to hit that perfect spot that would bring her closer to ecstasy. His fingers vibrated inside of her, his thumb pulsed against taut swollen nub and her head fell back against his chest as a sigh escaped her lips.

No longer able to stand on her own, he held her up with his arm securely wrap around her waist. He watched her as her eyes slid half closed, her mouth slightly gaping open as her breath came in erratic pants. Damn she was exquisite. He could watch her like this, in the throes of ecstasy, for hours. Maker, what he wouldn't give to spend hours with her, giving her unspeakable pleasures, teaching her how to do the same.

The sinuous, yet graceful movement of her hips as they roll against his hand sent a mindless yearning coursing through him. The need to be in her, to slowly sink into her depths, to move with her was almost overwhelming.

He felt her tremble against him, her hunger building, her breath ragged, erotic sighs, sharp gasps as she moaned out his name was like music to his ears and his groaned as he became even harder, almost painfully so.

She stiffened, her back arching against him. His lips caressed her shoulders and neck as her inner muscles clamp down around him. He couldn't help but smile. Even in this sweet inner sanctum she was strong, in control, her muscles constricting rhythmically around his fingers. A guttural growl tore from his throat as he fantasized once again about being in her, moving with her as her slick walls enveloped him, her muscles working him until he lost all control.

"Ohh… A-anders… Maker… yessss!" She cried out as she fell back against his chest panting trying to catch her breath as the waves of pleasure crashed over her.

"Wills, you are breathtaking when you cum," he whispered as he feathered kisses up and her neck.

She turned in his arms to face him. She smiled at him as her hand slid down his chest between them, she grabbed his throbbing cock through his trousers and began to stroke him. His head fell against the side of her neck and he moaned with pleasure.

"Making you cum will take my breath away," she murmured as feathered kisses down his neck as her nimble fingers made quick work on the ties of his shirt. She ran her hand down his bare chest, her fingers brushed over his nipples several times before she gently pinched them. His head dropped forward so he could watch her touch him. He loved to watch her caress his skin. Her touch was like none he had ever known before.

She began to lower herself to the ground when a knock came at the door. Willa paused in her descent as Anders cursed under his breath.

"Who is it?" He called out his voice ragged from unfilled desire.

"It's Sofia, Ser."

Oh damn it! He had been so completely lost in Willa that he forgotten about her. Willa sprung to her feet. "What is she doing?" She whispered.

"I asked her to bring you a change of clothes so that you weren't seen this morning still wearing your gown from last night," he said.

She leaned up and kissed him. "Aaah that so sweet of you to be concerned about my reputation."

"Someone has to," he muttered in a hushed tone then a bit louder he said. "Just give me a minute."

Anders turned to Willa who was still dressed in his shirt. Damn if she didn't look so incredibly edible in it. "Quickly, throw on your chemise."

"Its Sofia. I'm not naked. She has seen me worse. Just let her in," Willa replied.

"Do you ever just do as you're told?" He said as he walked over to the door and opened.

"Where's the fun in that?" She replied as Sofia rushed in.

"My Lady, your mother is looking for you. I told her you went for an early morning ride," Sofia said as she handed Willa her riding clothes.

"Good thinking," Willa replied as she slid behind the changing divider.

"She is waiting for you in the family dining room. Anders, Tyce is in there too and wishes to speak with regarding the tournament today," Sofia stated.

"What's that about?" Willa asked.

"Your father wants Tyce and I at the tournament just incase anyone gets injured. I'm sure Tyce just wants to make sure that we have plenty of lyrium, healing potions and poultices," Anders replied just as Willa stepped out from behind the divider.

Sofia motioned for her to take a seat. Willa did as instructed and the elf's skilled fingers quickly braided her mistress' hair. "What about the stable hand? He will know that I wasn't out?" Willa inquired suddenly, the thought just occurring to her.

"Ser Rory, is taking care of Tomas," she replied as she finished with Willa's hair.

Willa stood. "Anders, I don't believe it would be wise if we arrived together so wait a few minutes before you head that way."

Anders nodded. He knew they were both in for long, busy day. Not knowing when he would have a chance to hold her again, he drew her to him and despite the disapproving look on the elf's face he claimed her lips one last time. When he finally pulled away she looked up at him and grinned, "I think it will be easier if you just spend the night in my room tonight."

"What? No," Anders protested.

"I just thought that it would easier to hide your presence in my room then having to go through this little charade every morning, but if that's what you want then I'll see you back here tonight," she cooed a seductive smile playing on her lips.

"Willa, this is not a good idea," Anders stated.

"I agree with Ser Anders, my Lady. This is not a wise course of action," the elf interjected.

Willa ignored her maid as she stepped toward Anders. "I meant what I said last night, if I only have a few more days with you I want to spend every moment I can in your arms. Would you deny me the simple pleasure of taking comfort in your embrace?"

Anders bent down and whispered, "I doubt its just simple pleasures you are after."

A sly grin spread across her lips as her eyes darkened with hunger. She leaned up and whispered, "Would you deny me those pleasures too, my dear sweet mage?"

His body still ached with want and need that had been unquenched. He honestly didn't know if he could spend another night with her and not give into his hunger for her. "Wills...I don't think I can continue to resist my need for you if you keep pushing me like this," he murmured.

She pressed her lips against his ear, she nipped at him as she sighed, "Come now, Anders, you're the notorious seducer of fair maidens, surely you know that there are ways that we can pleasure each other without having intercourse."

Anders pulled back from her completely stunned by her suggestion, but she just smiled at him as she planted a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll see you tonight. Sofia will let you know when it is safe to join me."

Then she spun on her heels and strolled out of the room. The images that were now floating through his head where far from wholesome and he trembled with want. Maker, give him strength.

Once he had composed and adjusted himself he grabbed his staff and headed for to the dining room. He walked into the room hearing Teryna Cousland having words with her daughter.

"Really, Willa what has gotten into you lately?" Eleanor asked as she reached for the pot of tea.

"More like who?" Fergus muttered as he grinned at Anders as he entered the room and sat down beside Tyce at the table. With her mother's back still turned away, Willa kicked her brother in the shin. He shot her a dirty look as he rubbed his leg.

"What was that, dear?" Eleanor asked pointedly.

"Oh nothing Mother, I was just agreeing with you. What has gotten into our little Wilhelmina lately?"

"You knew that I needed your help this morning preparing for the nobles that will be joining us at the tournament this afternoon. I was rather upset with you, young lady, when Sofia informed me that you decided to go out for an early morning ride," her mother sighed exasperated.

"Is that what they are calling it nowadays?" Fergus chuckled.

"Not the kind you're use to, Fergus, no money changed hands," Willa retorted and Anders covered his mouth to stifle his laugh.

"Oh for Maker's sake, would the two of you stop it. Both you are acting like children. Now, Willa your father thought that as part of the boon for the overall tournament champion that kiss from you would..."

"Has Father lost his mind?" Willa exclaimed.

"No, the last time I saw him he seemed rather sane," Lady Cousland replied dryly.

"What is rational about having some nasty knight pawing at me?"

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "Oh stop being some dramatic, they aren't going to be pawing at you. It will be a polite kiss. Why just last spring at the Denerim Landsmeet, King Calian offered the same boon with Anora. It was huge success with all the nobles," her mother said.

"Yes, but that's because Anora is beautiful, the Queen and did I mention beautiful," Fergus chuckled as he stuffed a sausage into his mouth.

Willa kicked her brother again. he began to choke on the food he had just shoved into his mouth as he winced in pain.

"Don't be such a prude Willa. It's just a kiss," Eleanor stated.

"Not really the term I would use for her," Fergus murmured rubbed his other leg now.

"I'm not being a prude. Its just that most of the men that compete in these tournament are old and most of them smell like their skin is rotting," Willa said as she turned her nose up in disgust.

"Well, not this time my dear, a lot of the knights competing are Duncan's Grey Wardens and several of the nobles sons. I promise that you won't have to kiss any old men. So can I tell your father that you have consented?"

Willa rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"Good now that we have that settled, I had Sofia draw a bath for you and lay out your clothes for the tournament. I expect you to arrive promptly to the tournament field. Who knows Willa, maybe, you might end kissing your future husband."

"Maker's balls, Mother! Is that all you think about? Marrying me off to the most eligible man?"

"Watch your language, young lady, and no that isn't all I think about. I also think about the fact that I'm not getting any younger and a few more grandchildren would be nice before I go off to meet the Maker," she said dryly.

Willa rose to her feet, "Now, who's being overly dramatic. Why don't you nag Fergus about that? After all, he is already married."

"Believe me, Sister, I'm nagged on regular basis."

Anders watched her leave, not happy at all with the idea of another man holding and kissing her by the end of the day.  
_**xxXxx**_

It had been a long, hot day of competition. The knights fighting fiercely for the title of Highever Champion. Tyce and Anders had spent the majority of their day in the healing tent tending to the injured. When things were slow he had managed to watch tournament from the side of the field as the contestants battled each other in archery, jousting and swordplay and it was clear early on that the two strongest competitors were Alistair and Rory.

They were tied for first place and it came down to a final sword fight between the two of them for the title of tournament champion. Anders really wanted Rory to win. He knew that the squire's feelings for Willa were strictly platonic. He wasn't so sure about the Warden.

He glanced up at the Teryn's box. Willa had scooted to the edge of her seat, anxiety plain visible on her face as she watched the two large men begin circling each other. She didn't seem too thrilled earlier about kissing the tournament champion so he was certain that she was routing for Rory. At least, he hoped she was rooting for her closest friend. Alistair was handsome and charming in an unpolished sort of way, maybe she did want the good looking Grey Warden to win.

Alistair charged at Rory, but the squire's reflexes were lightning quick and he easily jumped to Alistair's sword side, spun around and slammed his shield into the Warden's arm. Alistair stumbled slightly, but held his ground. He raised his shield and slashed at Rory's arm. For the most part the squire dodged the blade, but Alistair had managed catch a vulnerable part of the squire's arm and slice the upper part of his forearm. Rory grimaced in pain, but he quickly repositioned himself, crouched into a defensive posture as they began circling each other again.

Rory went the offensive, but Alistair quickly countered - block, swing, block, attack and the battle raged on. Both men were beginning to fatigue and despite the cold sweat was pouring off of them. Rory charged catching Alistair with a blow that skimmed off of his shield and into the side of his head. Alistair stumbled back, Rory moved in for an overhead strike, but just as he brought the blade down, Alistair leapt to Rory's side. The sword bounced off the ground, the momentum from the swing forced Rory to lurch forward, Alistair leveled a kick at the back of Rory's knee, his leg buckled and he went down. Alistair spun around and rested his sword on the back of Rory's neck. Alistair looked up at Teryn Cousland who nodded and declared him the winner to the thunderous applause of the crowd.

As the Couslands made their way down to the tournament field, Alistair hurried over to the water trough that was near where Anders stood. Alistair removed his helm and gauntlets so that he could clean himself up before the presentation.

"That was an impressive fight," Anders said.

Alistair smiled up at him. "Thank you. Rory is a worthy opponent. He just overextended his reach and I was able to capitalize on it."

"Well, twenty sovereigns is definitely a boon worth battling for," Anders stated.

Alistair grinned back at him. "Yes, but I wasn't even interested in the tournament until it was announced that a kiss from the lovely Lady Willa was part of the boon."

Anders gritted his teeth as he reminded himself that he was leaving her in a few days. "Yes, the beautiful Lady Willa is definitely a boon worth fighting for. Congratulations," Anders said solemnly.

"Thank you," Alistair said as he dried off and walked out to join the Couslands on the tournament field.

Alistair stood before them as the Teryn and Teryna approached him. "For your commendable performance in today's tournament we present you with this trophy and twenty gold sovereigns."

Alistair bowed to them before they handed him the items. Alistair turned toward the crowd, raised the trophy and they roared with approval. When the audience had calmed once again a young squire took the boon from him and Alistair turned back to the Teryn.

Bryce smiled warmly at him. "Now, for your bonus prize, may I present my daughter, Lady Wilhelmina Cousland."

Willa stepped out from behind her parents. She looked stunning. She wore chocolate brown and gold brocade damask dress with a ivory fur lined cloak. Her long mahogany tresses hung in loose curls around her face. She smiled warmly at Alistair as she approached him. Alistair stepped forward, took her hand, bowed to her then kissed her palm. The crowd let out loud cheer and Anders could see the color rising on both of their cheeks.

Alistair leaned in, whispered something in her ear and when he pulled back she was laughing. He stepped up to her, slid his arms around her waist and drew her in. Willa rested her hand on his shoulders as she tilted her head up toward him, Alistair leaned down and tenderly touched his lips to hers. Anders noticed Willa tense at first, but as Alistair his hand splayed on her lower back drawing her closer in she relaxed against him. It wasn't a long, heated kiss, but it was far from a chastened one and Anders had to turn away as the bile in his stomach began to rise. When the crowd cheered he turned back and saw the two of them take a bow before turning to head off of the field.

He felt a gentle touch on his arm, he turned to see Tyce beside him giving him sympathetic expression. "Let's go, Anders. We have injured that need our attention," the mage replied kindly.

Anders glanced over his shoulder one last time, pain lancing through his heart as he watched the handsome Knight lead his Lady off the field.

Anders and Tyce remained busy the rest of the day and into the early evening tending to the injured contestants. When he was through there was still plenty of time for him to clean up so that he could attend the tournament banquet, but he really wasn't in the mood to see Alistair shining as the tournament champion golden boy with Willa on his arm as his prize. He knew this wasn't the most mature attitude to have, that he was being a sore loser, but he needed one night alone so that could collect his thoughts and compose himself. He knew his time with her was short, that he should cherish every moment that they could spend together, but tonight he just couldn't watch another man holding her, dancing with her and look wantonly at her. He had his fill for one day of witnessing another man's lust for the woman he loved and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

So instead, worked in Tyce's laboratory replenishing their supplies that they had gone through today. He had been completely lost in his work that he had lost track of the time and hadn't realized how late it was until he noticed how eerily quiet it was. He wondered how long ago the band had stopped playing.

"I missed you this evening," a cool sultry voice came from the shadows of the doorway. She had moved so soundlessly that he hadn't heard her approach. He spun to face her as she casually strolled into the light of the room.

"Somehow I doubt that. I'm sure you had Alistair following you around all evening, probably falling over himself to met every whim of his prized boon," Anders said trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice as he swiveled on his stool turning his attention back to the potions in front of him.

Quietly she glided over to him, standing beside him she slid her hand under his chin forcing him to look at her. She looked so beautiful, her eyes glistening in the candlelight and when she smiled so lovingly at him, his heart skipped a beat. How was ever going to leave her? How was he ever going to live without her?

"Are you jealous, Anders?"

He looked at her, longing to pull her into his arms, but afraid to even touch her for fear of giving into his yearning for her. "Yes," he replied honestly.

"You have no reason to be jealous of Alistair."

Anders shook his head in disgust at his envious and resentful feelings for the Warden. "Really? And how should I feel about the man who kissed you in front of hundreds of spectators?"

"Sympathetic."

Anders laughed sardonically. "Sympathetic? I should be sympathetic towards a man who can kiss you openly in public without fear of retribution? A man who could dance with you all night and be the envy of every man there. Why, pray tell, does this man deserve my sympathy?"

"Because today he received his first kiss in front of hundreds of witnesses and it was as exciting as kissing a sibling," she replied calmly.

"What?"

"There was no chemistry between us at all. It was like kissing Fergus in front of a crowd of people," she said in disgust.

"It didn't look awkward. Alistair looked like he was rather enjoying himself."

"The man has superb acting abilities, I'll give him that, but we both agreed that under no circumstances did we ever want that to happen again," she chuckled and Anders immediately relaxed.

"Really? It was that bad?"

She laughed. "Worse!" She turned him to face her then leaned into him, her lips tenderly brushing against his. "You have no reason to be jealous of Alistair or any other man for that matter, Anders. You're all that I want."

Without a word, he stood as his arms snaked around her waist, crushing her to him as he lifted her off her feet. His mouth descended on hers, ravenous, brutally possessive as his tongue swept into her mouth, stroking, caressing her so tantalizingly that it vanquished every doubt, every insecurity. He groaned harshly, yet sweetly, wanting to give her his all and so much more.

Gently breaking the kiss, she pulled back slightly to look _in_his eyes, "I brought you your Twelfth Night gift."

He grinned at her. "You're not my gift?"

"I am if you want me to be."

"Don't tempt me."

"It's what I do best," she purred.

"That is very true."

"Besides me, I have another gift for you. Sit down and close your eyes," she instructed. He did as he was told as he heard her move away from him and then a few seconds later return, he heard her setting something heavy in front of him.

"You can open your eyes," she said, excitement ringing in her voice.

Anders opened his eyes, looked down on the table in front of him and his breath literally was sucked out of his chest. A gorgeous, shiny white and blue staff sat on the table. It looked as if it were made of silverite, there were phrases etched into the shaft that appeared to written in Highever gaelic. The top of the staff twisted into a spiral and it had a crystal rune in it.

"Do you like it?" She asked anxiously.

He stared dumbfounded at her then back the staff. "Like it? It has to be the most beautiful staff I've ever seen. Willa, you shouldn't have done this."

Her face was beaming with joy as her eyes sparkled with shear delight. "I'm so glad you like it. Your staff was looking a bit beat up after our encounter with the ogre. A dwarven merchant was passing through the village. I purchased this from him. His son is a savant when it comes to enchantments so I had him add an impact rune at the top. It even has a name. One I do believe you will like."

"Oh what is?"

"Maker's Rod."

Anders burst out laughing. "Oh, that's priceless."

She chuckled. "I thought you enjoy the irony."

"I love it, Wills, I really do," Anders said as he ran his fingers over the engraved phrases. "What do these say?"

Willa pointed to the first one, "Daingne intinne means strength of mind."

She pointed to the second, "Rúndaingne means strength of will."

She ran her finger over the third, "Neart an spioraid is strength of spirit."

"And this one?" Anders asked as he pointed to the last one.

She smiled shyly at him. "Leanánn m'anama, croí mo chroíthe."

"What does it mean?"

Her cheeks were a deep red now and she shook her head.

"Wills, you have to tell me. You're the one that had it engraved. Please," Anders begged.

"It means, lover of my soul, heart of my heart."

Anders thought his heart might burst with the love that surged through him for her at that moment.

Still sitting on the stool, his arms slid around her waist, pulling her between his long legs, "How do you say lover?"

"Leanánn," she said.

"Leanánn," he repeated as he kissed the hollow of her neck.

"Leanánn," he murmured as he feathered kisses across the swells of her breasts.

"Leanánn," he moaned as he nipped at her flesh, she sighed as pressed against him. He pulled back from her and cupped her face. "I too have a Twelfth Night gift for you, but I need to give it to you tomorrow night. Can you meet in the stables after the feast?"

"In the stables, huh? Are we going to play bucking stallion and the fiesty filly?"

Anders laughed. "No, but I do have a very pleasurable evening planned for us."

Her eyes narrowed on him. "How pleasurable?"

"I promise, it will be a night that we will both never forget."

"I like the sound of that," she whispered as she leaned into him claiming his lips once again.

* * *

**A/N - A/N - It has been said that Highever is loosely based on Ireland and Scotland. So I have added some of those traditions and the Gaelic language into this story. **

***Thank you once again to everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review this story. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments.**


	10. Chapter 10 Save Tonight

**Chapter 9 - Save Tonight**

"Go on and close the curtains, 'cause all we need is candlelight

You and me, and a bottle of wine and hold you tonight (oh)

Well we know I'm going away and how I wish - I wish it weren't so

So take this wine and drink with me and let's delay our misery

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn, come tomorrow - tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn, come tomorrow - tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire and it burns like me for you

Tomorrow comes with one desire to take me away (ohh it's true)

It ain't easy to say good-bye, Darlin' please, don't start to cry

'Cause girl you know I've got to go (oh), and Lord I wish it wasn't so"

_Save Tonight by Eagle-Eye Cherry_

Anders had never been nervous when it came to women. In the Circle, he never had butterflies in his stomach or sweaty palms when anticipating meeting a girl in the library stacks, but that had all changed as he prepared for his evening with Willa. He was as nervous as a whore in the Chantry. Tyce had noticed his rattled nerves when he nearly dropped three potions bottles. When he commented on it Anders just blamed his clumsiness on lack of sleep which earned him a long, hard disapproving stare from his mentor, but the senior mage didn't pry.

Anders had plans for the two of them. Plans that he had fantasized about since he had met her, plans to finally sate both of their desires and that thought alone unnerved him. This was his last night with her. He was leaving tomorrow night so he wanted to make this evening as memorable as he possibly could.

He had arrived at the stables a half an hour earlier than he had told her so that he could saddle up Taboo and Mojo. Now, as he watched her walk across the courtyard toward him, his heart thundered in his chest.

She looked at the saddled horses and grinned at him as she approached, "So no bucking stallion, feisty filly tonight?"

"Not tonight, Leanánn," he said as he cupped his hand to help her into into the saddle the he hoisted himself onto Mojo.

"So where are we going?"

"Have you ever heard of Moon Spirit Bay?" Anders asked.

She laughed. "Of course, its a famous Highever legend."

"Its no legend. Its real. I read about it in the Circle. Its believed to be a legend because so few people have seen. The phenomenon only happens once a year and only for three short days."

Willa's eyes widened with delight as she grinned at him. "And that is where you are taking me tonight?"

"Yes, my Lady."

"Well, then lead the way."

Anders led them through the woods and down a narrow path that lead to a secluded beach below the bluffs. After they had secured the horses, Anders pulled his bag off of Mojo. He found a nice spot for them, he spread out two blankets gathered some wood and started a fire before he joined Willa at the edge of the water. He slid in behind her, he slipped his arms around her waist drawing her back to him. She settled back against his chest.

"Legend has it that when Flemeth murdered her husband, Bann Conobar Elstan, she poisoned him with a serum that caused his skin to glow a blueish green color. To hide what she had done, she dumped his body in this bay, but the Bann's spirit refused to allow his murderer to escape justice so it has haunted these waters and on moonless nights his spirit would manifest in water glowing an eerie shade of blue demanding justice."

Anders chuckled. "That's quite a story. Even for a Flemeth tale."

Willa laughed. "Well, if you're going to tell tall tales you might as well make them interesting." She stared out at the bay. "It doesn't seem to be glowing now."

Anders bent down, picked up rock and skimmed it across the water. The water light up and began to glow a warm, soft blue light. Her face light up. "Maker's arse, that incredible. How is it possible?"

"Well, I can assure you Flemeth had nothing to do with it and as much as I would like to attribute it to magic it's really just a natural, rare occurrence of nature. For years the Circle has studied this bay and they discovered that for every gallon of the bay, there are 720,000 phosphorescent single-celled organisms that glow when they are agitated. So do you want to go for a swim?"

"Its freezing out, the water has to be frigid."

"Sweetheart, did you forgot I'm a mage? I can have this whole bay as toast as a hot spring in a matter of seconds. So I ask again, do you want to go for a swim?"

"I didn't bring anything to wear," Willa said.

"I don't recall mentioning anything about wearing something to swim in," he said as he pulled her toward him, his hands sliding up her side, fingers nimbly unfastening her coat. He lets it fall to the ground as his hands gently pull the tunic over top her head. The cold air caused little goose bumps on her flesh and he can see her taut nipples through the thin fabric of her breast band. His arms snaked around her and his experienced fingers quickly undid her breast band. It too fell to the ground, joining the rest of her clothes. She stepped away from him, bent over and began to remove her boots, her tantalizing breasts swaying with her motion.

"As many times as I've fantasized about you undressing me, never once in all of those dreams did I picture myself freezing to death," she said through chattering teeth as her fingers quickly undo the laces of her pants. Anders watched in wide-eyed fascination as she slid them off along her smalls.

Seeing her completely naked for the first time, his breath hitched in his chest, his groin immediately becoming as hard as a rock. Taking in the vision of this gorgeous woman that now stood before him, he had never wanted to come so bad in his life as he did right then. Smooth, porcelain white flesh met his gaze everywhere he looked. Her round, pert breasts made his mouth water, her dark pink nipples begged for his tongue to caress them. His eyes trailed down her toned stomach to the patch of dark, red hair between her legs and his groin ached at the sight. She smiled at him as she turned and sauntered toward the water. Maker, she had the most perfect ass he had ever seen.

She dipped her toe in the water and yelped. "Anders, the water!"

He laughed as he extended his hand, casting a warming spell over the bay. Instantly, steam began to rise off the surface of the water. Willa pawed at the water with her foot, content with the temperature, she looked over her shoulder, "Are you going to join me or stand there all night with your jaw hanging open?"

She asked as she dove into the water, blue lights glowed around her as she swam further into bay. She stood, turned to him and beckoned him to join her. Her hair plastered to her shoulders, water cascaded off of her perfect breasts while the water lapped against her waist.

With trembling hands, Anders quickly undressed then dove in, she swam further out and Anders followed her in the blue glow of her wake. She stopped in the middle of the bay and turned as he swam up to her. Anders was taller than her so he was able to stand in the water that was now past her head. He felt her legs brush against his as she kicked to remain above water. Her movement bathed them in a warm blue light.

Anders pulled her to him, the feel of soft breast and hard nipples pressed against his bare chest, sent an electric charge through him and his already hard erection grew even stiffer. He looked down at her and smiled, "Merry Twelfth Night, Leanánn."

"This is the best gift I've ever received Anders, and only a mage could have made this possible," she purred as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Well, that isn't exactly true. Anyone who knew of this place could have brought you here."

"Yes, but only a mage could have made it possible for me to experience swimming with this phenomenon. This is a once in a lifetime experience and I am so glad that I'm experiencing it with you."

"Me too," he murmured, his mouth covering hers as his tongue caressed her lips seeking entrance, she opened up to him and his surged forward as his need to taste her, devour her, grew stronger. His hand slipped down her back to her perfectly round and firm bottom. Maker's breath, Andraste's arse couldn't have felt more supple or wonderful. His other hand cupped her breast as his thumb and forefinger pinched and pulled at the hard nub. She moaned as he felt her body begin to react to him. He leaned forward, seizing the taut nub with his mouth, drawing on it until he heard her cry out his name.

"I want you so much," he whispered as he pressed his hard member against her thigh and he heard her sigh.

She pulled back and looked at him. "Are you finally going to sate both of our burning need for each other?"

He grinned at her, "I do believe it was you that pointed out that there are ways to please each other without having intercourse."

She smirked back at him. "I'm so glad you decided to take my advice with regards to that."

"So am I," he moaned just before his lips found her mouth and he once again lost himself in the sweetness of her lips. He wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her hips against him. With his other hand he cupped the back of her neck as his tongue caressed and stroked her mouth, compelling her to give back to him the carnal need that he was giving her. He heard her whispered moan of surrender as her slender fingers slid into his hair. She welcomed his tongue and willingly gave him hers as she deepened the kiss conveying her own hunger for him.

Wrapped in his arms, he backed her up to the shore of the bay near the fire he had started and the blankets that he had spread out. He sat on the blanket, pulled her down so that straddled his lap. He grabbed the extra blanket and wrapped it around both of them then he leaned forward and gently kissed the valley between her breasts.

With one hand around her waist, the other came to her breasts and palmed the soft swell in his hand as his fingers glided over the cream skin. "You are so soft, so inviting…" He bent forward and drew her nipple into his mouth, unable to resist the temptation.

Willa closed her eyes and pressed closer to him as her hands wrapped around his head and holding him to her. He sucked and nipped at the tight buds until a quiet mew escaped her lips. He loved that she enjoyed him and the things that he was doing to her. She moaned as she pressed her hips against his already erect penis. He felt her hot, wet core and his hips involuntarily surged forward against her wanting, demanding to be her.

As if sensing his rapidly growing out of control hunger, she pushed him to the ground and he held still as she took his face in her hands and caressed his cheek and jaw with her fingertips.

She leaned over him, her mouth mere inches from his, "Anders, I want you. I've wanted you since the moment you healed me in that sparring ring," she whispered as the warmth of her breath brushed across his lips.

That was music to his ears. He felt his body tremble and he stifled a moan of pleasure as her lips grazed his lips, his cheek, his ear.

"Anders," she purred, as she pressed her pelvis hard against his erection and her lips danced down his neck to his chest. Her teeth lightly grazed his nipple before her lips closed over it and drew it taut. He groaned while his hands caressed her back and bottom.

Her lips followed the path down his stomach while her hand reached down between them and wrapped her warm velvety hand around his now aching cock. His head fell back as her hot and firm fingers slid over his length, each stroke, each caress awake every nerve ending in him sending burning fire coursing through him. He moaned her name, lost in the sensation of her touch.

She slid between his legs and at first him mind didn't grasp her intent until he felt the moist warmth of her mouth. He looked down just in time to watch her tongue curl around the tip of his erection before she took him completely into her mouth. Captivated he watched her take in the length of him and jerked suddenly as her tongue swirled around him.

"Wills," he moaned. "F-fuck...where did a Teryn's daughter learn to do that?"

She looked up at him, her eyes dancing mischievously, but she didn't reply as gripped him with her beautiful lips. He was unable to take his eyes off of her, basking in the heat of her mouth as he struggled to remain in control as the rhythm of her strokes increased.

Oh Maker, she felt incredible and his body ached from the heat of her touch. He let out a groan as she looked up at him through half veiled eyelids, her mouth enfolded tightly around him. She laced her tongue around him again and it took every ounce of strength he had not to release into her. He gently rested his hand on her head, "Leanánn, I swear you're trying to kill me."

She acted like she hadn't heard him and she continued to tease him till he was on the brink of an orgasm, then her mouth would relax long enough for him to calm down before she would do it again. She would pull at him, suck and lick at him until he was begging her for release. His hands fisted in her hair as his hips grew more urgent, moving helplessly in time with her mouth. She took him deep until he was so enraptured with pleasure he couldn't see or think straight.

"Oh fuck...please, Will...please finish it," he cried out.

Her soft taunting laughter sent him even closer to the edge. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, he grabbed at her wrists trying to pull her way, not wanting to cum in her mouth, but she shook him off, her lips continued to work him over until he lost all control. He etched the vision of her and this moment into his mind, never wanting to forget it.

He cried out her name in a chorus of supplication as his hands bunched in her hair and her mouth took him over the edge as sheer bliss finally enclosed around him, bringing him peace.

When he returned to his senses, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. He rolled her over onto her back, brushed the hair out of her face and lovingly stared down at her. "I need you, Wills. I desperately, desperately need you and I will always need you until I draw my last breath. There is only you."

She reached up and caressed his face. "Anders, you have me. I'm yours. No matter how much time passes before we see each other again, I will always only be yours."

"Same here," he replied as he grinned down at her, "Now tell me, exactly where did you learn how to do that?"

"A lady never tells," she purred.

"That was no lady's move," Anders chuckled.

"I told you that Nate and I enjoyed the pleasure of each other's company."

Jealousy surged through him, but he pushed it down. She had been honest with him. She had always been truthful with him with regards to sex and if didn't want to know he shouldn't have asked. "Well, I'm certain it was pleasurable, but Sweetheart there is a reason that mages have a reputation for being excellent lovers and I guarantee what I'm about to do to will redefine the word _**pleasure **_for you."

Anders didn't give her a chance to answer before his mouth captured hers with a hungry urgency and he pressed against her. Holding her, kissing her, the smell of her, inundated his senses and his head began to spin, his groin tightening again with raging desire.

She moaned his name as she pressed her hips into him even more. He kissed his way down her neck to the pretty little indentation between her neck and shoulder. He nipped and sucked the soft skin and smiled as she shivered against him with a soft whimper.

He slid his hands down her side to her hips and he pulled her roughly against his throbbing groin as he nibbled a path from the sweet, succulent flesh of her neck back to her ear where he captured the lobe between his teeth before returning to his original path down her neck, pausing to suck on her pulse point, making her hips buck as she gasped in pleasure.

"I knew what I wanted to do to you when I got you here this evening,"Anders growled as he lowered his head, sucked the tip of a breast into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the diamond hard nipple. "I've been fantasizing all day about all the ways I was going to make you cum."

Her body arched as he kissed and licked his way along each rib until he reached her stomach and his tongue against the tender flesh of her belly caused her muscles to quiver under his touch.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his fingertips trailing down her toned stomach to the apex between her thighs as he slid between her legs, her curls glisten from her desire. He ran his fingers along the cleft opening of her folds, and she trembled against him with anticipation. Anders lowered his head, flicked his tongue out and ran it from the taut bundle of nerves to her core and back and he groaned as he tasted her for the first time. She was sweeter than anything he had ever imagined.

Willa moaned as her hips rocked against his mouth with each long stroke of his tongue. Her fingers delved into his hair, holding him to her as she bucked her hips against his mouth. His lips closed over the swollen nub as he slid his finger inside her hot wet core. Using his other hand to hold her hips against the ground, Anders feasted upon her, using his lips, tongue, teeth, and fingers as he brought her to the edge time and time again, only to back off at the last moment, refusing to let her fall over, teasing her just as she had teased him, making writhe against him, begging him to end her erotic torture.

Anders continuing to caress the slick orb with his tongue as he sent an electric pulse through both his fingers and his tongue, she gripped the blanket, crying out in ecstasy as she arched into him, begging him for more. He looked up at her; she looked magnificent, her head thrown back, fist clenching the blanket, her back arched, he wanted to remember her like this forever. He closed his lips over her throbbing nub as he crooked his fingers to hit the spot that he knew would send her plummeting over the edge and sent another pulse through her. She cried out his name, he felt her walls convulse around him as his fingers continued to caress her from inside.

"Oh Anders… yessss!"

Anders continued to lick, suck and stroke her until every last tremor had escaped her body then he prowled up her body until he was level with her again and kissed her passionately, the taste of her still evident on his lips. She didn't back away, but allowed him plundered her mouth so exquisitely that she turned to warm butter in his hands.

"So how do you define pleasure now?" He sighed against her mouth.

He felt her lips curve into smile as she purred, "Anders."

He grinned as he pulled away from her, looked into her eyes that were shining back at him with such tenderness and love that he wanted to lose himself in those eyes for ever. "Willa, you mean everything to me. I never knew it could feel like this. I never understood what all the poets and bards were going on about until I met you. Wills, I lo..." she pressed her fingers against his lips, silencing him.

Her eyes were glistening with tears. "Don't. Don't say it. It's hard enough letting you go, but if you utter those words I won't be able to bare. Just know that I feel the exact same way about you."

Anders buried his head in the side of her neck as he fought back the tears. He didn't want to leave her, she meant the world to him and the pain that was coursing through him at the thought of walking away from her stole his breath away. She had brought him to life, she made him realize what it truly meant to be accepted for who you were, to be loved unconditionally and to give that kind of love in return. The time that he spent with her and all of the Couslands had shown him what it truly meant to be a family. Willa was his family and always would be. The brief time that they had spent together had changed him forever.

"Leanánn, you will always be the one and only lover of my soul, heart of my heart," Anders murmured into her hair as he pulled her tightly against his chest and the two of them drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

A few hours later Anders woke with a start. He looked up at the sky, the moon still sat high in the sky. They had several more hours before the sun rose. Anders tenderly shook Willa awake. She looked up at him dreamily.

"Willa, the sun will be up in a few hours. We need to head back."

"Hmmm, but you're so comfortable and warm. I want to stay right here curled up against you."

"I agree, but I would prefer to keep my manhood and I have a strong feeling your father...or your brother would remove it if they woke up just as I was returning you to the safety of their home."

She grinned up at him. "Yes, we must keep your manhood intact. I have definite plans for that."

"You do?"

"Oh yes I do!" She declared as she started to get up and get dressed. Anders reluctantly followed suit.

The castle was still asleep when they rode into the stables. They swiftly unsaddled the horses and groomed them before heading into the castle through the servant's back passages. Anders stopped her, pushed her up against the wall as he leaned into her. He kisses deeply before he says, "Willa, I should head back to my room..."

"No, it will be at least two hours before the castle is awake and I want to spend those hours with you in your arms," she insisted.

Anders was about to argue, but decided against it. What was the point? He was leaving tonight. He might as well enjoy every moment he could with her. "If you insist my Lady."

She brushes her lips against his. "I do."

They silently work their way through the dimly lit corridors to her room. Once inside she locked the door behind them as Anders stokeed the fire before both of them quickly undress and fall into bed in each others arms. The thought of taking her, tasting her one more time briefly crossed his mind before exhaustion claimed both of them pulling them into the Fade.

Anders was pulled from a sound sleep by a constant rapping at the door. He groggily looked around the sun filled room. Maker's breath it had to late morning. He flew out of bed and rushed to the door as Willa lazily sat up and looked around.

The moment the lock released the door flew open and Sofia rushed in. "Ser Anders...templars in the village...looking for an apostate," she said breathlessly.

Fear gripped Anders heart and for once it had nothing to do with his own safety. Willa rushed to his side and looked at her maid, "Thank you for letting me know this, Sofia, but I need to speak with Anders in private. Please let me know if you hear anything else."

Sofia curtsied, "Yes, my Lady." Then left the room closing the door behind them.

Willa turned to him. "Anders, you have to run. I will send word to the stables to have Mojo saddled up for you..."

"No," Anders said calmly.

"No! What do you mean no? You can't let them take you back to the Circle," she demanded.

"They aren't here for me...well, at least not yet. If they were they wouldn't be looking in the village they would have come straight to the castle. They are looking for Trent."

"Trent? Trent McAvery?" Anders nodded. Willa's eyes went wide. "He's a mage? You said he was a herbalist."

A sly grin curved his lips. "One of those half truths you're so fond of."

Willa didn't like having her own words thrown back at her and her brow furrowed as her lips turned into a pout. "So they are here for Trent, not you?"

"Yes, but Willa I can't run without him. I can't let them take him. He is too old to go into the Circle. It will destroy him," Anders argued.

She smiled tenderly at him. "I know, Anders. I wasn't suggesting that you leave him. I would never suggest that. I was just saying that as of now they are unaware of you which we can use to our advantage."

Anders shook his head as he began to stuff things into his backpack. "There is no _**we, **_Willa. You are a Teryn's daughter. Your name can not be tainted with magic. I will not pull you into this mess."

"You cannot expect me to stand idly by and do nothing!" She declared.

He smiled sadly at her as he stepped into her, pulling her into his arms. His hand slid around to the nape of her neck, his fingers entwining in her silky tresses as he drew her to him, his mouth slanting over hers in reply. Her mouth opened to him at once, stroking his tongue with hers and matching the urgency of his own kiss. His hand slid down her back pulling her roughly against him. This was it, this was goodbye and he hated himself for what he was about to do, but he could not allow her to become involved with the Chantry and the templars.

She moaned against his lips when he pulled away from her. He gently tucked a hair behind her ear before he cupped her face in his hand. "It's not in your nature to stand by and do nothing." He leaned down and kissed her nose as he cast the paralyzing spell freezing her in place. "I'm so sorry, Wills, but I can't let you become involved in this."

He flung his bag over his shoulder, grabbed his staff and headed for the door. He paused to look at her one last time. Her arms were outstretched as if she were still embracing him and her eyes were still shining with love. He knew that would change once the spell wore off. She was going to be furious.

* * *

**A/N - Moon Spirit Bay was inspired by Puerto Rico's Mosquito Bay. It is a shallow body of water with a narrow inlet that has 720,000 phosphorescent single-celled organisms that glow when they're agitated. It is considered one of the coolest places on Earth to swim! **

***Many heartfelt thanks to everyone that has favored, alerted and left comments for this story. ** *** On a slightly different note, in my story Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me my favorite scene from that story was in chapter 9. It takes places after a fight between Alistair and Josie and he asks for her forgiveness. I loved it that scene so much that I commissioned ElegantArtist21 on DeviantArt to create it. She did a fantastic job! I hope you will think so too. elegantartist21 dot deviantart dot com/#/d5ivjf6 (Remove the spaces and the word dot and add an actual dot.) ** **I hope that you will check out her page. She does beautiful work! **


	11. Chapter 11 Have A Little Faith In Me

**Chapter 10 - Have A Little Faith In Me**

"When your back's against the wall just turn around and you will see I will catch your fall,

Have a little faith in me, have a little faith in me, have a little faith in me

When the road gets dark and you can no longer see, let my love throw a spark,

Have a little faith in me, have a little faith in me, have a little faith in me

I've been loving you for such a long time, expecting nothing in return

Just for you to have a little faith in me, you know time, time is our friend

I will hold you up, I will hold you up, your love gives me strength enough

Have a little faith in me"

_Have A Little Faith In Me by Jewel_

_Stupid, idiotic, hero complex, templar obsessed, son of a filthy whore..._

The adjectives that continued to flood Willa's mind were plentiful and very colorful as she stood frozen in place looking as if she were about to kiss her imaginary lover. If Fergus walked in right now and saw her he would never let her live this down. However, instead of her brother it was Tyce that rushed into her room, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw her predicament. He quickly waved his hand releasing the spell. Willa, who had been leaning into Anders when he had cast it, stumbled forward into Tyce's arms.

"My Lady, what happened?" He asked as he caught her.

"Anders, paralyzed me to keep me from going after him to save Trent. Did you know? Did you know that Trent was an apostate?"

Tyce nodded slowly.

"Do you know that templars are in the village looking for an apostate?"

"Yes, I came here looking for Anders to warn him. Lady Willa, Anders was only trying to stop you from making a huge mistake. When the templars are tracking an apostate you do not want to interfere in what they consider their sacred duty. They won't care that you come from nobility, they could kill you and justify it by saying you were helping an apostate escape. Anders is only trying to protect you."

"And who is going to protect him?" Willa demanded as she stepped behind her changing divider and began putting on her armor. She selected the all black one with black cloak to help conceal her in the shadows.

"No one," the elderly mage said solemnly.

"Exactly. He went storming off without a plan, without resources and he is going to get both of them caught because he isn't thinking clearly," Willa exclaimed.

"You can't save him," Tyce said earnestly.

"The hell I can't," Willa yelled. "I am the only chance he has." She said as she stepped out from behind the divider sliding her daggers into place.

She stepped up to him, her expression hardening as she spoke, "I need you to gather as many lyrium and healing potions you can spare and meet me in the stables..."

"Lady Willa, I can't let you go off after..."

Willa glared at the old man. "I am going after him. I am going to free him. If you go to my father or brother, you know they will personally come after me and you will have single handily placed this whole family in danger. Do you want that burden resting on your shoulders?"

Tyce's eyes widened, but he continued to press the issue. "What about what Anders wants? He didn't want you involved. He wanted you as far away from the harm magic can bring. Do you have no respect for his wishes?"

Willa paused at the man's words, tears filling her eyes. "I have a great deal of respect for Anders' wishes and I understand why he doesn't want me involved, but I also know that his greatest wish was to never return to the Circle. He would rather die than go back to the prison that seemed determined to break him. I will honor _that_ wish. I will make sure that he can escape so that he can have a chance for a free life."

"No mage is ever free, my Lady," Tyce said sadly as he paused to collect his thoughts. "Anders is a very lucky man to have the love of woman so fiercely driven to see him remain free even if that freedom takes him away from her. You, my dear child, are the perfect example of unconditional love..I will met you in the stables with the items you requested."

Willa grasped the mage's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Thank you, Tyce."

"Let's wait till the end of the day to see if I deserve your thanks, my Lady" he said as he turned to leave her.

True to his word, Tyce had met her in the stables and gave her all of his supplies. He said that Anders would need them more than he did, besides he had enough herbs to make plenty more. Willa thanked him and then hugged him. The old mage seemed to be taken back in surprise, but eventually he returned the hug and made her promise to return home safe.

Willa headed out the back gate. It was longer, but there were fewer guards and the path couldn't be seen directly from the castle. She rode Taboo, but had Mojo tethered to her. This slowed down her progress, but she knew if she was able to free them they were going to have to quickly get away.

When she was just outside of Highever Village she found a grove of trees to secure the horses in so that they would remain relatively unseen. She slipped into the shadows and entered the borough. The small town was in a panic. The Highever guards were working hard to keep the peace and to maintain a semblance of order, but it was a difficult task and she understood why as she silently eased her way into the town square.

Two templars and Addie McAvey, Trent's mother, lay dead in the center of the market district. The first templar had a dagger protruding from his heart, the other looked like he had been blown up and Addie...Maker's breath, Addie had been decapitated. Willa had to cover her mouth to stifle the horrified cry that was rising in her throat. What the hell had happened here?

Fear gripped her at her mind clouding her vision and judgement. She leaned back against the building, trying to take slow, deep breaths as she begged the Maker to keep Anders safe. She was about to turn down an alley when she heard the distinct, deep voice of her father. She froze in place, pressing against the building as he, Fergus and Captain Ulric passed by her. She quietly fell into step behind them. Careful to remain cloaked in darkness. "Give me your, report Captain," Bryce said.

"Eight templars showed up this morning in the village looking for an apostate. Addie McAvey willingly turned herself in..."

"The village midwife was an apostate?" Fergus asked interrupting Ulric's report.

"Yes, it would appear so," the captain replied.

"Did you know this, Father?"

Bryce said nothing, but there was a slight curve to his lips. When it was apparent that he wasn't going to answer Ulric continued with his report.

"It would also seem that her son was one too although the templars were only aware of Addie. They had only come for her. If the boy had just remained calm none of this would have happened, but Trent seeing his mother in the hands of the templars refused to allow them to take her. He began shooting lightning and fireballs at them. One of the overzealous templars drew his sword and charged Trent. Addie pulled out a dagger threw into the chest of the knight that was closest to her then she cast some kind spell at the templar charging her son that caused him to blow up...that's where most of the mess came from. I'm afraid they will be finding pieces of him for quite a while," Ulric surmised.

"And how did Addie's head become separated from her body?" Fergus asked.

"Well, the templars didn't take too kindly to seeing one of their own made into tiny pieces. They quickly attacked and killed her. I do believe the Knight-Captain wishes to speak with you regarding the matter, your Grace," Ulric said.

Bryce nodded and then asked, "And what happened to Anders?"

"Well, after witnessing the death of his mother, Trent sort of went crazy and began casting every spell he knew. Anders grabbed the boy from behind, trying to get him away from the villagers, but the templars smitted both of them."

"So both of them are in the templars' custody?" Fergus asked.

"Yes."

"Damn it! That's just lovely. Well, thank the Maker Willa isn't here she would go crazy," Fergus hissed.

"You underestimate your sister, Fergus. That has always been you're problem where she is concerned," Bryce said calmly before turning his attention back to his Captain. "Where are they know?"

"Four of the templars have already left for the Circle with Anders and Trent. The Knight -Captain and one other templar are waiting for you in the Chantry," Ulric explained.

Bryce nodded his head. "Thank you, Captain, for your report. Will you please inform the Knight-Captain that I will be there shortly to speak with him?"

"Yes, your Grace," Captain Ulric said as he bowed then walked off in the direction of the Chantry.

Bryce turned in the direction of where she was standing. "Well, I do believe the templars are hauling off an innocent man and traumatized child back to the Circle."

"Anders is hardly innocent, Father. He is a wanted apostate," Fergus said.

"A wanted apostate who could have run away at any point, but stayed on in Highever to cure as many people as possible during the plague. Many of our people owe him their lives."

"I believe it was the charms of your daughter that kept him here, not some grand sense of duty to humanity," Fergus chuckled and Willa had to restrain herself from kicking him.

"I hope that they took West Hills Passage and not the North Road. The Passage maybe longer, but I heard the North Road received a large amount of snow last night," Bryce said as he turned toward the Chantry.

"I believe I heard Ulric inform the Knight-Captain of that just before they left," Fergus replied.

"Good, very good. Well, let's get this over with. It's freezing out here and I'm ready for a nice hot toddy," Bryce said as he looked over his shoulder in Willa's direction and winked.

Willa couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. Her father never ceased to amaze her. She quietly made her way out of the village and back to her horses. If they were heading on the West Hill Passage they should be fairly easy to track. She took off in the direction they would have headed. Even though she had a horse tethered to her she was still able to move quicker than four templars transporting two unwilling travelers.

Within in an hour she was able to spot their traveling party on the horizon. She moved off the main path and into the woods for cover. When she had caught up with them, she followed them in the shadows of the forest always maintaining large amount of distance between them. As the sun began to sink below the treeline the templars finally made camp.

Willa stopped about half a mile away from their camp, tied the horses to a nearby tree then silently moved through the forest toward their camp. When the glow of their fire came into view she nimbly climbed into a nearby tree so that she could survey her surroundings.

Anders and Trent were in the middle of camp both looked weak and disoriented. Anders had told her that when a templar smits them that draining their mana also drains their strength since they draw their stamina from their mana. He also told her that some of the other side effects are disorientation and nausea and in some mages it is physically painful although he had never experienced that.

There were two templars in camp closely guarding their prisoners. She looked around, but didn't spot the other two knights. She knew they probably had first watch and were walking the parameter which meant eventually they would have to walk underneath her tree. She just needed to be patient.

Willa waited for seemed like an eternity before she heard the birds in the distant trees begin to call out warning cries. The calls moved toward her growing louder. She scanned the forest floor below looking for signs of movement. She finally spotted the knight cautiously moving through the trees. He would take several steps forward before spinning to check his rear flank before continuing forward. The templar had been well trained, but he was still no match for her. As he passed underneath her, she began to count. She made it to three hundred and sixty when the second templar came into view from the opposite direction. She smiled.

"Perfect!" she thought with a smile. Their passes were six minutes apart that gave her plenty of time to incapacitate the first guard, tie him up and hide him before the second guard arrived.

She pulled her hood up to cover her face then slipped down to a lower branch; one that was high enough provide her with enough momentum to drive the templar to the ground, but low enough not to create a lot of noise. When the bird calls grew louder again she spryly she slid to the edge of the branch and quietly drew out one of her daggers. As the knight passed below her she slipped off the branch and landed directly on top of him.

Willa's weight drove the air out of the knight's lungs and he silently crumpled beneath her. Without hesitation, Willa pulled back her arm and drove it into the side of the templar's head, knocking him unconscious. She quickly pulled the rope at her waist free, bound both of his hands and feet. She was about to gag him when she heard the bird's calling out again.

"Shit!" she hissed at not having enough time to conceal the body so she did the next best thing. She pulled it directly into the oncoming templar's path then she slid into the shadows just as the second knight came into view.

He rushed up to his fallen companion and as he bent down to examine his fellow templar Willa emerged from the shadows, bringing the pommel down on the back of the man's head. He collapsed on top of his friend and Willa swiftly tied him up and gagged both of them.

"Two down and two to go," she sighed just as she felt the tip of the blade slide under her chin.

"Not so fast, my sweet thing," a voice hissed in her ear.

Willa didn't even think, she just reacted. She knew she needed to eliminate his range of motion. She gripped his knife hand firmly while her opposite hand struck back at his groin. The Maker was smiling on her because he had removed his codpiece while he had been at camp. He groaned as Willa shifted away from his body and pivoted underneath his knife arm twisting it as she spun out in front of him. His wrist and arm were now pointed toward the ground in a very unnatural position. Willa then turned back towards the templar's body, still firmly grasping his knife hand she slammed her free elbow down on the knight's upper arm. The bones in his wrist snapped and he screamed as he fell to his knees in pain. Willa brought down the hilt of her sword against the back of his head, temporarily relieving him of his agony as fell to the ground unconscious.

Willa bent down to tie the knight up when a loud cry came from the camp. Willa spun in that direction and through the trees she could see the fourth templar dragging Trent to his feet by his hair. He slid his dagger under the young boys chin as he cried out, "If you don't want me to slice this boy's throat you will drop your weapon and show yourself."

Willa drew both of her daggers. She didn't want to kill these templars. That would have the Chantry doubling their efforts to find Anders and hunt down the templar killer. At the same time if he left her no choice she would choose Trent's life over the templar who was now using the boy as a shield. She slipped into the shadows and nimbly moved through the woods so that the templars' back was to her then she began to silently advance toward him.

"I mean it. Reveal yourself or I will slit him from ear to ear," the templar threatened.

As Willa drew closer she could see the stricken look on Anders face, but he didn't look as drained as he had when she had first arrived. She picked up a stone and threw it to the templar's left side. The knight spun toward the sound still clutching Trent tightly against him, but his back was now to Anders. She agilely slid beside Anders and dropped a bottle of lyrium into his lap. His eyes widened with shock as he glanced around. He slipped the vial into his palm just as the templar spun again to face him.

"So one of your friends are trying to save you," he spat.

"I'm an apostate. I have no friends," Anders muttered.

"Well, that's for certain. They obviously don't give a damn about this boy's life," he growled as he began to slid the dagger across Trent's throat.

"Nooo," Anders cried out as Willa lunged for the templar's arm, pulling it away from his neck, but she wasn't quick enough and the blade opened a small wound in his neck, blood began to spurt out. Turning to face his attacker, the templar released Trent letting him collapse to the ground. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Anders open the potion bottle and drink it as he crawled over to Trent. She turned her attention back to the advancing templar that had thrown his dagger aside and opted for a rather large, long sword.

"Come sweetheart, let's see what you got," the templar bellowed as he swung the sword at Willa's waist. She easily leapt backwards missing the blade by inches. He growled and charged her again, but she rolled under his arm. As she came up behind him she slashed the back of his legs with her blade. It cut through his leather armor, but not deep enough to do any real damage. The man stumbled, but remained upright and turned to face her.

"Quick little thing aren't you," he roared as he began to circle her. He swung his sword low towards her knees, she jumped over the blade, twisted around to his side. Still not wanting to kill only wanting to incapacitate she delivered a hard blow to his back with the flat part of the short sword. He stumped forward, but remained on his feet, quickly spinning towards her, he once again began to circle her.

Willa concentrated on his body language so that she could read his attacks. He lunged, she parried, he swung, she blocked and when he lunged forward a little too deep she side stepped him, it caught him off balance, and she brought her blade down on his arm and shoulder. He growled as he swung his sword around and hit her in the back. She cried out as pain shot down her spin. The blow had knocked her down, but she quickly rolled onto her knees and crossed her sword and dagger above her head just in time to stop the templar's blow to her head. Pain lanced through her body as her vision began to blur. She was certain that if she didn't end this soon she was going to pass out from blood loss.

She heard Anders yell something in the background, but she had no idea what he said. She pushed off the templar's sword, rolled backwards and was quickly back on her feet. Not giving her a moment to catch her breath, he roared as he charged again, but Willa once again rolled under his charge and as she comes up behind him she delivered a powerful blow once again to the back of his knees. This time cutting more deeply, the knight staggered forward, Willa twisted around using his forward momentum she hit him in the back with the blunt side of the blade. The templar fall forward his sword flew out of his hand landing a few feet in front of him. The templar scrambled to reach for it, but Willa was there too quickly and kicked it out of reach. She placed her boot between the man's shoulder blades to steady him as she aimed and brought the hilt of her sword against his temple. The knight instantly went limp and Willa collapsed beside him.

"Willa," Anders cried out, rushing to her side, he scooped her into his arms. His eyes furrowed as he pulled out his hand from underneath her and saw her blood on them. Tears welled in his eyes as he buried his head in her hair. "No...no, Willa...please..."

Her head was swimming and she couldn't focus, but she tried to smile as his warm breath washed over her. "I-it's okay... if y-you can't heal me...I saved you..." She reached up, her fingers fisting into his hair.

Anders breath was ragged against her ear as he tried to speak. "It's not that I can't heal you Willa. It's that my mana isn't fully restored. The lyrium helped with Trent, but I need more."

"Trent...is he..."

"He's fine, but I don't have enough mana to h-heal you. I need lyrium," Anders cried out.

"M-my bag..."

"Where is your bag?" He demanded.

She tried to speak, but her tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of her mouth. She threw her arm back in the direction of where the horses were tied up. "M-mo..Mojo," she stammered.

Anders nodded in understand. "Trent?"

"I'm on it," the boy called as he raced past them.

Anders began to undo the fastens on her vest. She tried to speak, but her mouth refused to corporate. Anders smiled at her. "Save your strength. I know you were trying to make some comment about me just wanting to stare at your breasts and as much as I enjoy the sight of your beautiful..."

Willa shook her head. "T-trent." She muttered.

"Oh yes, I'm positive he will enjoy the sight of them too," Anders said as gently rolled her over and lifted her tunic.

"Bloody hell," he muttered as he packed cloth into the wound trying to stifle the bleeding. "What were you thinking, Wills?"

"N-no...C-circle," was all that she could manage.

"D-don't you know..." Anders voice broke as his emotions got the better of him. He drew in a deep breath before continuing. "Willa, I could endure the Circle as long as I knew you are safe and alive. T-the thought of you not being in this world..."

"A-anders," she stuttered, interrupting him. With his hand still holding the packing on her back, he tenderly turned her over so she could see his face. She knew that she had lost a lot of blood, her limbs were becoming cold and numb and she couldn't hold on much longer. With her last bit of strength, she reached up to run a finger along his cheek.

"I...I love you..."

"No! Don't you give up. Do you hear me? Fight Willa..."

"I got them!" Trent yelled as he entered the camp and raced over to them. The last thing Willa remembered was Trent bending down beside her before everything went black.

The sound of raised voices pulled her out the darkness that had surrounded her. "You have to go, Anders. You have done all that you can for her," a voice said sternly. It sounded so familiar, but her head was still groggy and she couldn't quite place it.

"She has lost a lot of blood. She almost died," Anders demanded.

"You have stabilized her and you confirmed that she can be moved back to the castle. She will be fine once she is there and Tyce can finish what you started," another voice familiar voiced stated trying to reason with him.

"No...I can't leave her like this," Anders cried out in frustration.

"Damn it, Anders, she did this for you. She risked everything for you and your freedom. Don't make her sacrifice be for nothing," the first voice argued and now she recognized it was Rory.

Willa opened her eyes and saw Anders standing toe to toe with Rory and Alistair; all three of their eyes blazing with anger and frustration.

"Anders," she murmured. He turned to look at her and then immediately fell on his knees beside her.

He tenderly brushed back her hair as smiled down at her. "How do you feel?"

"Like my back was sliced open with a sword," she muttered.

He chuckled. "I have applied a healing poultice, but you are going to be sore and weak for several days. You lost a lot of blood."

"Anders...you need to go. You need to take Trent and leave immediately. I brought Mojo for you. Take him, get to Amaranthine or Denerim and take a ship as far as you can from here."

"I-I can't leave you like this," he whispered.

"You have to. There is a very small window of opportunity here. In Mojo's saddle pouch there are ten sovereigns. That should be plenty to buy passage for both of you and to help you begin a new life," Willa instructed.

Anders leaned down, burying his head in her hair, she could feel his warm tears running down the side of her neck, "There is no life without you."

Willa brought her hand up, twisting her fingers into his hair. She always loved the feel of his soft waves entwined around fingers. "Anders...for now this is how it has to be. I know this now and you've known this all along."

She felt his lips lovingly brush up the column of her throat to her ear. "I'll come back to you. Somehow, I will find away, but I'll always come back to you, Leanánn."

He pulled back from her briefly as his arms enfolded around her, lifting her up to him and then his lips tenderly pressed against hers. Willa knew this was goodbye, she had no idea when or if she would ever see this beautiful man again so when his hand slid into her hair and he softly nibbled at her lower lip, teasing her mouth apart, she forgot that there was anyone else nearby and she lost herself one last time in the exquisite pleasure that only Anders' mouth could give her.

There was only Anders, only his warm, solid body, pressed against hers, his soft, moist lips full of tenderness and passion and his gentle, healing hands caressing and teasing her. With each stroke of his tongue, electric shocks rippled through her, with each caress of his hand agonizing pleasure scorches her flesh. Eventually he pulled away from her, both of their breathing erratic and ragged with need. Anders...only her Anders could turn a simple kiss into erotic bliss leaving her starving and craving for more.

"I-I need to go," Anders growled. His voice rough with emotion and hunger. Willa couldn't find her voice so she just nodded in agreement.

"Damn, now that's what I call a kiss," Rory chuckled from behind them.

"No wonder, there was no passion behind those lips when she kissed me. She was saving all of her best moves for Anders," Alistair added.

"I'm just surprised he didn't send a fireball up your arse after that display on the tournament field," Rory stated.

Anders smiled, but his eyes never left hers as he replied, "I was definitely tempted too."

He leaned down, kissed her forehead and whispered, "I know you don't want me to say this, but I nearly lost you today, Wills, and I can't leave you without telling...I love you. I will always love you. For me there, there is only you."

Willa brushed her lips against his. "I love you too, Anders."

He grabbed his bag and rifled through it until he found his sketch journal. He tore out two pages then he handed the journal to her. "Something to remember me by."

"I could never forget you."

"Me neither," he whispered then quickly kissed her again before he stood up. He slung the bag and his staff over his shoulder as he turned to Rory and Alistair. "Thank you for coming for her."

"You can thank Fergus the next time you see him. He knew she went after you and sent us to check up on her. Good thing we did," Rory explained.

"Take care of her for me," Anders said.

"I will. You have my word, " Rory replied.

"Come on, Trent, its time to go," Anders instructed.

"I don't get you, Anders. You leave her in a pond half naked obviously wanting you. Now you plant the end all be all of kisses on her and once again you're leaving her. I truly think your insane," Trent surmised.

"I do believe for once you're right," Anders muttered as he turned and with one last glance over his shoulder at Willa, he blew her a kiss then headed out of the camp toward Mojo with Trent following closely behind him shaking his head. Willa forced the tears back, afraid if she allowed them to fall she wouldn't be able to stop.

Rory's brow furrowed as he leveled his stare at her. "He left you half naked in a pond. I have to hear about this."

"You don't have to hear about anything," Willa shoot back.

"Oh yes I do! Unless you want me to mention it to Fergus."

"I'm glad to see that bribery and extortion happens even amongst the nobles. Kinda warms the heart," Alistair chuckled.

"Where have you been Chantry boy? Living under a rock? The nobles invented bribery and extortion. Its practically an art form to them," Rory shot back.

"It's true," Willa said in agreement as Rory and Alistair helped her to her feet and led her over to Taboo. They helped her into the saddle both of them quickly mounted their rides and moved up beside her.

"So Will, tell us a tale," Rory said with a grin.

Willa sighed, feigning exasperation, but secretly happy for the distraction so as she lead them out of the forest she told them about the pond incident secretly delighted to relive that happy memory of Anders again.

* * *

**A/N- I want to thank all those who have reviewed, alerted, favored and those who are just lurking. Please continue to share your thoughts with me, I love hearing from you. It always brings a smile to my face.**


	12. Chapter 12 Lean On Me

**Chapter 11 - Lean On Me**

"Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow

But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride, if I have things, you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show

You just call on me brother when you need a hand we all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'll understand we all need somebody to lean on"

_Lean On Me by Bill Withers_

Anders glanced at his cards then he over at the perky pirate who had a beautiful blonde sitting in her lap, both of them were only wearing their smalls. The only reason Anders still had his tunic and trousers on was because when he lost a hand at Strip Diamondback, which was often, instead of taking off his clothes the girls were satisfied...hmmm, satisfied might be an overstatement, the girls were appeased with the pulsating electricity that he would shoot through them. Both of them now were waiting with excited anticipation for his next play. Anders glanced over at the husky red haired man to his left. He was down to his smalls and one boot...Anders really didn't want to see much more of him.

He had been in Denerim for about four months hiding out at the Pearl. It really was the best place to remain inconspicuous; for the most part everyone minded their own business. When he and Trent had escaped they had started toward the Port of Amaranthine, but as they got closer to the city the templars had a larger presence so they turned south to Denerim. Anders had connected with the Mage Underground when they had arrived and they had helped him book passage for the two of them on a ship heading to Kirkwall. However, when the day came for them to leave Anders just couldn't do it. He knew if he left Ferelden he would never see Willa again and as long as there was a chance, no matter how slim, that he might be with her again he couldn't leave. So with four other mages, he sent Trent ahead of him, promising to join him soon, but from the way the boy had hugged him goodbye Trent knew he might never see Anders again.

"Come on Anders, we aren't getting any younger. Are you in or out?" The pirate wench asked.

"You can't rush these things Isabela. Rushing leads to poor decisions and poor decisions lead to missing clothes," Anders replied.

"We like poor decisions, don't we Lay Warden," Isabela purred.

"Yes we do," the pretty blonde replied as she grinned playfully at Anders.

"Well, I don't," the man said.

"Oh don't be such a party pooper Slim. You're spoiling the fun for the two of us," Isabela cooed.

"That's because Anders' little magic trick has a more pleasant effect on the two of you then it does on me."

The Warden leaned forward her breast nearly spilling out of her breast band. "I would have thought you have enjoyed watching the pleasing effects that his sparkly fingers have on us...its rather stimulating," she said in sultry voice.

Slim's face turned as red as his hair. "I-I...yesss, well that part is...rather interesting."

Anders chuckled. "Interesting? That's putting it mildly." He said as he shot a pulse directly at the girls' groins. Both of them threw their heads back and moaned. Isabella was gripping the table so hard her knuckles were turning white.

"I find that downright inspiring," Anders snickered as he waited for the girls to regain control of themselves.

"Yes, I can see your point..."

Slim was interrupted as a body flew by them, slammed into the wall next to their table and crumpled to the floor.

"That's why I come to the Pearl. They always have the best, free entertainment," Isabela laughed as they watched the scene unfold in front of them.

A rather large knight stalked over to the man on the floor, grabbed him and hauled him to his feet. "You're lying...you have to be lying."

"I wish I were Captain. I rode for two days straight to get here to deliver the message to you," the man explained.

There was something familiar about the knight, but it wasn't until he turned directly into the light that Anders recognized him. It was Captain Ulric of the Highever guard. The Captain released the man as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "How?"

"Readon Howe declared that Bryce Cousland was a spy for Orlais and conspiring against the Ferelden throne. He declared the whole family as traitors and attacked the castle."

Without even thinking Anders flew out of his seat. "What? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Ulric was about to yell at him to mind his own business, but paused when he recognized him. "Anders? I thought you were taken back to the Circle."

"Let's just say, I didn't make it back there and leave it at that." He turned to the messenger. "What happened to the Couslands?"

A agonizing look spread across the messenger's face. "Dead...they are all dead."

Anders stumbled back as if the messenger had hit him in the chest with a broadsword. "W-what do you mean dead?"

"I'm sorry Ser, but Howe's men raped and pillaged the entire castle. They left no survivors. Lord Fergus left earlier for Ostagar, but he hasn't been heard of since."

An image of Willa's beautiful body, broken, bloody and defiled flickered across his mind. The bile began to rise in his throat, Anders stagger for the door and threw himself into the alleyway just as he lost the content of his stomach. When there was nothing left to come up, he pressed his head against the cool brick wall, pain ripped through his body as his heart shattered. He tried to suppress his anguish, but a tormented cry ripped from his throat as he cried out her name.

He felt a warm hand rest on his shoulder. "Anders," Isabela said compassionately. "What can I do to help?"

"You can get me very drunk and then get me the hell out of Ferelden," Anders murmured.

"I would be happy to help with both," Isabela said as she slid an arm around his shoulder, lead him back inside and back to their table. Ulric was already seated there, his head buried in his hands and seated beside the captain was Rory.

Anders stared at him stunned. "Rory...what are you doing here?"

"The Captain and I were in Denerim on Highever business before we were to join the Teryn in Ostagar," Rory explained.

"Lucky for you," Anders said solemnly.

"No it isn't. I would have rathered died defending them," Rory muttered.

"Ostagar?" Slim asked.

"Yes, surely you've heard about the darkspawn gathering forces on the surface haven't you?" Rory asked.

"Wait, I thought Duncan said this wasn't a Blight," Anders replied.

"I guess he was wrong," Ulric snorted.

Isabela shifted in her chair uncomfortably. Anders knew she didn't like dark discussions bringing down her lighthearted mood, but honestly how she was going to make things lively when an entire family had been murdered was beyond him? However his curiosity was quickly sated when she Isabela ordered a bottle of Highever Whiskey and four shot glasses.

"I wish we had a picture of them so that we could toast them," Ulric muttered.

Anders reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out the two pictures he had tore out of his journal and placed in the middle of the table. Isabela picked up the family sketch he had done and studied it. Then she picked up the picture of him and Willa. She smiled and gave a low whistle. "My oh my, now she is a very tasty morsel."

"Was!" Anders said bitterly as he grabbed the picture out of her hand and put it back on the table.

"When an Highever person dies, it is considered a time of celebration, a time of remembering all the happy times of the departed's life. We do a shot in their honor and place the empty shot glass upside down by their picture. It is said that the dearly departed will look down from the Golden City, they count the empty shot glasses and know how many true friends they had in life," Rory explained.

Anders smiled sadly. "I like that tradition."

Ulric poured each of them a shot then lifted his glass. "To the Teryn and Teryna of Highever, two of the most honorable, loyal and just nobles I have ever had the privilege to serve."

They all raised their glasses and said, "Slàinte."

Ulric drained his shot then placed the glass upside down by the pictures in the center of the table. Isabela handed Ulric a new glass then refilled everyone else's.

Rory's hand shook slightly as he raised his glass. "To the Couslands, who believed in me, who accepted me as a friend and w-who loved me as a member of their family."

"Slàinte," they all said.

A pretty elven girl who was one of Madame Sanga's working girls. Anders knew her to be one of Sanga's most popular and therefore one of her most expensive girls, approached the table. "I didn't know most of the Couslands, but I knew Fergus. He was in here for his bachelor party. Against his wishes, all of his friends had paid for my services. He didn't want to join me in my room and it wasn't until Madame Sanga told him that she would take it as a grave insult if he didn't accompany me that he agree. Nothing happened between us, but we spent the night together talking, sharing stories and laughing. I had told him when I was a little girl I had always wanted a pet nug, but my mother refused to have one in her house. The next night, a man delivered a baby nug to me...W-wilbur is now eight years old and the best friend I've ever had," the girl said trying to control her tears.

Anders raised his glass, "To Wilbur who owes his cushy life to Fergus."

"Slàinte."

The rest of night they spent drinking, toasting and telling stories. Those in the Pearl that ever had an encounter with one of the Couslands, and there were many, joined in the remembrance celebration. Anders listened to the story, laughed and toasted the only family he ever knew. He wanted to talk about Willa, but he honestly didn't trust his voice to even speak her name. When most of the crowd had cleared out and and it was just the four of them, the pirate captain turned to him, gently laid her hand on his leg and said, "Tell me about Willa."

Anders felt his heart drop into his stomach and his eyes began to sting as he fought back the tears. He couldn't even form the words to reply to her and he silently thanked the Maker when Rory spoke up, "As you can see from Anders' sketch she was gorgeous, but once you meet her it wasn't her looks that made her memorable, it was the force of nature that was within her that made Wilhelmina Cousland unforgettable. She was the most vivacious, dynamic, spirited person I have ever met. She could be so charming. She could have you eating out of the palm of her hand one minute and turn around and sucker punch you the next because you touched her daggers."

Isabela burst out laughing. "My kind of girl. You don't mess with a girl's blades."

"The best was watching her and Fergus go at it. They were so entertaining," Anders muttered lost in his memories of her.

"Do you remember the time when Lady Willa was afraid that a demon that preyed on little girls lived under her bed," Ulric said suppressing a laugh as Rory nodded. "To scare her even more, Fergus dress up as some kind of monster, crawled under her bed and waited for her to go to sleep. Just as she started to drift into the Fade he moaned, shook her bed and said, 'I want to taste the flesh of little girls'."

Rory was laughing so hard he was holding his side and stuttering as he spoke. "N-now, most little girls would run out the room screaming for their parents, but not Willa. She gripped the hilt of her dagger that she kept under her pillow, eased out of bed, flipped her mattress off its frame and stabled Fergus twice before he convinced her it was him and not a demon."

"Thank the Maker, for Tyce. He saved Fergus' life that night," Ulric laughed.

"I think that is why the Teryn employed Tyce in the first place, it was to keep his children alive," Rory laughed.

"So, I take it Fergus and Willa hated each other?" Isabela asked.

"No!" All of them exclaimed at once.

"There was definitely a sibling rivalry between them, but they loved each other fiercely and would do anything to protect each other," Ulric explained.

Anders and Rory looked at each other and in unison said, "The Vault." As the incident had become known as.

"What's the vault?" Isabela asked.

Anders smiled at Rory, "It's your story only you can do it justice."

So Rory launched into his tale. When he had finished it was Isabela's turn to be laughing so hard her sides hurt. "Damn, I really wish I had met her. She definitely sounds like my kind of girl."

"She was, Isabela. The two of you would have gotten along famously," Anders muttered.

"And what did she mean to you, Anders?" Isabela asked.

"Everything," he sighed. "She was everything to me...she still is."

Anders drained his glass of ale then stood up, picking up his pictures as he did. "Its been a long day. I think I'll head to bed."

"We leave on the high tide tomorrow morning. Meet me at the docks about an hour beforehand," Isabela instructed.

Anders nodded and headed back to his room. He quickly undressed, slipped into bed and opened the picture of him and Willa. His finger tenderly touched the curve of her cheek. This was the picture that he had drawn of her the day they had spent under the Willow Tree. The day that she refused to take no for an answer. The day that she had slid into his lap and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. In was in that very instant he knew he was hopelessly lost to her and now that she was gone he was just hopelessly lost. Anders crushed the picture to his chest as he grieved for her and her whole family.

The following morning Anders was at the docks bright and early as instructed. Isabela was on deck issuing orders when she spotted him and smiled. "Glad to see you can follow orders."

"Only when it suites me, my dear pirate wench. So do I have permission to come aboard, Captain?"

"Permission granted."

Anders was halfway up the gangplank when a voice bellowed out from behind him.

"You there! Apostate! Halt!"

He looked up at Isabela, who was going for her sword. Anders shook his head as he turned to face the templar. He groaned when he realized it was Templar Roanoke. She had it out for him ever since he had turned her down for sex years ago. Anders maybe a lot of things, but sleeping with enemy was not in his play book. She had taken the rejection rather hard and proceeded to ride his ass every chance she could.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite Templar. What brings out from under your rock this early in the morning?" Anders mused as he felt Isabela ease up behind him.

"Friend of yours?" She whispered.

"Oh yes, I'm good friends with all the Chantry templars especially the sadistic, psychotic ones," Anders retorted.

"Shut your mouth, you filthy apostate," Roanoke snapped.

"Well, isn't she just as warm ray of sunshine," Isabela hissed in his ear.

"This one is as cold as the north side of a witch's tit," Anders surmised.

Isabela chuckled. "Does that mean the south side is warm?"

"Anders, your days of running are over. I'm here to take you back to the Circle and make you pay for your crimes."

"Crimes? What crimes?"

"For the two dead templars up in Highever," she retorted.

"What? That wasn't me! It was Addie McAvery and there are witnesses who saw the whole thing," Anders declared defensively.

"I know of no witnesses. Now, get your ass down here."

"Anders, just follow my lead," Isabela hissed in his ear as her arm slid around his neck and he felt cold steel pressed against his throat. She began to back up the gangplank taking him with her.

"Sorry Sugar, but this little play thing is mine. You can't have him," Isabela called out.

"You are harboring an apostate. An act that is punishable by death. Release him and I guarantee no harm will come to you," Roanoke countered.

Isabela laughed. "Oh really? You and what army is going to try and take me?"

The templar smiled coldly at them. "I do believe that you are out numbered Captain Isabela." She raised her arms and dozens of templar rose from the nearby rooftops. Their arrows trained on them, their flaming arrows trained on the sails of the ship. Even if they could escape the arrows the ship would never make it out of the harbor.

"All of this for one mage. What did he do, turn you down for sex?" Isabela chortled.

Roanoke's face flushed a vibrant red as her knuckles turned white from the firm grip she had on the pommel of her sword.

"How did you know?" Anders asked.

"No one does vengeance better than a woman scorned," Isabela stated.

"Isabela, you have to let me go. You are outnumbered. Your ship will never make it out of port," Anders said.

"But Anders..."

"No, you don't want the Chantry chasing you all over Thedas. I appreciate the gesture, but you need to release me into their custody."

"Are you sure about this?"

"No...not really, but to many people have risked their lives to keep me free. I can't let you do the same."

"This isn't some kind of stupid suicide ploy is it? Because you lost the love of your life its now death by templar," she asked.

"No, I give you my word. I would much rather be leaving with you than with them, but this is the only way you and your crew make it out of here alive."

Isabela dropped pulled the dagger away from his neck. He turned to face her. "Thank you for trying to get me away from her. You have been a good friend."

She quickly embraced him and just as quickly released him. "Take care, Anders."

"You too, Captain."

Anders turned and slowly walked toward his inevitable fate.

**xxXxx**

Alistair stared across the fire at Willa, watching her toss and turn in her sleep. She was plagued with another nightmare, he just wasn't sure if it was a darkspawn one or a family one. He had been shocked when Duncan had brought her to Ostagar and even more stunned when he had learned the fate of the Cousland family. He had liked them. They had been unlike any other noble family he had ever met. They were kind, fair and open minded and they had a great deal of respect for the Grey Wardens.

Alistair had been initially attracted to Willa. Who wouldn't? She was gorgeous, but after that kiss on the tournament field he realized that they would never be anything more than friends. There had been absolutely no chemistry between them. Oh, he still thought she was beautiful, but in a way that a brother begrudgingly admits his sister is pretty. He was as protective of her as a brother something she openly chastised him for, but secretly enjoyed because it reminded her of Fergus.

However, as far as friends go, there was no doubt to anyone in their party that they were extremely close. Maybe it had to do with the fact that they knew each other before Ostagar, maybe it had to with the fact they were the only two Wardens left in all of Ferelden or maybe it was because they were both grieving and could understand the others pain. Whatever the reason they had become very dependent on each other and a tight bond had formed between them.

Despite the bond that they currently had their relationship had started out a bit rocky. He had been depressed and mourning the events and losses of Ostagar. She had been grieving not only those losses, but the loss of her entire family. When she had turned to him to help make the decisions regarding their quest he had refused to take on the leadership role even though he was the senior warden. To him, Willa had been born to lead, raised with a military minded father who had taught her how to fight. He on other hand had been born the unwanted bastard son of a King who had been raised in a barn and who been taught to fight, but never given the confidence that was required to lead men into battle.

When he had thrust the leadership role onto her she had been more than angry at him, she had been disappointed in him and truthfully that had been more painful than if she had verbally berated him. When he had suggested that they go to Redcliff to see Arl Eamon, Willa had pressed him to explain his reasonings for going there first instead of the Brecilian Forest since both were relatively the same distance from Lothering. He couldn't logically lay out why he thought they needed to go Redcliff and the more she pressed him the more frustrated he became until he finally threw up his hands in defeat and told her to do whatever she wanted to do.

She decided to go after the Dalish first; partly because she was concerned that with summer approaching they might move further north, but he also had a feeling she did it to teach him a valuable lesson. To her every plan was strategic, calculating and had a logical reason behind it. If he was going to propose an idea he needed to be able to explain his reasons behind it.

The night in camp after they had defeated werewolves and had the Dalish's word that they would join in the battle against the darkspawn, Willa had approached him wanting to give him the chance to redeem himself. She asked him where he thought they should head next. Alistair had been prepared for this. He astutely explained that they should head to Redcliff because Arl Eamon had an army, he was popular with the both the nobles and the commoners and he would want to hear the details of what happened to his nephew, the king, at Ostagar. Once he explained his plan, she smiled, patted his leg and said, "Now as that so hard?"

From that point on they had a mutual understanding of each other and together they planned and strategized their decisions. They worked together as a team, they learned from each other and helped each other come to terms with the epic task that was ahead of them.

Willa was no longer the free spirited, young girl he had met back in Highever. The girl who had broken into vaults just for the challenge no longer existed. The murder of her family and shouldering the responsibility of an entire nation's survival had caused her to grow up quickly. She had willingly risen to the task, a role that she was born for, but the cost had been high. She had harden herself, closing off the most vulnerable parts of her so that she could lead them, so that she could make the hard choices that nobody else wanted to make. In the process a part of her had died...her innocence. Maybe she had just lost too much, too soon. First there had been Anders, then her family and then the betrayal and death of her new family, the Wardens. There really was only so much a person could rebound from, but he still prayed that given enough to truly heal that the vivacious, young girl from Highever still existed. Alistair glanced over at the looming tower that sat in on an island in the center of Lake Calenhad. They were here to save one little boy when hundreds were dying all around them. Her decision to come here to try to save the Arl's son gave him hope.

The assassin sauntered up to her and glared over at him. "Are you just going to let her toss and turn like this all night?"

Letting Zevran live had been the only thing that they had completely disagreed on. Their argument still rang clearly in his head.

_"Willa, you can't be seriously considering taking this assassin with us," Alistair challenged._

_"Why not? He is willing to swear an oath of loyalty to me. He is obviously skilled..."_

_"Not to skilled, Willa, he did fail in his mission to kill you," Leliana pointed out._

_"Well, I am a rather formidable opponent so I can't hold that against him."_

_"And a sexy one too," the assassin added._

_She smiled. "Thanks for noticing."_

_"Well, my dear, it's hard not too."_

_"Look Alistair, he is a skilled assassin. We need him."_

_"We need him, like we need a case of Blight Disease," Alistair retorted._

_"We can't get Blight Disease."_

_"You know what I meant Willa."_

_"Fine Alistair, you want him to die so badly then you kill him," she suggested._

_Alistair glared at the assassin and then back at Willa. "Fine, you win, but you might want to make Morrigan your official taster."_

"Restless sleep is better than no rest at all," Alistair replied coolly.

"But you aren't even trying to console her," he said as she slid down beside her and tenderly stroked her hair. "There, there, mi cosa dulce. It's alright."

Willa relaxed, her body falling back against the bedroll. Alistair rolled his eyes, but said nothing. The few times that he had seen glimpses of the the young spirited Willa had been when she was with Zevran. The charming assassin had a way of making her relax and getting her to open up. Alistair enjoyed seeing her more carefree, but he hated that it was the elf that had able to occasionally bring that part of her alive again.

"See Alistair, all it takes is a man who knows how to properly comfort a woman," Zevran purred.

"Whatever," Alistair said as he rolled over on his bedroll to try and get some sleep. He had a feeling he was going to need all of his strength for the tower.

The moment that they entered the Circle, Alistair felt how thin the veil felt. Something was seriously wrong here. Knight Commander Greagoir greeted them and explained that the tower had been overwhelmed with abominations and demons. This didn't sit well with Willa.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Knight-Commander, but isn't the purpose of the templars to prevent mages from becoming abominations?" Willa asked in condescending tone.

"Yes, but..."

"So you basically failed in your duty," Willa interrupted putting the Commander on edge.

"Look, we did our job, but these damn mages are out of control. I have sent for the Rite of Annulment we can not take any chances," Greagoir retorted.

"The Rite of Annulment? What is that?" Zevran asked.

"It gives the templars the right to kill all of the mages inside the Circle," Alistair said with disgust.

"What? Are you insane? What about the innocent mages in there?" Willa asked.

"There are no innocent mages. Besides everyone in that tower has to be dead or turned into abominations," Greagoir countered.

"You don't know that. You have to at least check. You can't condemn all of them like that."

"I'm not about to send my men in there..."

"But that's your damn job!" Willa exclaimed.

"If you want to go in there be my guest."

Willa rolled her eyes. "Fine open the damn doors."

"You can't be serious?" Greagoir asked.

"Well, someone with a pair of balls needs to make sure that if anyone is alive that the innocent aren't condemned to a horrible death. Obviously you lack the equipment, so I'll do it, but I want your word that you will help fight against the Blight when this is all said and done," Willa demanded.

"You have my word. Open up the doors," Greagoir ordered.

They had cleared out the apprentice quarters and were about to head up the stairs to the main hall when a loud moan echoed from across the room. Willa turned and headed toward the stairs that lead down beneath the Circle.

She turned to Alistair. "You were in the Circle when you were in training, weren't you?"

"Briefly, I spent most my time studying in the Denerim chantry," he replied.

She pointed down the dark corridor. "What's down there?"

"I believe that is the dungeons," Alistair replied.

Another moan echoed off of the cement walls. "Everyone grab a torch, we are heading down there," Willa said as she pulled a torch from a sconce and started down the dank, musty stairs.

They emerged into a narrow hallway lined with cells whose floors were a mixture of cobblestone and dirt. Once Willa's eyes adjusted to the dim light she started down the path, checking each cell that she went by. She was about halfway down corridor when her torch light flashed on a body curled up at the back of the cell. She handed Zevran her torch and she quickly went to work on the locks with her picks. A groan drifted down from a cell further down.

"Leliana, can you and Sten see where that noise is coming from?"

"Yes," Leliana said as she drew her dagger and started down the hall.

Willa continued to work on the old rusty lock, moments later there was a click and the door swung open. Willa walked over and rolled the body over. Blank, lifeless eyes started up at her, but she checked him for a pulse anyways. When she felt nothing she gently closed the mage's lids.

"Aaaah Will...I think you need to see this," Leliana called out.

Willa stood and swiftly walked to the cell door that the bard was still working on. Willa looked inside and gasped. Alistair and Zevran stepped up behind her and stared dumbfounded into the cell. Every inch of the stone walls were covered with the sketch of one face; a face that was illustrated expressing a multitude of expressions. In some of the drawings the face was happy, some sad, some fierce, some laughing and Alistair swore some were expressions ecstasy.

"Maker's ass, mi ángel mortal, all of those portraits are you," Zevran said.

Willa didn't reply, her eyes were staring intensely at the body at the back of the cell as her breathing became very rapid and her mouth tightened with rage. A head of blonde hair was streaked red and Alistair could only assume it was blood. The man's back was covered with dozens of lash marks some deeper than others, all of them in various stages of healing and not from magic, but by the old fashion way that wounds healed. Unfortunately, it didn't look as if the wounds had been tended to and even from outside the cell Alistair could smell the distinct odor of infection.

"Leli, get that door open now," Willa demanded.

"I'm almost there..." there was a loud click and before Leliana could even move out of the way Willa rushed into the cell, bent down and gently rolled the mage over. A moan tore from Willa's lips as she took into the bruised, bloody and broken face of the man she loved.

"A-anders," she whispered.

* * *

**A/N- You're spanish lesson for the day - Mi cosa dulce - my sweet thing, mi ángel mortal - my deadly angel.**

***Thank you to everyone that has added this story to their alert and favs list. I also want to thank everyone that took the time to review. I love hearing your thoughts and I hope that you will take a few minutes to fill out the little box below.**


	13. Chapter 13 Numb

**At times this story will take on the darker aspects of the DA world, aspects that I normally don't take a hard look at, but in this story I've decided to explore them in more detail. The overall story won't be dark, but several of the chapters will be. This will be one of those chapters. I just wanted to warn you. **

**Chapter 12 - Numb**

"They say life is a battlefield, I say bring it on, if you wanna know how I feel, live it till it's gone

I'm just saying that what don't kill, only makes you strong, if you don't recognize what is real

Then forever is a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long Time

Some things never change here we go again, feel like I'm losing my mind

Shake it off, let it go, I don't care anymore, just go numb

You never know until you let go, let's go numb, I can feel you now

Keep on doing the same old thing and you expecting change

Well is that really insanity or just a losers' game?

I only trust in the things I feel, some may say that's strange, you better recognize what is real

Cause forever is a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time"

_Numb by Usher_

Anders had been shocked by the lengths to which Isabela had gone to save him. He had only known her for a few months, but she had risked the wrath of the Chantry in order to keep in him free. People like Isabela and the Couslands had restored his faith in humanity and if he hadn't met them he would never have believed that there were people in the world that could see him as a human being and not some dormant monster just waiting to be unleashed on the world.

Roanoke had been true to her word, she had allowed Isabela's ship to leave port without incident, but he knew that he was the object of the templar's true sadistic desires not Isabela. On the way back to the tower, she had been on her best behavior in front of the other templars, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to herself. She had picked her moment when they were alone to make cutting or degrading remark, but Anders knew this was only the beginning. She was only biding her time until she could get him alone in the dungeons where she would have free rein over him with no prying eyes.

In the past she had used whips, knives, fire and anything else at her disposal to pay him back for not wanting her, but in the time that he had been away from the tower she had decided to get creative. When they had arrived at the tower she had him thrown into his cell wearing nothing, but his smalls. She had waited several day before she came to visit him. She yanked him down to the ground so that his back was pressed against the cobblestone floor then she tightened the chains of his shackles so that he couldn't move. She stood over him grinning as she began to unfasten her armor.

Anders smiled maliciously at her, "Honey, I guarantee seeing you naked isn't going to do a damn thing for me. A brontos dirty ass has a better chance of making me hard."

"Come now Anders, you act as if you have a choice in the matter. I guarantee you don't, but if you're a good boy, I'll even let you enjoy it!"

"Enjoy it! Being flayed alive would be more enjoyable than having sex with the likes of you," Anders retorted.

She ignored his insult as she pulled out a slender container and waved it front of him. "This magical concoction is a salve created from herbs for the sole purpose of getting a man hard and keeping him hard."

Anders felt the color drain from his face, but he still tried to remain composed. "Wow Roanoke, that's desperate even for you. I'm sure if you actually asked around there has to be at least one crazy idiot in this place that would willing be your love slave and if they couldn't get it up for you that ointment might come in handy."

"Anders, tonight isn't about you willingly fucking me. I have plenty of men willing to do that..."

"Somehow I doubt that," Anders muttered.

She glared at him with such malice that he actually flinched under her gaze. "Anders, tonight is about power and control; which I have and you don't!"

Anders felt his blood run cold. Actually this was about Roanoke mentally and physically trying to break him. Rape in the Circle wasn't unheard of, but it was uncommon. Knight -Commander Greagoir ran a very tight Circle. He didn't stand for fraternization with mages. When on the few occasions Greagoir had caught wind of templars abusing their authority over their charges he dealt with those involved swiftly and harshly in order to set an example for the other templars. That didn't mean that it didn't still happen.

What was unheard of was a female templar forcing herself on an unwilling male mage. Most men would willing comply with a female templar's desires because beside the sex there were perks that went along with screwing a templar. Anders knew that mages who were involved with them received the best duties within the Circle, they were granted time in the outside herb and flower gardens and they received extra _study_time in the library.

When Roanoke had approached him years before expressing her desires to start an affair with him, Anders had turned her down without hesitation. Even if she had been pretty, which she wasn't, she actually had a face that could make an onion cry, he would have turned her down. He just couldn't bring himself to have sex with someone he considered his enemy, someone who was his oppressor and abuser. She must have come to that conclusion on her own and had decided this would be the way to finally break him.

She bent over him, yanked his smalls off and straddled his hips. She ran her hands over his chest and then she pinched his nipples hard twisting at the same time. He winced from the sharp pain.

"I can understand why all the women in this tower are constantly falling over themselves for you. On the outside you're a beautiful man, but on the inside you're nothing, but a filthy, disgusting, soulless mage."

Anders looked up at her completely dumbfounded. "Then why are you so desperate to fuck me then if that is how you see me?"

"I told tonight isn't about sex, its about power and control," she hissed as her hand slid down his stomach to his groin and she gripped him in her cold, clammy hands. Anders felt his balls literally seize against him as he fought back the bile rising in his throat.

"I-I don't mean tonight," he choked trying to ignore the feel of her hands on his body. "I mean years ago when you first approached me. If that is how you saw me or all mages for that matter why would you want to perform such an intimate act with someone you despised and consider soulless?"

"I was a young, naive girl when I approached you, but I have since seen you for who you truly are," she hissed as her hand began to work the salve into his cock and despite trying to will himself not to get hard, the ointment worked its magic, the blood rushed into his groin filling him and he watched in horror as he grew hard in her cold, pasty hands.

Anders closed his eyes, trying to picture he was anywhere, but here. Her hand slammed against his face, his eyes flew open, stinging from the tears that her hit had caused. "You will keep you eyes open. I will not let you slip into some happy memory of you screwing some mage whore," she hissed as she drew out her dagger and slowly drew the blade down his stomach. It wasn't deep, just a surface cut, but it stung like the Void.

"Every time you close your eyes, I will cut your flesh open. Understand?"

Anders nodded.

"That's a good boy. So you can be taught," she purred as she gripped him harshly before she slid down on him burying him inside her.

This time he couldn't stop the bile from rising, he turned his head and heaved. Her sadistic laughter rang in his ears and his stomach wretched again. Maker, he had never truly hated anyone in his life until this very moment, but if his hands were free he would take great pleasure in choking the life out of her.

As she moved against him he focused on a white spot on the ceiling above her head. He wanted to take comfort in his memories of Willa, but he refused to allow thoughts of her to enter his mind when something so heinous was being done to him. He would not let this horrible moment tarnish her memory. So he began to mentally recite every spell he knew and the perfect application of it for Roanoke.

As she rode against him, he didn't move with her, he just laid there, he didn't make a sound even when she cut and bit him. He remained silent, lost in his fantasies for vengeance. When she was done with him, she quietly got up, dressed and left without a word.

That night he found a rock in his cell and drew his first portrait of Willa. As he sketched out her pretty face against the cobblestone, he lost himself in his memories of her. He was no longer in the Circle's dungeon, he was lying in a field with her, riding in the meadow behind the castle, walking and talking with her or making love to her with his mouth. The longer he sketched the more lost he became in his memories and he almost reached a point that he forgot that she was dead.

Roanoke returned to him with the salve for the next ten nights, but he didn't say a word, he didn't groan once; no matter how many cuts she made on him. His lack of response to her must not have been the reaction that she had wanted and when she came to him on the eleventh night she decided that good old fashion torture might be the better route. To Anders waterboarding would have been better than having sex with her.

She strung him up against the wall, his bare back exposed to her. She stepped back and cracked the whip against the floor. The sound reverberated throughout the cell, Anders tensed in anticipation of the first lash. He heard the crack of the whip again and this time a split second later felt it slash across his back. Searing pain rippled through him and a cry of agony ripped from his lips.

She laughed menacingly from behind him. "Oh, so its pain that makes you cry out. How many lashes will it take before I have you yelling my name?"

"Never, you can strip the flesh from my back and still I will never cry out your name," Anders growled.

He heard the crack again just before the blistering pain struck his spine like lightening. Anders cried out as he wrapped his hands around the chains in an attempt to ground himself, he forced breath into his lungs trying to clear his head. He dimly heard the crack again and nerve-shattering anguish pierced his flesh like a dagger. He felt the his skin open as warm liquid began to run down the small of his back. The whip cracked again and again until Anders felt his knees buckle, finally giving way to the agony. If he had not been chained to the wall he would have collapsed to the floor in a bloody heap. Despite his cries of pain, she was relentless and Anders no longer heard the crack of the whip or her cackling laugh, he only saw Willa's beautiful face, smiling at him, welcoming him into unconscious bliss.

The beatings had continued on and off again for over a month, but Anders never caved. He never gave her the satisfaction of yelling her name or begging her to stop. Then the beatings stopped altogether, the templars also stopped making their daily visits to drain his mana. Despite how weak he was and the excruciating pain he was in he managed to heal himself a little each day.

Anders knew something was seriously wrong when the templars stopped bringing them food and water and for the first time Anders felt true fear. At most, thirty days was how long the human body could go without food, but he would only last a few days without water and the effects of dehydration would set in within twenty-four hours. His mouth already felt as dry as contribution box.

He surveyed his surroundings, there was a slow drip from a leak in the ceiling. Anders placed the cup that had been filled a day ago with water underneath the drip. He laid back down from pure exhaustion. The slow, but steady ringing sound of the water hitting the metal cup finally lulled Anders into the Fade.

He wasn't sure how long he sleep for, but the dry, burning sensation in the back of his throat had pulled him out of a restless sleep. His lips were practically glued together and the inside of mouth felt like it had been filled with paste. He lifted his head and pulled the cup over. Shit, it was only half full. He quickly drained the cup, but it was too little to actually provide any relief from the burning in his throat. This wouldn't be enough to sustain him for very long. He was actually just prolonging his inevitable death. When he thought about it, would dying be so bad? Not really, he would see Willa again, he would be able to hold her, touch her, feel her in his arms.

"Anders," a soft sultry voice purred from across the room. Anders lifted his head and standing in the doorway was Willa. She wore a sheer white night shirt...his shirt and through the thin material he could tell she wore no breast band or small clothes; her pert nibbles and the outline of the dark batch of hair between her leg were visible through the flimsy fabric.

She glided over to him, her long red tresses flowing behind her, she knelt beside him and caresses his face. "Anders, my love, I'm here."

Anders reached for her, pulling her to him and breathed her in. The scent of Highever Jasmine and vanilla inundated his senses. He knew this was hallucination, sever dehydration could play trick on the mind, but he didn't care. At this moment he had Willa back where she belonged. He was so lost in his delusion that he didn't even care when he felt the veil tear open and the screams above him began. He didn't know how long the screams lasted for, it could have been hours, days or even a week he only lived for his next hallucination.

He heard her voice calling out to him again, but it sounded so far away this time. So he kept his eyes closed, too tired to pry them open. He felt her hand against his cheek and neck. It felt so real, so warm and soft and he smiled. This was going to be a good illusion.

"Anders, can you hear me?

Anders forced his eyes open. Unlike his other hallucination this time she looked dirty, sweaty and a bit bloody as if she had been fighting Fergus in the sparring ring. He reached for her face to wipe a smug of mud off of her nose and was shocked when his finger made contact with her. She felt so real. He raised hand to her face, he cupped her cheek as his thumb stroked her lips.

"This is a good illusion. The best one yet. You feel so real, so soft and warm," he murmured.

"I am real, Anders," she said as she leaned him forward, and pressed her flask of water against his lips. He drank greedily from it. It tasted so good. He had never tasted anything more divine. She gently pulled the flask away and a moan escaped his lips. She laughed. "Take it easy, you're going to make yourself sick."

If she was real then he must really be dying and she was here to led him into the Fade.

"Are you my angel? Here to guide me to the Golden City?" Anders murmured.

She clasped his hand in hers and kissed him. "I'm no angel, but I'm here to get you out of here."

"No, you have to angel...you're dead, Wills...Rory...told me about Howe."

She laughed humorlessly, "The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated."

Then she leaned down and tenderly pressed her lips against his. Anders would know her lips anywhere. They felt wonderful and tasted so sweet. He wished he had the energy to truly explore her mouth properly. When she pulled back he stared up at her dumbfounded. She was real, not a hallucination, not an angel, she was real and she was alive.

"I would know those lips anywhere, Leanánn," he whispered then using the last bit of his strength he pulled her down to him, burying his head in her hair, breathing her in, trying to comprehend that she was alive and in his arms. "I-I thought you were dead Wills..." His voice cracked from the wide range of emotions he was feeling. She was alive! "I grieved for you...I thought I would never see or hold you again."

"Who in the Void is that?" An elf whispered to Alistair.

"That, my assassin friend, is the reason you will never lure Willa into your bed," Alistair said smugly. Anders could tell by the Warden's expression he wasn't really fond of the elf.

Anders was having trouble believing what he was seeing and feeling. His mind had played one too many tricks on him over the past several days. He fisted his hands into her hair and pulled her away from him so that he could look at her. "You're real…right? I'm not hallucinating."

She leaned into him a pressed her lips against his once again. "Did that feel real to you?"

"Maker's breath, yes, but I do have a very good imagination." Anders dug down deep, found the last reserves of his energy, he cupped her face and pulled her to him once again. His mouth parting hers, kissing her deeply, tasting and exploring her completely. When his energy waned he broke away, falling back against the floor, sighing, "You taste even better than I remember."

She smiled tenderly at him as her hand stroked the side of his face. "Anders, what happened to you? You were supposed to leave Ferelden."

"I-I couldn't leave. I knew if I did I would never see you again."

"Aaah, that's so sweet." A pretty redhead said from behind them. She looked around his cell her attention focused on all the portraits he had sketched of Willa. "Did you draw all of these pictures of Willa from memory?"

"Yes," Anders replied, his eyes never leaving Willa afraid she might disappear before his eyes.

"That's very impressive," the perky redhead stated.

"I am particularly fond of this one," the elf purred as he pointed to the one with Willa's head thrown back in what was an obvious a look of pure ecstasy. "She has the most exquisite expression on her face."

Anders hardened his stare at the assassin, pulling Willa even tighter against him. He was beginning to understand Alistair's dislike for him, but Anders wasn't about let him think that his comment got under his skin. "Its one of my favorites too, but the expression is even more exquisite when seen in real life."

Zevran chuckled. "Oh that I have no doubt. I do believe I'm going to like you...well at least once you don't look like a Hurlock used your face for target practice."

The redheaded laughed, "Yes, Zev, only likes the pretty people."

"What can I say? I like to surround myself with beautiful things and people," he chortled.

"I thought we were here to save the saarebas," a rather large qunari growled.

"We are, but first we need to get him out of here. Anders, I know that you have escaped from the tower numerous times. Is there a way to get you out of here through the dungeons?"

Anders nodded. "Yes Wills, but I'm too weak to move or to even heal myself."

"Have they drained your mana?"

"Yes, they were doing it on regular bases until their attentions were called elsewhere. It's returning to me, but due to the extent of my injuries I haven't been strong enough to cast any truly powerful healing spells," Anders explained.

"If I found you some lyrium and healing potions would that help?"

He sighed, "It would be a great start."

"Leli, Alistair, go back up to the mage's quarters and see if you can find any lyrium and healing potions. Sten, Zevran I need the two of you to find something you can use to make a stretcher so that we can carry him out of here."

There was an air of authority to her as she issued orders and her companions followed them without hesitation. It was clear she was no longer the innocent seventeen year old girl that he had left in Highever. The things that she had witnessed, the experiences that she had been through had matured her and hardened her. She had become the capable leader that she had been raised to be, but there was pain hidden under that facade of confidence and Anders wanted nothing more than to help her unload the burden that she had been carry and to ease her troubled mind.

Anders grabbed her hand, pulling her back to him. "Please don't leave, if you do, I'll think this is just another one of my hallucinations."

"I'm not going anywhere until I can get you out of here safely."

It had taken him several hours to heal himself to the point that he could be moved. Willa, had asked Sten and Leliana to get Anders back to the camp so that Morrigan could help him with the heal. They were about to head back up the stairs when Anders grabbed her, pulling her back to his side. "Willa, be careful. I don't have a bloody clue what they are doing up there, but the veil is torn. As long as it remains open and there are mages to possess you will be in for the fight of your life."

She kissed him, then backed away, her face taking on the hardened expression that he had never seen before.

"I'll be fine Anders. This is what I do." With that she spun on her heels and headed up the stairs leaving Anders feeling completely bewildered by the young woman she had become.

That had been three days ago. It had been a slow journey back to their camp and he was grateful that it wasn't far once they had crossed the lake. The moment that he entered the camp Kismet jumped on him and licked him fiercely, completely overjoyed to see him again. From that point on the war hound never left his side, tenaciously guarding him.

Morrigan was an above average healer, but I was definitely not her preferred school of magic. Although, she had been helpful enough until his own strength had sufficiently returned and he could properly heal himself. Where the Witch of Wilds true talents lay were in herbs and potions. She had created a salve that helped minimize the scars on his back and sides and as much as he hated to admit it he was vain when it came to his appearance so he was extremely grateful for the aid, however her bedside manner was severely lacking.

Leliana was the one who nursed him back to health. In the three days since their return to camp she brought him food, water and kept him company while they waited for the others to return. It was during this time together that she brought him up on current events and what had brought Willa to the circle. When she had told him that Willa was a Grey Warden, Anders was not surprised, but he was angry that this life had been forced on her. She deserved so much more than a life filled with battles, blood and death, but as Leliana had pointed out it was better than the alternative. Given the two choice he was grateful that Duncan had conscripted her.

Leliana also enjoyed sharing a little gossip about her fellow companions. The pretty redhead causally stated that Alistair and Willa were as thick as thieves. The two of them were always going off alone to discuss Grey Warden secrets. Anders was none too pleased to hear about that, but she quickly assured him that the two Wardens had a strictly platonic relationship and there was glint in her eyes when she said this that told him that she was hoping for more than a platonic relationship with Alistair. Leliana had also mentioned that she had a feeling that Willa was grooming Alistair, instructing him the a tutor might instruct a young noble, but she had no idea why.

In his cell, Anders had picked up that the elf was interested in more than just a friendship with Willa. He had noticed an easy camaraderie between the two that made Anders uneasy. Leliana did confirm that the two of them had chemistry and despite the fact that he had tried to assassinate her they had become instant friends. Anders was shocked and angered that Willa had so easily trusted a man that had been sent to kill her.

Leliana mentioned that although Zevran would like their relationship to be more than friends Willa never let it go beyond that. She had smiled at him and said now she understood why. Anders appreciated the reassurance, but he didn't need it. He knew how Willa felt about him. In that cell, even through his pain induced haze he could feel that the bond between them was as strong as ever. He wished that she would return. He wanted talk to her so that he could see for himself how she was truly doing.

It was dusk before they returned and there was a new companion with them, Wynne. Anders had always liked the senior mage. She was an excellent spiritual healer and when he was in the Circle Anders had learned a lot from her.

They all of them looked completely drained and exhausted. Willa had a few minor cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. He cast a rejuvenation spell at the group and they all smiled gratefully at him. Willa announced that she was heading down to the lake to wash up. She grabbed a towel, her clothes and headed down the path. Anders followed her.

He sat down on the edge of the shore and watched her undress. Her body was lean. She definitely wasn't eating enough. Her muscles were also more toned than they had been since he last saw her. Obviously a result of fighting on a daily bases. Another consequence of those battles was her once flawless skin now carried the remanences of battle in the form scars that hadn't been properly healed. It didn't matter though, she was still perfect to him.

She silently slipped into the water and images of her at Moon Spirit Bay flickered through his mind. That was the last time that Anders remembered being truly happy. My how both of their lives had drastically changed since that night.

Wordlessly, she got out of the water. She was as shameless with him as ever, not a hint of modesty and Anders stop himself from watching in awe as she dried off. Her moves just as graceful and elegant as he remembered. How many nights he had laid awake, aching for her believing that she was dead and that he would never see her again. He still couldn't quite believe that she was live and she was here with him.

She slipped on a tunic and pair of loose fitting trousers then she slid in between his legs, rested her head on his chest. His arms immediately wrapped around her pressing her tightly against him, his hand lovingly caressed her back. He held her like that, wordlessly comforting her, for a while before he noticed the steady rise and fall of her shoulders as she noiselessly wept against him. He tenderly stroked her hair then kissed the top of her head before pulling her back so that he could look at her.

He cupped her face, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "Wills, you don't have to be strong for me. I'm here. Draw your strength from me."

"I've missed you so much, Anders. I've been so lost since you left and even more so since that night. I don't know who I am any more, but having you here with me, once again, I feel whole and more grounded than I have since that horrible night."

"Let me in, Wills. Talk to me. Tell me what happened that night."

She chuckled sardonically. "And you want me to tell you about that night stone sober?"

"Yes, you need to talk about it and you need to do without the mask of alcohol."

"Fine, I'll tell you what happened if you tell me what they did to you in that tower."

Anders tensed. He tried to think very little about what had happened in the tower, but now his mind flooded with the memories of all the degrading things that Roanoke had done to him. She had humiliated him and she had nearly broken him. Anders never wanted Willa to know about those things. Logically, he knew he was the victim, he wasn't to blame for what happened to him, but he still felt ashamed by it and he feared that Willa would look at him differently if she knew the truth. Not to mention, he honestly didn't think he could possibly put it into words and even if he tried he knew he couldn't get through it without breaking down.

Willa sensed his hesitation, she looked up at him and compassion flooded her face. She reached up and tenderly stroked his cheek. "How about this, I will tell you about that night if you promise me when you're ready you will tell me about what happened to you in that tower?"

Relieved, he smiled as he leaned down and kissed her. "Its a deal."

She let out a long sigh and then began, "I was woken up in the middle of the night by the castle bells ringing and Kismet was barking viciously at my door wanting to be let out. I sensed something was wrong so I put my armor on and grabbed my weapons. My door flung open as one of the servants ran in to warn me, but he was shot from behind with an arrow... I-I fought my way through Howe's men as I tried to get to my sister-in-law and nephew."

She paused, taking in a deep breath as she collected her thoughts. "When I pushed open the door to Oriana's room I...I was horrified. Those bastards had slit Oren's throat and they'd raped and brutalized Oriana before they k-killed..." Willa's voice hitched and she paused again to collect herself.

Anders pulled her tight against him, reassuring her that he was here for her.

She returned the hug, clinging to him tightly as she continued, "M-my mother ran in behind me, she broke down when she saw them. I got her out of there as quickly as I could, telling her we needed to find my father. We had to fight our way through at least a dozen of Howe's men as we made for the larder, to the servant's exit. In every room we went through those monsters had savagely murdered the men and raped, tortured and killed the women..." She paused, images of that night washing over her and she shook against him. "Sofia, Tyce, Nan...all murdered."

Grief washed over him as he thought of the elderly mage that had risked everything to offer Anders a safe haven. He didn't deserve to die like that, none of them had. This had been the family's close friend, their ally and the betrayal of that trust was beyond measure.

"I never realized that people could be so utterly cruel and inhuman to each other. I was so naïve."

Anders knew first that man was the cruelest mammal of all. Animals in the wild killed to survive, humans killed for sport and pleasure. Her innocence had been one of the things that Anders had loved most about her and he had wanted desperately to protect. Rage coursed through him at the savage way that her innocence had been stripped away from her.

"Only human beings can truly inflict that kind of cruel pain," Anders replied kissing the top of her head.

She nodded then forced herself to go on. "When my mother and I got to the larder, we found my f-father..." Her voice broke. Anders knew she had been exceptionally close with her father. His death would have been the hardest for her to come to terms with.

"H-he'd been wounded so badly, there was bleeding so much, I-I knew he was dying. Duncan found us a few minutes later. My father asked Duncan to get my mother and I to safety. Duncan said he would, if he had my father's permission for me to join the Grey Wardens."

"Duncan conscripted you while your father was dying?"

"Yes, I think my father agreed because if I didn't leave with Duncan and I had made it out of there alive I would have gone after Howe and I would probably be dead by now."

Anders nodded in agreement. She was silent for a while before continuing, "My mother refused to leave my father's side. Even knowing that she would die there with him, she refused to leave him...I never respected her more because I would..."she left the sentence unfinished.

"Because you would have done the same thing," Anders said finishing for her.

She nodded as she buried her head in his chest. Anders just held her, comforting her and taking comfort from her. He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but it was well after the sun had set before that they made their way back to camp.

* * *

**A/N - Sorry for the delay in this chapter, but my Assassin's Creed III obsession got the better of me and all of my free time went to playing. **

***Reviews are like crack...please feed my addiction by filling out the little box below. **


	14. Chapter 14 Vulnerable

**Chapter 13 - Vulnerable**

"Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in because it's cold outside, it's cold outside

Share with me the secrets that you kept in because it's cold inside, it's cold inside

And your slowly shaking fingertips, show that you're scared like me so

Let's pretend we're alone and I know you may be scared

And I know we're unprepared, but I don't care

Tell me tell me, what makes you think that you are invincible?

I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure

Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable. Impossible

I was born to tell you I love you. Isn't that a song already?

I get a B in originality and it's true I can't go on without you

Your smile makes me see clearer, if you could only see in the mirror what I see"

_Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade_

Seeing Anders in that cell; bloody, broken and delirious from dehydration and malnutrition only fueled Willa's anger towards the templars as she set out from the dungeons with a fury so vile that it would have given an archdemon reason to pause and take notice. However, as she went through the tower, seeing abomination after abomination, templars imprisoned by demons her rage waned as sympathy for both sides began to bloom. What those mages had done in the harrowing chamber was an atrocity against man and the Maker, but if what the templars had done to Anders was any indication of the horrors that mages dealt with on a regular basis then those mages had been driven to that point after years of abuse. One thing was clear as Willa emerged from the tower - things on both sides needed to change or it would only be a matter of time before this happened again only on a much larger scale.

Her entire group had been both mentally and physically exhausted when they entered camp, but the sight of Anders looking health eased her mind. She went to him, he enfolded her into his arms, drawing her tightly against his chest and for the first time since the attack on her home she felt truly safe. She needed to be alone with him and take comfort from him so she announced that was going down to the lake to clean up.

Anders wordlessly followed. He sat on the banks of the lake silently, almost reverently, watching as she undressed and slipped into the water. He leaned back on his elbows his eyes focused on all of her movements as she cleaned off the aftermath of battle. When she was done, she slowly walked out of the pond the water cascading off of her as she advanced toward her clothes which were on the ground beside him. His eyes darkened with desire as she got dressed, but he remained silent. She slid in between his legs, his arms wrapped around her and she sighed as she relaxed against him. She found peace in his embrace and in his arms she was once again home, safe, secure and loved. She hadn't even realized that she was crying. He kissed the top of her head before cupping her face, tilting her back, forcing her to look at him. His warm, golden brown eyes melted the walls that she had built around herself and she just want to lose herself in the comfort and security that he always gave her.

"Wills, you don't have to be strong for me. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Draw your strength from me."

"I've missed you so much, Anders. I've been so lost since you left and even more so since that night. I don't know who I am any more, but having you here makes me feel more grounded."

He tenderly ran his thumb over her lips. "Let me remind you who you are, but you have to let me in Wills. You have to talk to me. Tell me what happened that night."

Anders was the only person she wanted to share the events of that night with. He was the only person that she trusted enough to completely open up to and become the vulnerable girl that had fought her way out that castle because she wanted to live, because she wanted the chance to once again be in this beautiful man's arms.

"I'll tell you what happened that night if you tell me what they did to you in that tower."

Anders eyes darkened with a mixture of anger and fear. It was the fear that made Willa uneasy. In all the time that she knew him, even when he faced going back to the Circle she had never seen fear in his eyes. His hand trembled slightly against her back as his breathing became erratic. She didn't know what exactly had happened to him, she had an idea, but the one thing she was certain of was that it had been bad and that he wasn't ready to talk to about. So before she told him about the fall of Highever Castle she made him promise that when he was ready he would open up to her about what they had done to him. He agreed. Than she drew a deep breath and told him everything. He held her, wiped her tears when they came and grieved with her over the loss of her family and friends. Eventually, once she had composed herself into the strong leader her companions knew her to be, they made it back to camp where Leliana a prepared a meal that smelled divine.

Both of them grabbed a bowl of stew then settled down near the fire. Willa could feel Zevran studying the two of them and she braced herself for the onslaught of questions that she knew was about to come.

Zevran took a swig out of Antivan brandy before he passed the bottle to Willa who did likewise and Anders eyed her curiously. She had never been a big drinker back in Highever, but lately she found the numbing effects of alcohol very soothing. She took several more swigs before she passed it off to Anders.

"So tell me, dear Wizard, why did it take you so long to make our fair maiden moan? And as a follow up question, how long did it take for you to learn the difference between a real moan and a fake one?"

Anders choked and spitting the brandy out that he had just drank, but he recovered quickly as he eyed Willa curiously. He was probably wondering what she had told the elf about their relationship. It wasn't much, but Zevran was cunning and it wouldn't have taken him long to deduce in the few things that she or Alistair had let slip that she had been the one that pursued the reluctant mage.

Anders snickered at the assassin then cast a pulsating shot of electricity at his groin. Zevran doubled over and moaned. "About that long!" Anders snickered.

Alistair and Leliana burst out laughing.

"Tell me Zev, was your moan real or fake?" Willa chuckled.

"Joder! I-it was real," Zevran groaned. "Anders, you have to get more ass than a chamber pot with a trick like that."

"It did come in handy in the Circle," Anders replied. His eyes still scrutinizing the assassin.

"I'm sure you're a hit with the ladies and a few of the men at parties," Zevran purred.

"I'm not much of a party goer. Didn't really get a lot of invitations in the tower," Anders replied dryly.

"But I'm sure when you were in Highever, the women had to be literally throwing themselves at you. Who wouldn't be with a those kind of talents? We just met and I want to throw myself at you," Zevran said with a smirk.

"Watch out, Anders. Zev likes to take his pleasures where he can find them," Alistair chuckled.

"Life is too short not to. So it would seem that we have the same tastes when it comes to where we find our pleasures. At least we have that in common," Zevran said as he turned toward Anders while his eyes roamed over Willa. "Isn't that right, amante secreto?"

Willa felt Anders tense beside her, but before she could reply Anders leaned toward the assassin. "The only secret lover you have is the one in that overactive imagination of yours, but you keep dreaming. 'Cause the only satisfaction you'll be receiving from Willa will be in your fantasizes and with your right hand," he stated cooly.

The whole group burst out laughing even Zevran. "How do you know I use my right hand for such activities?"

"You're right handed. Most men use the hand they are most comfortable with," Anders smirked.

Zevran laughed. "Handsome, observant, smart and witty, now see why I haven't been able to lure you to my bed, Dulzura."

"Is the male pissing contest over?" Willa asked.

"There was no contest, Will. A contest would infer that Zevran actually stood a chance with you and we all know that couldn't be further from the truth," Alistair chuckled a satisfactory tone in his voice.

The drinking and friendly banter continued late into the night. Exhaustion finally overtook Willa and she fell asleep in Anders' arms. She was faintly aware of him picking her up, carrying her to her tent and undressing her. However, the moment that he drew the covers up over them and pulled her against him she quickly drifted back into the Fade.

The next morning the sun was streaming through the canvas of the tent warming the inside up. Willa slowly drifted into consciousness, the warmth of Anders body still curled around her. His right arm was draped over her waist, her tunic had ridden up during the night and his hand now rested on her bare stomach. His other arm was curled underneath her head, his hand had slid inside her shirt and was cupping one of her breasts through the thin fabric of her breast band. His thumb occasionally caressed her nipple in his sleep.

She could feel the length of his body curled against hers, his groin pushed up against the curves of her bottom. He was hard as rock. She smiled as she teasingly she pushed into him, rubbing against him. A low groan rumbled from his chest as he unconsciously pressed even harder into her, the heat and heaviness of his erection nestled in the groove of her buttocks as his thumb encircled her taut nipple, his touch sent a fire licking through her veins awakening fierce hunger.

Still in the Fade, his hips subconsciously pushed into her, his length sliding sensuously against her. Liquid heat began to pool between her legs and a yearning to feel this man move between her legs was starting to grow out of control. It had been too long and she needed to feel his touch, his caress on her body.

He moaned in his sleep as he rolled away from her onto his back. Not wanting to wake him just yet, she gently turned on her side, leisurely looping her leg over his as she pressed her pelvis against his thigh, her arm slip down his bare chest and came to rest across his stomach just above his pelvis. Her fingers played with fine hairs for a moment before her hand slid further down, she grasped his hard length and his body jolted. Her hand closed around him, through the thin material of his smalls, she ran her thumb back and forth across the sensitive tip. He moaned out her name as his hips thrust into her hand.

She nibbled a path up the side of his neck to his ear, she captured the lobe between her teeth. She licked and sucked at his ear as she slowly, gently rocked her pelvis against his thigh, creating the most delicious friction. She felt him come awake, his body went completely still as the haze of sleep slowly wore off.

"Mmmm, Anders," she moaned as she slid on top of him, pressing her core into his hard cock. Anders was rigid, he didn't move, didn't touch her, he just laid beneath her frozen.

She pulled away and looked at him, utter fear stared back at her. She gently touched his face. "Anders, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he whispered a hint of panic in his voice, sweat forming on his brow.

"Anders, this isn't nothing. What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," he said as he gently pushed her off of him and sat up.

She reached for him, but he flinched away from her touch. Willa's heart began to race. She knew this reaction had nothing to do with her. It had everything to do with what they had done to him the tower and she was beginning to have a clearer understanding of the extent of their heinous torture.

She sat back on heels and looked at him. "Anders, I'm not going to hurt. I would never hurt you."

He looked up at her. "I-I know...I know you wouldn't. I'm sorry. I was just having a bad dream."

She looked tenderly at him, but in a stern voice she replied. "Don't lie to me. It was clear that your nightmare didn't begin until you woke up. Your body reacted normally until you became conscious. I told you that I would be patient and wait for you to tell me about what happened in the dungeons. I meant that, but please don't lie to me."

Anders eyes filled with tears as he looked at her and her heart broke at the lost look he had in his eyes. "I'm so sorry Wills...Its not you, its me...the fucking Circle! They had to destroy the one good thing in my life."

She wanted to reach for him, to hold him and comfort him the way that he had comforted her last night, but she was afraid to touch for him for fear he would flinch away from her again. "I know that you've been through something very traumatic. I also know that time is the only thing that is going to truly heal this wound, but Anders they can only destroy what we have if you let them."

Anders reached for her, pulling her into his arms. He buried his head in the side of her neck. "I can't lose you," he whispered.

She twisted her fingers in his hair, kissing the side of his cheek. "You could never lose me. I'm not going anywhere, Anders. I'm here to help you through this anyway I possibly can, but as you said to me last night, I can only do that if you let me in."

"I-its so demeaning...so shameful...You'll never be able to look at me the same way again...And I don't think I could stand it if I saw pity in your eyes."

She cupped his face, as she tenderly stroked his cheek with her thumb. "Anders, I love you. I know you and the man that you are. You are warm, compassionate, loyal to fault, you are kind and loving. You are one of the bravest men I know. I watched you stand up for a young boy even though you knew it might cost you your freedom. Nothing you could tell me would ever change my opinion of you."

He clung to her tightly, his head buried in her neck, she could feel his warm breath on her skin. "A templar...s-she wanted to show me that she was the one that held the power and control...that I had none. She wanted to degrade me and humiliate me because I had rejected her advances years before...she had a salve made...it was a special salve that when applied makes a man hard...even if he doesn't want to be."

Anders perched his lips as he collected his thoughts. "Roanoke...she...Mmhmm applied it to me against my will and then she proceeded to have sex with me. For ten nights she forced herself on me...She was right... she showed me that she held the power and I was helpless to stop her."

Willa's heart ached at the pain that was in Anders voice while at the same time she had never felt so outraged in her entire life and so powerless to do anything about it. "Anders, you aren't to blame here. This isn't your fault, you did nothing wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of. She is the one that abused her power and authority over you. She stripped you of your mana and left you defenseless. She is a sadistic monster. You are innocent."

Anders pulled back and stared into her eyes for a long moment. She knew he saw anger, love, compassion, but there was no pity. She could understand why Anders didn't want her pity or anyone else's for that matter. When someone is pitied, they stop being a human being and they come an object that is broke, a problem that needs solved or a sad story that serves as a warning. Anders was none of those things and he had too much self respect to allow others to see him in such a light. She respected him immensely for that. She had been on the receiving end of those pitied looks when people recognized who she was and heard how tragically her family had been slain. She would never do that to him.

"I love you," he sighed against her lips.

Before she could reply, Zevran stuck his head, "And how are recently reunited love birds doing?"

"Zevran, get out!" She growled.

The assassin feigned a look of shock. "Sex is supposed to make you blissful. What did you do wrong, Anders?"

"I mean it, get out now!" Willa exclaimed.

"Fine, I'm going Warden Cranky Pants," Zevran said as back out of the tent muttering as he went, "Magic fingers, my ass."

"I need to go help breakdown camp," Willa said once they were alone again.

Anders pulled her into his arms. "I know... Willa, I want you to know that earlier that wasn't your fault. I was having a really great dream about you, but when I woke...its just when you were on top of me...memories of her flashed through my mind..."

Willa pressed her fingers to his lips. "Ssssh, its okay. You don't have to explain. I understand."

He kissed her fingers. "I just want you to know that I still want you...I desperately do. You were the only thing that kept me sane."

Willa giggled. "Thinking I was an angel is your definition of sane?"

"Relatively speaking yes, that was me sane with dehydration hallucinations," he chuckled.

"Remind me not to be around if you ever really do slip over the edge..." Anders laughed as she paused to collect her thoughts. "Look Anders, I know its going to take time. I'm not in any rush. Its perfectly fine to go as slow or fast you want."

Anders chuckled. "Oh you're not, huh? 'Cause from the dampness between your legs you didn't seem perfectly fine. You seemed rather...eager," he said with a smug smirk.

"Amongst the panic you still managed to register my physical condition?"

He gave her a lopsided grin; the one that always made her weak in the knees. "Sweetheart, no matter what state of mind I'm in I am always well aware of your physical condition."

"Good to know," she whispered as she kissed him then headed out to help the others.

It had taken them two days to reach Redcliff Castle. Anders had spent both nights in her tent, sleeping pressed against, holding her, but he never took it beyond cuddling with her. She knew this had nothing to do with her and he needed time to come to terms with what had happened in the tower, but damn if she wasn't horny. Just seeing him had that effect on her, but being near him and not touching him was driving her insane...her definition of insane, not Anders.

When they arrived at the castle they were immediately escorted into the throne room.

"Welcome back Lady Cousland, you are like a warm ray of sunshine," Tegan said as he took her hand to kiss it.

Willa smiled, "Thank you, Teagan."

"And day without sunshine... is like...you know..." Alistair stuttered.

"Night," Zevran stated dryly.

"Exactly," Alistair confirmed.

"First Enchanter Irving has arrived. Are you ready to perform the ritual?" Teagan asked.

"Yes, we are," Willa replied.

Anders had volunteered to go into the Fade after the demon to save Connor while Irving, Wynne and Jowan performed the ritual. Willa wasn't crazy about the idea of Anders going into the Fade. He was still getting his strength back from his ordeal in the Circle not to mention mentally he was still fighting his own inner demons. However, when Willa voiced her concerns, he had pulled her aside and argued that he would never volunteer to go into the Fade if he wasn't strong enough to handle it; so she had agreed. Still she couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped her lips when both Anders and Connor emerged from the Fade unscathed.

With Connor now safe, there was still the issue of awakening Arl Eamon. After much debate they all agreed that the best hope the Arl had for recovery was the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Teagan had suggested that they start their search in Denerim. There was a Chantry scholar there by the name Brother Genitivi who could help in their search, but Teagan insisted that before they head for the Capitol that they spend a few days at the castle recovering from their ordeal at the Circle. Willa couldn't agree more. She had been pushing her companions pretty hard and she knew a few days of rest and relaxation would do wonders for their moral.

"My Lady..." Willa raised an eyebrow at the Bann and he chuckled before correcting himself. "Warden, Nevaeh will show you and your companions to your rooms."

"Once again, thank you Teagan. I appreciate your hospitality," Willa replied.

"For all that you've done for my family and for what you've committed to do, its the least I can do."

Willa bowed then turned to follow the tiny elf when Irving pulled her aside. "Warden, can I have a word with you?"

Willa nodded and followed him into a nearby alcove. The First Enchanter seemed nervous, but he wasted no time before diving into the conversation. "Anders...he escaped from the tower with you?"

Willa just nodded.

"You know that they will come after him. Once Greagoir feels the Circle is secure they will come for him," Irving stated matter-of-factly.

Willa looked at the elderly mage, "Are you going to cause problems? Do I need to conscript him?"

Irving shook his head. "You will have no problems from me. However, the only thing that will save Anders from being forced back into the tower is to put him through the Joining or get him out of Ferelden. We both know that the secrets of the Joining died at Ostagar. I know the basics of the ritual, but not all of the details of the spell. I can research it for you, but it will take me time. Time you don't have." He studied her face for a moment. "But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, am I?"

Willa shook her head. "No, I've known this since I rescued him from the dungeon."

Irving rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Willa, if you love truly love him get him out of Ferelden. I don't believe he will survive another trip back to the tower."

After seeing Anders physical condition when she had entered his cell and his mental one since he had been out she couldn't agree more with the First Enchanter. "You have my word, I plan on putting Anders on the ship out of here when we arrive in Denerim."

"That's good to hear...and for what's its worth I'm sorry."

Not trusting her voice, she just nodded.

"I will research the Joining ritual for you, Warden. When the Blight is over you are going to have to rebuild your Order."

"Thank you, First Enchanter. I appreciate that."

Lost in her thoughts, Willa quietly made her way back to her room. She had just got Anders back and now she had to prepare herself once again to let him go. How was she supposed to do that again?

When she arrived at her room, she asked for a hot bath to be brought in. Then she wrote a quick note to Anders and asked the hand maid to deliver it to him.

When the tub arrived Bann Teagan escorted it in. Willa smiled at him, "I didn't realize that when I requested a bath that it came with its own personal Bann. Are you going to scrub my back for me Teagan?"

Teagan laughed. "With all that you've been through my Lady, I'm glad to see that your flirtatious nature is still intake. It would have been a sin if Howe had robbed the world of your playful spirit."

"Howe has robbed the world of many things, a crime he will pay for, but he has yet to rob me of my humor," Willa replied.

"Of that I have no doubt. The reason for my visit is that last Twelfth Night your mother sent Arlessa Isolde a basket filled with soaps, shampoos, oils and lotions made from Highever Jasmine, vanilla and spices. Isolde asked me to give it to you as a thank you for Connor and she hoped that it would bring you comfort and fond memories of home," Teagan explained.

Willa lifted the bottle of shampoo out of the basket, removed the cork and sniffed. Memories of being with her mother in the fields picking the Jasmine to make her famous soaps and shampoos flickered across her mind. The emotions from those memories were accompanied by a sudden sense of loss and she fought back the tears that stung her eyes.

Her reaction must have been visible because Teagan immediately responded by stepping forward and touching her arm. "My Lady...Willa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up painful memories. A merchant in the village makes a lovely rose soap, I can get..."

"It's fine, Teagan. It was unexpected and the memories associated with this soap just caught me off guard. I want to use this. It was thoughtful of Isolde to remember this. Please thank her for me."

"I will. I also took the liberty of having your armor cleaned and your clothes washed. I'm sure you do not wish to run around the castle naked so I had Nevaeh bring a few of Isolde's dresses up."

"Bann Teagan, how is that you have remained single all this time? You would make some lucky lady a very good husband," Willa observed.

Teagan chuckled. "Is that a proposal, my lady?"

"You wouldn't want me for a wife, Teagan. I would make you old and gray well before your time," Willa teased.

"Indeed you would. I've watched you grow up Lady Willa and I can say with complete sincerity, Maker help the man that wins your heart. He is going to need the patience of a saint, the stamina of a bronto and the wit of a court jester to keep up with you."

Willa laughed. "That's a tall order to fill. Does such a man exist?"

"Yes, I believe he does."

"Oh, well then you will have to introduce me to him," Willa chuckled.

"You already know him. A blind man could see that you have eyes for only one man and he for you."

Willa felt color begin to rise in her cheeks, but before she could reply Teagan continued. "Nevaeh, mentioned that you wished to have dinner brought to your room," Teagan stated.

"Yes, I am tired and not very social at the moment," Willa explained.

"After everything that you have recently been through that is understandable. I hear a Warden's appetite is extraordinary. I have asked the kitchen to send up a tray of food to feed a small army, a bottle of wine and two glasses," Teagan replied.

Willa raised an eyebrow, "Two glasses?"

Teagan gave her a knowing smile. "Yes, as it turns out Anders also requested to have dinner in his room."

Willa felt the heat on her cheeks rise, but she looked directly into the Banns eyes when she replied. "Thank you, Teagan. That was very thoughtful of you. Anders and I do have some matters to catch up on."

"Of course, my Lady," Teagan said with a grin then he bowed before leaving.

Before she got into the tub she added a few drops of Jasmine infused oil into the water. Then she eased in, sliding down into the water so that it covered her up to her neck. Willa took her time in the bath, relaxing and letting the hot water soak into her sore bones as the scent of home inundated her senses; the fragrance calming and comforting her. She wasn't sure how long she had soaked for, but when her fingers began to wrinkle she decided it was time to get out. She quickly got dressed into her last clean pair of linen pants and a form fitting tunic. She had light the last candle when a light knock came at her door. She opened the door and smiled at Anders.

He grinned that lopsided grin at her. "I got your note. I'm sure the maid thought you were crazy since I'm just across the hall from you."

"She wouldn't be the first to think I was as mad as a marched hare," she said as she stood to the side to let him in.

"I'm quite fond of mad girls and bunnies are so cuddly," he said as he pulled her into his arms. He kissed the side of her neck and she felt his breath as inhaled her scent. "Y-you smell wonderful...You smell like Highever."

"Isolde had some of my mother's soaps and she gave them to me."

"That was very kind of her," he said as he pulled away and for the first time looked around the room. He saw that there was a fire, that the room was lit by the dozens of candles she had brought in and their dinner had been elegantly arranged on a nearby table.

"What is all this?"

"I wanted to relax and spend the evening with you," she replied.

He grinned down at her. "You didn't have to go to all the trouble, Wills. When it comes to you I'm a sure thing. Just ask and I'll be there."

"We have been away from each other for nine months and this is our first night together in a proper room. I wanted to make it memorable," she said as she took him by the hand and led him over to the side of the bed.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Exactly what kind of memories were you hoping to make?"

"The good kind," she purred as her fingers nimbly undid the latches on his robe.

Anders grabbed her hand in his. "Wills..."

"Its okay Anders, I just want to remind you that not all touches are bad. That some are very pleasant without being sexual and that I will never touch you in a way that would bring you harm," she said as her hand gently pushed his robe to the floor.

"I know that," Anders replied slightly defensively.

She tenderly caressed his chest through his shirt. "You know that here," she said as she ran her finger over his heart.

"But you need to know that here," she said as her fingers gently stroked his forehead. "This is where the battle for you is, Anders. Now, please get completely undressed and slide under the sheet on my bed."

For a long moment Anders didn't move, he just started at the bed and then back at her. "Anders, do you trust me?"

He nodded.

"Do you believe that I would ever do anything to hurt you?"

He shook his head.

"Do you believe that I would ever do anything that you wouldn't want me to do?"

Again he shook his head.

"And do you believe if you asked me to stop that I would?"

A slight grin played at the corners of his mouth as he nodded. "Do we need a safe word?"

She gave him a smirk. "If you would feel more comfortable that way then by all means."

"How about fluffy kittens?" He asked as he removed the rest of his clothes, slid between the sheets and laid face down.

"Fluffy kittens? That is what you want for a safe word?" Willa chuckled as she settled on her knees just above his head.

"Well, there should never really be a reason I would yell that out during sex so its a good one," Anders replied.

"Okay fluffy kittens it is," she said as she poured some oil into her hands then rubbed them together to warm them. "Now, I want you to just relax and enjoy."

Gently, she started to glide her hands in smooth strokes over Anders neck and shoulders, and down and up his arms. At first she felt him tense under her touch, but as her hands rhythmically stroked his skin she felt him relax to the pressure of her hands. She leaned over him as her hands stroked down his back and then back up his sides. She was so tempted to kiss his back, but she had promised that this wouldn't be sexual. This was about reestablishing Anders' trust in her.

She moved to his side, added more oil to her hands and pulled back the blanket covering his leg. Starting at his ankle, Willa used her thumb and forefinger to apply pressure on both side of his tendon as she slowly worked her way up his leg. She tenderly stroked the muscles on his leg, allowing her hands to lightly skim the inner part of his thigh, involuntarily he flinched and Willa was about to curse herself when she heard the slightest moan escape his lips. She smiled as she moved to the other side and repeated the motions.

Willa gently rolled him over and repositioned herself above his head. She began by entwining her fingers into his hair, rubbing his scalp before she stroked the back his neck and shoulders. She moved back up to his face to trace the folds of his ears. She knew this was an area that when touched, licked or sucked was a huge turn on for him and she relished the shutter it invoked in him.

She slide her hands down to his shoulders, with her finger and thumb, she gently pressed down on the indentations below the collarbone and he gave another slight moan. She moved to his upper chest, with long, fluid strokes she moved from the center of his chest over his nipples and back again. He tensed the first time her hand caressed his nipples, but as she continued to rub and massage him, he relaxed once again. She moved to his side as worked on his arms and as she moved down to rub his legs and calves. She couldn't help but notice his full erection and smiled. She glanced up, but his eyes were closed, completely lost in the sensations she was giving him.

When she was done she sat back on her heels, as she watched the slow rise and fall of his chest. Had he fallen asleep? She glanced down at his groin. He was still hard. Could a man fall asleep with a hard on?

"How is it that a Teryn's daughter knows the nine erogenous zones of a man, let alone knows how to massage them to the point of exquisite pleasure?" Anders asked, his eyes still closed.

"Exquisite pleasure, huh?"

"You're avoiding the question, Willa."

"I read a lot," she purred.

"I don't recall seeing those books in your father's library."

She grinned at him. "You just didn't know where to look."

Anders arms encircled her, pulling her down to him. "Well, your book seemed to have left out the most important erogenous zones."

"No, it didn't, but I told you this wasn't sexual..."

"Sweetheart, that was one of the most sensual and sexual massage I've ever received."

"I wasn't trying to make it that way."

"I know that's what made it even more erotic," Anders sighed as his fingers gently caressed the nape of her neck as he pulled her mouth to his. Maker, how she loved the feel of his lips molding around hers, the taste of him as his tongue parted her mouth, slipping inside for a leisurely dance. Everything about him intoxicated her...it always had. She drank from him, consuming him, taking what he was willing to offer, trying desperately not to push him for more despite her growing need for him.

Before she pushed him too far she pulled back and looked into his eyes. They were as dark with desire as she knew hers were. "Anders, we should stop," she panted.

"No, I don't want too...Its okay, I'm okay. I've been away from you for so long. I need you, Willa, I want to take comfort in you and lose myself in you once again," he groaned as he pressed his lips against the column of her throat.

She twined her fingers in his hair, as she sighed, "Are you sure? I don't want there to be any regrets between us. I want our first time together to be perfect and if what happened in the..."

Anders head shot back as he looked at her with shock. "First time?"

"Yes."

"But we agreed..."

"We agreed that as a noble I should save my virginity for the man that I marry, but Anders I'm no longer a noble and as a Warden I don't know if I'll ever get married. However, I do know that I want my first time to be with you. I always have."

Anders fell back on the bed, his eyes glazed with desire and shock. "Wills...I wasn't expecting this..."

Willa felt her heart constrict with the pain of rejection. Didn't he still want her? His body still responded to her as it always had. Tears stung her eyes, but she fought to keep them from falling. He looked over at her and from the look on her face he must have realized what she was thinking. He cupped her face, dragging her down to him. "Willa, its not that I don't want you. It was very evident a few minutes ago just how much I want you...I'm just in shock. I have fantasized about being with you for so long, but I never considered it a real possibility. I just need a moment to wrap my head around this."

She grinned wickedly at him. "What's the matter Anders? Afraid to take my virginity? Surely a playboy mage such as yourself has taken many fair maidens virtue."

"Yes, but you're the only one I've ever been in love with."

She smiled tenderly at him, kissed him then slid off the bed. "Well, why don't we have a nice dinner by the fire while you come to terms with the fact that I want you to make love to me until I am completely sated and satisfied."

Anders chuckled as he slipped on his pants. "Thanks for not adding any pressure."

"Whether good or bad, a girl always remembers her first time. Just like death there are no do overs," she teased.

"Not helping, Willa," Anders groaned as he joined her at the table.

She handed him a glass of wine. "Here this is for you, maybe this will help with that performance anxiety of yours."

Anders cupped his head in his hands and groaned.

* * *

**A/N - Spanish lesson for the day. Joder - fuck, Dulzura - sweet thing.**

***I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. Please continue to give me your opinions. **


	15. Chapter 15 All My Life

**Chapter 14 - All My Life**

"I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you

And I will never find another lover more precious than you, more precious than you

You are the only, one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life I've prayed for someone like you and I thank God I that I finally found you

All my life I've prayed for someone like you and I hope that you feel the same way too

You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow.

You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down,

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you, and I thank God that I, that I finally found you

All my life I've prayed for someone like you, yes, I pray that you do love me too

All my life I've prayed for someone like you and I thank God that I, that I finally found you

All my life I've prayed for someone like you, yes, I pray that you do love me too "

_All My Life by K-Ci & JoJo_

When Willa had pulled back from him, stating that they should stop, Anders eyes roamed over her face. He gazed at her swollen lips, flushed cheeks, eyes half lidded with desire; he had never wanted her more and stopping was the furthest thing from his mind. All thoughts of Roanoke and what she had done were far from his mind. There was only Willa, there had always only been Willa and now more than anything, he wanted to see her once again stretched out before him, eyes blazing with want, her body quivering against him with need. He was ready, Maker only knew, how ready he was to explore her once again, taste her and have the essence of her on his lips, but she had frozen him in place when she said "their first time".

How many times has he lain awake thinking about her, fantasizing about being the one to take that most precious part of her. He knew how silky smooth she was and he had dreamed about how exquisite it would be slid into her, to have her warmth envelope him. He had many sleepless nights picturing this moment, but he never even once considered the possibility that those fantasies would ever become a reality and now that his dream was about to come true his body decided to fail him.

"Our first time." Those three little words had shocked the Void out of him and had literally drained every ounce of blood out his cock. This had never happened to him before...ever! He knew that he was just stunned by her unexpected announcement and that given a little time he would be fine. He hoped! He really, really hoped!

He looked over at her as she reached across the table for a piece of bread, the soft, supple swells of her breasts pushed over the loose laces of her tunic, taunting him, teasing him, reminding him of how they felt in his hand, the feel of her nipples against his lips and once again the blood drained from his head, leaving him feeling dizzy as it raced for his groin, and he couldn't stop the smile from sliding across his face.

She cocked an eyebrow, "What are you thinking about that has you smiling like the butcher's dog?"

Anders continued to grin as he eyed the strawberries and cream on the table. "Do you remember that night in your kitchen in Highever when we were eating strawberries?"

She now grinned back at him as she nodded.

"You were such a damn tease that night."

"I was not. I was just eating strawberries."

Anders gave her a crooked smile. "Sweetheart, watching you eat strawberries could be considered a form of torture. You were so alluring, so erotic."

Her eyes danced as she gave him a coy smile. "And you were thinking about that night just now?"

"Sort of, that night I wanted you. It took every ounce of self control not to throw up on that ladder table to have my way with you, but no matter how badly I ached for you that night it doesn't even compare to how much I want you right now."

"How badly do you want me?"

"Desperately! I need to taste your lips, need to feel your breasts in my hands, ache to caress your nipples with my tongue," he growled trying to control his growing desire for her. This was her first time and needed to be gentle with her, but Maker only knew how he was going to do that when all he wanted to do was ravish her.

Her eyes darken with heated hunger, she leaned further across the table, exposing even more of herself to him as she purred, "Is that all you want?"

Anders stood, pulled her out of her chair and into his arms. The feel of her breasts pressed against his chest caused his thoughts to scatter for a moment, but he quickly gathered himself, leaned in and whispered in her ear, "That's only the beginning of what I want, Love. I want to kiss those luscious lips of yours until your knees go weak, I want to explore every inch of your body with my mouth until I have you quivering beneath me with hunger for me, I want to taste you so thoroughly that I will have your essence forever engraved on my palate and I want to fill you so completely that they will hear you chanting my name in Denerim."

Her cheeks were flushed that lovely color of red that he so loved on her, but her eyes looked at him with such a feral hunger that his breath literally hitched in his throat. She leaned into him, burying her head against his neck, her lips pressed against his throat as her tongue swirled and licked a path up to his ear. She gently bit her earlobe as she whispered, "Take me, Anders, I'm yours. I've always been yours."

"Wills..." Anders groaned as he tried to gain control of himself. "I want to be a gentleman, I want to be the kind of man you deserve, but if you keep talking like that I can't promise that I can remain in control."

"Anders, _you _have always been the man that I deserve. It's you that I want, it's you I've always wanted even before I ever meet you. I don't want you to be a gentleman. I want you to take me, make my knees go weak, make me quiver, make me scream your name, make me cum, Anders."

"Willa," Anders growled as he swept down, his lips claiming hers, his tongue tenderly stroked her bottom lip until they parted with a sigh, granting him access to her mouth once again. Willa slipped her fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss, the sweetest half moan, half purr slipped from the back of her throat and he felt a surge of lust between his legs.

Anders' mouth broke from hers as he backed her up against the bed. His lips and tongue kissed and licked their way down her neck. The sound of her erratic breathing, the way her body reacted to his touch, excited and thrilled him beyond control. His fingers trembled slightly as he tugged at the bottom of her tunic, pulling it over her head before he agilely removed her breast band. He smiled at the perfection that were her breasts. Her fingers played at the hem of his shirt, and then she yanked it over his head letting fall to the floor.

He leaned her back on the bed, his fingers nimbly undoing the laces on her pants, before pulling them and her panties off at the same time. His breath hitched in throat as his eyes roamed over her delicious body and he drank her in like a man that had just crossed a desert and found an oasis. That is what she was. In world that was cold and cruel she was his paradise. "You are breathtaking, Willa," Anders sighed, his voice dripping with desire.

Anders quickly removed the rest of his clothes then stretched out beside her. Willa's hand tenderly caressed his chest as her eyes locked on his. "You're so beautiful. At times you take my breath away."

"That's my line," he said with a smile as his fingers caressed her delicate shoulders down to the valley between her breasts before he leaned down to follow the same path with his mouth. He dragged his mouth over her soft, sensitive skin, intermittently licking and nipping at her flesh. His lips covered the tip of her breast, tenderly drawing it into his mouth before he sucked in strong, rhythmic motions that made her cry out his name.

"Wills, I love your breasts," Anders groaned as he lightly dragged his teeth across them. "They are so taut, so firm…" he sucked hard at the rigid peak and she moaned his name again as her hips pushed against his thigh. "…yet so soft…so supple."

His tongue lashed at the tender tip with slow, deliberate licks, his mouth drawing on her with erotic intent. His fingers found her other breast and he gently pinched at the peaked orb. He felt deeply satisfied as her body shuddered against his and she moaned with pleasure. His lips sucked as his tongue flicked across her nipples, and Willa arched her back, her shallow, urgent breathes driving him on.

He nipped, she gasped, he bit, she moaned so he continued to lovingly torment her until she cried out his name again. Maker, how he loves to hear his name on her lips. It was erotic, yet romantic, spicy, but sweet and he wanted to spend the rest of his life listening to her say his name.

He kissed a path down her stomach; gently he opening her thighs as he feathered tender kisses down one leg and back up the other. His mouth lingered endlessly at the union of her parted legs; inhaling her sweet, musky scent. He looked up at her beautiful face to see that she flushed with anticipation, her breath uneven as she waited for him.

"You're simply amazing, Wills" he whispered reverently, as he ran his fingers along the cleft opening of her folds, her curls glisten from her desire. Then he dipped his head down to slowly traced her velvet contours with his tongue before he ran a long lick from the taut bundle of nerves to her core and back.

His body trembled as he savored her once again, her sweet essences washing over his tongue and lips. He had believed that this was lost to him forever, believed that he would never see her like this again until he joined her in the Fade. Still he had dreamed of this and now the very taste of her intoxicated him, making him drunk with joy, gratitude and pleasure.

Willa moaned as her hips rocked against his mouth with each long stroke of his tongue. Her fingers delved into his hair, holding him to her as she bucked her hips against his mouth. He wrapped his arms around each thigh which allowed him to control her and gave him better access to her moist center. Slowly, his tongue brushed lightly across the tiny swollen pearl, her legs trembled against him, he blew on the taut nub before he tapped it with the tip of his tongue, she moaned out his name as his lips closed over the orb and it was like a chorus of angels singing in his ears. She tried to buck against him, but his arms held her in place.

"Oh Willa…"he licked a nice long stride up and down her sex. "You taste divine."

He sent a gentle electric pulse through her core, she moaned with pleasure and he did it again. He tenderly slid two fingers slowly inside her hot center. Maker, she was so incredible tight!

Another electric pulse is released from his fingertips, as he slid in deeper, she moaned and writhed against his tongue as he sucked and teased her, she was completely lost in the throes of ecstasy and she never looked or sounded more beautiful.

He heard her breath hitch in her throat as she arched her back; her entire body went rigid as the powerful release rushed through her, forcing a loud cry to fall from her lips as her taut walls rhythmically convulsed around his fingers and the sound of her pleasure nearly had him cumming with her. Panting, her head fell back against the bed as she slowly came back to him.

Anders prowled up her body kissing and nibbling at her as he went until he was level with her again. He kissed her passionately, the taste of her still evident on his lips. His tongue plundered her mouth so exquisitely that she actually purred against his lips.

His need to be inside her with a fierce urgency. He pressed his lips against her sweet mouth, she tasted divine. The kiss deepened, hypnotizing him and sending shivers of helpless need through him. The feel of her warm body pressed against his, her hot, wet core pushed into his aching hard-on, caused his mind to spin out of control. He was sinking fast and he wanted to drown himself in her forever. He needed to be in her, needed to feel her around him.

He looked into her eyes, "Are you ready?"

She nodded.

Anders reached down between them, grabbed his erection and poised at her wet opening. "I will try to be as gentle as possible and to lessen the pain as much as I can," Anders said tenderly as he slid his tip inside. His body trembled with the need to surge forward, but he remained in control as he paused, with his hand still between them, he sent a light current of electricity through her body. She moaned as he slid further in and stopped when he felt resistance from the membrane that was still intact. He paused as he looked at her and drank in her need for him.

"Anders, please," she pleaded.

Anders sent a light freezing spell to numb the tissue, then he sent another current of electricity as he surged forward breaking the sheath. Her nails dug into his back, but she didn't cry out. He hesitated again as she adjusted to the invasion of her body and he relished in the sensation of her hot, tight, wet center wrapped around him. Then he sank fully into her, taking her virginity as he buried himself completely in her; his body trembled from the pleasure of finally being inside her.

He paused for a moment to ensure that she is okay. She gave him a brief nod and he began to move slowly in her, savoring the feel of her silky walls. She was exquisite and she fit him perfectly as if she was made for him. He slowly drew out and then gradually slid deeply back in; using all of his self control he did this over and over again, gently expanding the muscle that surrounded him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him in for a passionate kiss as her body began to move in time with his. Oh Maker, the friction her body was creating was quickly propelling him toward the point of no return.

He watched her as her body quivered against his as she called out his name over and over again. He slid his hand down between where they were joined and his fingers caressed and stroked her pearl until she cried out his name once more as her core spasmed around him, tightening and releasing rhythmically as she pulled him over the edge with her, into pure ecstasy and the sound of them coming together fills the room like sweet chamber music.

Anders shuttered, then collapsed limply on top of her, his shaking arms unable to support his weight as he buried his head against her neck. Inhaling her sweet scent mixed with sex and sweat. She smelled incredible. She held him tightly against her, her ragged breath matching his own.

"_I just had sex with Willa Cousland! Unfuckingbelievable! I just had sex with Wilhelmina Cousland!" Anders chanted to himself disbelievingly. _

Willa's fingers entwined in his hair. "Anders," she whispered softly.

"Hmmm," he moaned, too tired to speak, too blissfully happy to even move.

"That...you were incredible," she sighed against his throat.

He smiled as he kissed the side of her neck, "I'm glad I was able to make your first time enjoyable."

She giggled. "Enjoyable might be a bit of an understatement. That was fucking fantastic!"

Anders burst out laughing. "Language, my dear."

"Well, it was," Willa stated firmly.

Not wanting to move, not wanting to break the magical spell, he pulled part of the blanket over top of them. He slid out of her, but kept his leg entangled with hers as he rested his head beside her. He casually played with her hair as she drifted off to sleep. There wasn't anything he needed. All that he could ever want or need was sleeping beside him and for the first time in his life, he was completely happy, content and at peace.

Anders woke the following morning to the sounds of cheers coming from outside his window. Still in a haze of sleep, he reached for Willa only to find the bed empty. She always was an early riser, she must have gotten up to train. Another loud cheer from outside drew his attention. Still naked from the night before, he got out of bed, opened the shutters and looked down at the small crowd gathered around the ring as Willa and Alistair sparred against each other. Anders quickly washed up, got dressed and made his way down to the ring. As he approached the rail he could tell by Willa's lighthearted tone she was in an exceptionally good mood.

"Leliana must have kept you up late last night," Willa laughed as she rolled past Alistair came up behind him and delivered a blow to the back of his legs."

Grimacing with pain, Alistair stumbled forward. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you're fighting the way old people screwing," Willa chuckled.

"Nice and easy?" Alistair said hopefully as he spun to face her.

"No, slow and sloppy," she replied as she danced up to him, slid her blade underneath his and quickly disarmed him.

Zevran and Leliana burst out laughing.

"Slow and sloppy is better than getting nothing at all," the assassin chortled as he looked at Anders who had slid in beside him.

Zevran grinned at him. "I see you found your magical touch again."

Anders furrowed his eyebrows. "What makes you say that?"

"Our luscious Warden is in a very feisty mood and she definitely has an extra spring in her step this morning. Great sex can have that effect of people."

Anders couldn't argue with that statement, but he didn't want to confirm the assassin's suspicions either so he remained silent. Unfortunately, his silence didn't deter assassin in the least.

"So I take it my instructions were heeded and my personal massage techniques worked their own magic?" Zevran asked.

A sly grin played over Anders lips. "So it was you that she got the books from."

Zevran chuckled. "You are one cool customer, mi amigo magico. You need to give Alistair a few tips, but he does turn the prettiest shade of red when flustered."

"Alistair is boy learning to become a man. Give him time, he will grow into himself," Anders replied honestly.

"Will and him are very close. You don't view him as a threat?"

"They are the last two Wardens in Ferelden. Of course they are close, but as a threat no. I do have to wonder why you feel the need to try to stir up problems where there are none. Are you feeling threatened, Zevran?"

Zevran laughed. "I'm an assassin. I feel threatened all the time."

"Look, I am not some naive Chantry boy who is going to become flustered by some well placed insinuations. I know Willa and I'm secure in the relationship that I have with her. So you might want to save your breath for someone who might actually be affected by your connotations."

"I like you Anders. Traveling with you could be very interesting. Its a shame we won't be on this journey together much longer," Zevran stated nonchalantly.

"Breaking your vow to her already," Anders said.

"Never! I am a man of my word. I was referring to you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Anders affirmed.

"Really? I figured someone as astute as yourself would have realized that she cannot be traveling around Ferelden with a wanted apostate. She is already being hunted by Loghain and his army of misfits. She doesn't need to be hunted by the templars too. The odds of success are already stacked against her, but fighting the Chantry on top of everything else...well, it would be like signing her death warrant," Zevran said coolly.

Anders struggled not to let the shock show on his face. He had just been reunited with her and he had been so caught up in being with her once again that he hadn't even thought about the templars coming for him, but his mind was now whirling from the realization that he couldn't stay with her. The Circle had been in such shambles when he had left, but he knew once Greagior had established order he would send knights out to hunt for him. Damn it, the assassin was right, he couldn't stay with her. She was already up against so much, he couldn't add one more thing to her already impossible mission. Wynne was an excellent healer. Willa would be in good hands with her, but it was going to kill him to know what she was facing on a daily bases and not be there with her, fighting at her side, protecting her.

Before he could reply, Willa danced over to them, she nimbly leapt over the rail, and not giving a damn who was watching them throw her arms around him and passionately kissed him. Instinctively, his arms went around her waist drawing her to him, losing himself in her once again. How was he supposed to walk away from her again? The Maker was a cruel bastard! To bring them together once again only to rip them apart.

She pulled away and gazed up at him. Her eyes dancing with mischief. "Hi."

He grinned at her. "Hi yourself."

"I'm starving. Fighting always makes me hunger," she purred.

"Really? Cause I find that fighting always makes me horny," Zevran chortled.

"What doesn't make you horny?" Alistair asked as he walked up to them.

"Demons...they have never been a real turn on for me," Zevran replied.

Anders slid his arm around Willa's waist and led her back towards the castle. She leaned into him to whisper, "Actually, fighting makes me horny too."

Anders smirked at her. "I believe we can remedy that."

_**xxXxx**_

A week later they arrived in Denerim. Anders had enjoyed every moment he had spent with her. Even when they were killing bandits and darkspawn he cherished watching her graceful movements as she tactically took out her opponents. He committed every move to memory. At night, alone in her tent, they created different kinds of memories; ones that would last them a lifetime if necessary. He prayed it wouldn't be. He prayed that one day he would hold her in arms once again.

Now as they sat in a pub on the eve of his departure to Kirkwall a silent despair had fallen over the two of them and there wasn't anything her companions could do or say to pull them out of their grief.

"Anders, did you hear the one about the templar, the mage and the Chantry sister..."

"Yes, Zev, I believe that one has been around since the first old god was turned into an archdemon," Anders said curtly.

"Who pissed in your ale?"

Anders was about to give an angry retort when a man dressed in armor that glistened as though its been drenched in blood approached the table.

"Warden, you are the one that delivered the box to home near the Denerim Market today," the man stated.

Willa narrowed her eyes on the rogue standing before them. "Who's asking?"

"Friends of Red Jenny."

"And which friend are you?"

"You can call me Brock. Now tell me, where did you get that box?"

"In the Circle, just like your very kind note stated. Why do you want to know?" Willa replied.

"That box is a very valuable asset..."

"I knew we should have asked for more sovereigns for it," Zevran hissed in her ear.

"There are two more items located here in Denerim. We would pay you handsomely if you retrieved them for us," Brock said as he handed her the list.

Willa studied it then nodded. "If I come across these items I will contact you."

"Thank you. Friends of Red Jenny would be grateful." Brock then bowed then spun on his heels and left.

Anders grabbed her arm, "Why are involved with the Friends of Red Jenny?"

"Who are the Friends of Red Jenny?"

"They are Order mostly made up of apostates who raise demons then binds them to the mage's will so that the demons have to do the mage's bidding."

"Raising demons is never a good idea," Zevran stated.

"I wouldn't think binding them to yourself would top the chart of brilliant ideas either," Willa said dryly.

"How is that even possible?" Leliana asked.

"It's powerful, old blood magic. Willa, you need to stay as far away from them as possible," Anders demanded fear for her gripping him.

Willa glanced over the list of artifacts that the cult member had handed her. "So what do they want with these artifacts?"

Anders looked at the list. "I'm not sure. I wish I had seen the box before you turned it over to them. I might have had an idea then."

"A secret magical sec, long forgotten blood rituals and lost treasure...sounds like an intriguing way to spend the weekend, Dulzura," Zevran cooed.

"Willa, I agree with Anders. Blood mages are not to be taken lightly. Who knows what these apostates could be dabbling in," Alistair argued.

"You just made my argument for me, Alistair. We need to find out what these mages are up to before someone gets hurt," Willa replied.

"Willa, hunting down blood mages isn't a priority for us. Remember darkspawn, treaties, uniting a nation," Alistair replied.

Willa leaned back in her chair, sipped her ale as she thought over her options. "Alistair, you're right..."

"You won't hear that very often so enjoy it," Zevran chuckled.

Willa rolled her eyes at the assassin and continued. "Alistair, you're right. We need to continue with our main mission. So you, Leliana and Morrigan, can follow up on the leads for Brother Genitivi. Anders, Zev and I will look for these artifacts so that Anders can examine them and hopefully give us a clue as to what our cult friends are up to."

"Why can't I have Anders and you take Morrigan?" Alistair whined.

Willa shot him a dirty look. "Okay, yes I get it, love of your life, soulmate, blah, blah, blah, but Morrigan? Really? Can't I take Wynne?"

"Wynne is an excellent healer with basic defensive spells, but Morrigan is a battle mage with basic healing spells. If Loghain catches wind of what we are after he could come after you. You need a mage that will be an asset in battle."

"And what is Anders?" Alistair asked.

"You mean besides being devastatingly good looking and an incredible lover," Anders chuckled.

"Yes, besides that," Alistair grunted.

"Anders is well rounded with both healing and destructive spells."

"Well, aren't you the talented little mage," Zevran purred.

"You have no idea," Willa purred and Anders lips curved into a satisfactory grin at Zevran's wide eyed admiration.

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**A/N - Spanish lesson for the day - ****mi amigo magico - my magical friend, dulzura - sweet thing.**

***Thank you for your reviews, alerts and faves. You guys are the best!**

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	16. Chapter 16 Daylight

**I want to apologized for the delay in this chapter. Besides being extremely busy at work I had a serious case of writer's block and I was feeling a little burned out creatively. Since I had just written Hold Me I didn't want to write another story around DAO, but struggled with regards to how to move it forward. This chapter and the following one will wrap up the game up and bring our star crossed lovers back together. I am still not completely happy with this chapter, but I've held it up long enough. I hope that everything is back on track. Thank you for your patience and support.**

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**Chapter 16 - Daylight**

"Here I am staring at your perfection, in my arms, so beautiful

The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out, somebody slow it down

This is way too hard, cause I know when the sun comes up, I will leave

This is my last glance that will soon be memory

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own, but tonight I need to hold you so close"

_Daylight by Maroon 5_

Willa eased her way down the shadowed stairwell as quietly as possible, pausing at each landing as she listened for footsteps on the stone pavers below before proceeding further down into the bows of the estate. Willa knew that this estate belonged to a wealthy Bann from the Southron Hills who only used this estate when he visited Denerim for Landsmeets or for official meetings with the nobles. When he wasn't in Denerim he rented out the propriety. From their surveillance of the manor, its current resident looked like a small group of Tevintian magister. This little revelation had not sat well with Anders who claimed that all Tevintian magisters were well versed in blood magic.

The stairs led to a long corridor that ended at a large oak door that had numerous bolt locks on it. Willa unlatched them, the door swung open into dimly light garden. She had not expected the stairs to led into a wide open space, she had expected a dungeon or vault, but not a beautiful oasis.  
She glanced over her shoulder at Zevran and Anders who both had the same shocked look on their faces.

"Is this correct, Anders?" She whispered.

"Yes, I still sense a strong magical force in this direction."

Zevran shrugged his shoulders and encouraged her to continue forward. Willa crept along the wooden trellises that were covered in honeysuckle and wisteria as she made her way further into the garden, pausing occasionally to look for any sign of movement. At the far end of the garden, through an overgrown rose bush, a glimmer of a pale blue light caught her attention and she started toward it.

She felt a hand tighten around her arm and she looked back to see concern on Anders face. "Be careful, the deeper we move into the garden the more powerful the magic is."

She nodded as she quietly pressed forward, her exposed skin receiving scratches from the overgrown roses bushes and thistles. The courtyard led them into an even smaller yard. In the center, was the source of the glowing green light. It was a magical barrier that surrounded the box that Willa had given to the Friends of Red Jenny. Anders felt that the box held the answers to why the artifacts were so important. He needed to examine it first before they decided what their next move should be.

"Can you break the barrier?" Willa asked.

"Yes, but it's going to take a lot of lyrium," Anders replied.

Willa nodded as she rooted through her bag for the extra vials that she had brought. Over the next hour as Anders worked on breaking the spell while Willa and Zevran patrolled for guards. They were actually shocked and slightly disappointed that none were nearby. Anders surmised that it was because they had a lot of confidence in the barrier spell and from the looks of the mage's stained face it was easy to see why. However, he reassured them that he almost had it. An hour later he actually did bring down the magical structure. Anders picked up the gold inlaid box and examined the engravings on the on its sides. He lifted the lid and his eyes furrowed as studied the the lid.

"What is it?" Willa asked.

"There is some kind of spell written in ancient Tevintant. I need a book to translate it. Wonders of Thedas might have what I need," Anders said.

Willa nodded as she placed the box in her bag. They headed back out of the estate without having to pull her blades out once. Zevran who had been itching for a fight muttered something about pent up aggression was not a good thing for an assassin. Willa patted his shoulder and reassured him that there would be plenty of battles in their near future.

Early the next morning before Willa was even awake, Anders had slipped out of bed, went Wonders of Thedas and had returned. Willa woke to the sounds of rustling papers. She squinted as she looked over at Anders hunched over several books.

"Anders, the sun has barely come up. Come back to bed," Willa sighed.

"Love, the sun has been up for hours and I'm very close to finishing this translation," Anders stated.

Before she could reply there was a loud knock on the door. Anders grunted that it was open. Zevran waltzed in carrying a tray of breakfast sweets and a pot of tea.

"Mmmm, food," Willa purred as she crawled out of bed.

"Yes, mi cosa dulce, I know you well. Don't want you to start nibbling on Anders' thigh, now would we," Zevran chuckled.

"She did that last night," the mage replied dryly never even lifting his head up from his work.

The assassin laughed, "So your room was the source of all that moan, grunting and swearing. Were you doing something wrong, my pet?"

"Trust me, she did everything right...she actually out did herself. Hence, all the moan, grunting and swearing," Anders retorted.

"Good to know. I'll keep that in mind."

Anders ignored his comment as he slumped back in his chair as he sighed, "Holy shite."

"What?" Willa asked.

Anders ran his fingers through his hair as he stared at the translation. He grabbed the list of artifacts that the Friends of Red Jenny wanted. "I don't believe it. They couldn't be this stupid."

"What is it?" Willa demanded.

"They are going to try to bind the archdemon to themselve," Anders muttered in disbelief.

"Talk about your ball and chain," Willa said dryly.

"Not actually the family pet you want around the house," Zev chuckled.

"This isn't a joke, Wills. This is serious dark magic," Anders replied.

"I know, Anders and I am taking this whole thing seriously. So tell me what can we do about it."

"The artifacts are useless without the box. Destroy it and they can't perform a summoning spell," Anders replied.

"So how do we destroy it?" Willa asked.

"It needs to be destroyed by fire...very powerful fire, either with demon fire or dragon's breath," Anders replied.

"Oh is that all and here I thought this was going be hard," Zevran chortled.

Willa ran her hand through her hair. "Well, that's just lovely."

"On the brightside, my pet, we do have the box back in our possession."

"Thank the Maker, for small favors," Willa sighed as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for your help."

Anders smiled, "Anything for you, Wills. You know that."

"Well, it's a good thing we solved this little dilemma in time for Anders to catch his ship out of Denerim tonight," Zevran stated with a hint of pleasure.

Willa's gazed shifted to the floor, her mood suddenly taking a turn for the worse. Anders rested a reassuring hand on her knee as he spoke directly to the assassin, "Yes, its a good thing. Now, if you wouldn't mind leaving us I believe I would like some time alone to say our goodbyes."

Zevran stood. "Of course."

When they were alone, Anders pulled her out of her chair and into his lap. The moment that Willa had discovered Anders in that dungeon she knew this day would come. She knew he would have to leave her again; knew for his own well being he had to leave Ferelden, but that didn't make this any easier. Silently, tears ran down her cheeks. Anders cupped her face and caught every single one with his thumbs, whipping them away.

He nuzzled against her neck, breathing her in, his lips lovingly brush up the column of her throat to her ear. "I'll come back to you. Somehow, I will find away, but I'll always come back to you, Leanánn."

She pulled back and looked at him. "You promise?"

He smiled at her as he picked her up in his arms, carried her over to the bed and set her down. He laid beside her and gently brushed her hair away from her face, "I promise, but I need you to make me a promise too."

She nodded, "Anything."

"Stay alive. I know what you are doing is very dangerous, I know you have this need in you to right the wrongs that have been done and this noble honor to fight for what you believe in, but I need you to live, Wills, so that I can come back to you. Promise me."

She cupped his face as she pulled him to her, "I promise."

Anders claimed her lips as he rolled on top her and the little time that they had left, they spent worshipping each other with their bodies and their words. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms physically sated, but emotional unsatisfied.

Through the haze of sleep she felt him slide out from behind her. He quietly moved around the room packing before he knelt down beside the bed. He leaned over and kissed her lips. "You are perfect, Willa Cousland and one day, if you will let me, I want to make you my wife."

She smiled at him as she reached up and stroked his cheek. "One day, I'll let you, but you have to come back to me."

"Always," he whispered as he claimed her lips one last time passionately, penetrating deeply, taking her tongue and sucking it into his mouth. She moaned against him as she kissed him back, meeting each stroke of his tongue with her own, her fingers curled into his hair as she pressed against him, wanting to memorized everything about this moment. When he finally pulled back from her they were both breathless and panting.

He kissed her forehead, stood up and walked to the door. He looked back at her one last time before he once again walked out of her life.

_**xxXxx**_  
Anders had been in Kirkwall for nine months and he still was not use to the stench of the city, especially down in Darktown where he ran his free clinic with Trent. When Anders had arrived he immediately sought out the Mage Underground and was pleased to find that his young apprentice was still here. Together the two of them had carved out a nice life, but Anders knew this wasn't his home and that as soon as he could he would return to Ferelden, return to her.

There wasn't a day, an hour, a minute that went by that he didn't think about her, that he didn't long for her. She had agreed to be his wife and there wasn't a damn thing in this world that was going to stop him from being with her again. He just prayed that the Maker would keep her safe and he hung on every bit of news that managed to filter its way in from Ferelden. However, the little news that he did receive regarding the Blight wasn't necessarily good. There were a lot of refugees. Most of them told of increasing darkspawn attacks, of Blight sickness and of all the death. None of this reassured Anders that she was still alive.

Not receiving any word about her was depressing so he buried himself in his work. Today, he was closing a flesh wound on a young man who was carrying on a conversation with a woman from Ferelden that was being healed by Trent. He hadn't been really paying attention to what they were saying until he heard the woman say, "I would have been a goner for sure if it hadn't been for those two Wardens."

"Wardens?" The young man he was healing questioned. "I thought all the Wardens died at Ostagar."

"Not all of them. If it hadn't been for these two my entire family would have been slaughtered."

Anders whirled to face her. "Can you describe these Wardens?"

"Yes, one was an extremely handsome warrior. Reminded me a little of King Cailan, Maker rest his soul, and the other was a beautiful rogue who moved like a whip, but was as deadly as viper. Within minutes, the two of them along with their companions had killed over dozen darkspawn."

"The rogue, what did she look like?" Anders asked desperate for information.

"Long, dark red hair, the deepest green eyes I've ever seen and she was so kind. Once the darkspawn were dealt with she and her companions stayed and helped us fix our wagon."

Anders smiled, "How long ago was this?"

"About six weeks ago," the woman replied.

Anders breathed a sigh of relief. Six weeks ago she had been alive. It wasn't a lot of information, but it gave him hope.

A man sitting beside the young man he was working on said, "I heard that she found the Urn of the Sacred Ashes."

"Oh that's hearsay," the woman retorted.

"I don't know about that. The Arl of Redcliff was seriously ill and the only thing that could cure him was the Urn. Seven months ago, just before I boarded a ship for the Free Marches it was announced that the Arl had a miraculous recovery."

"_She did it! I'll be damned, but she found Andraste's ashes!"_Anders thought as a grin spread across his lips and pride for all that she had accomplished blossomed in his chest.

When they finished with their last patient Anders turned to Trent. "I believe that tonight we need to celebrate."

His apprentice grinned at him. "I had a feeling you were going to want to do that when you heard the news about Willa."

When they walked into the Hanged Man, Isabela and Varric waved them over to their table.

Anders slid in beside the pirate wench. "When did you get into port?"

"A week ago."

"Blonde, what has you smiling like a hooker that just got paid?"

"One of my patients today told me that they were saved by Willa six weeks ago so the next rounds on me!" Anders declared.

"That's great news," the dwarf replied.

Isabela snickered at him. "Well, if that news gave you a chubby then I guarantee what I have to tell you is going to absolutely make you cream your pants, my magical friend."

Anders raised an eyebrow as he noticed a tall man with dark hair whose back was turned from them edge closer to their table.

"I met your girl and your description didn't do her justice. She is absolutely delicious," Isabela purred.

Anders sat up in his seat. "You met Willa? When?"

"Three weeks ago in Denerim."

"And?"

"And I'll tell you as soon as you buy me a shot."

"Fine," Anders grunted as he waved over Nora and ordered a pitcher of and a shot of rum for the Isabela. "Now spill."

"First, I have to ask, does the carpet match the drapes?" Isabela cooed.

"W-what?" Anders stuttered.

"Well, she has all that gorgeous, dark mahogany red hair. I'm just wondering if its the same color below deck."

"I'm not even going to dignify that question with an answer," Anders retorted.

"Is that because you never ventured down below? I didn't take you for limiting yourself to just the objects above deck," the pirate chuckled.

"If you want that shot and ale, you need to start singing, little bird," Anders retorted.

"Fine, have it your way party pooper. I met your girl at the Pearl..."

Anders had just taken a sip of beer and started to choke. "W-willa was the Pearl?"

Isabela raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you don't know your girl as well as you think you do 'cause she seemed right at home with Zev at her side."

Jealous flared in his chest at the mention of the assassin's name and he couldn't help, but wonder if the elf had finally charmed his way into Willa's bed. "Zevran was with her?"

"Yes he was. He and I are old friends and when Willa showed an interest in learning dueling techniques he introduced us. I told her I would train her as favor to Zev and for a price."

"Please don't tell my you tried to convince her take a tour below your decks," Anders stated.

Isabela laughed. "Well as a matter fact I did, but she flatly turned me down. It would seem Willa is still hung up on a certain mage because neither Zev or that damn fine warrior she was with seem to hold her attention either."

"So what price did the little princess have to pay?" Varric asked.

Isabela smirked. "She had to beat me at Wicked Grace."

Both Anders and Varric burst out laughing.

"So there is someone who can beat you at that game," The dwarf chuckled.

"She is damn quick. Its very impressive," Isabela replied.

"So when you left what was going on with regards to the Blight?" Anders asked.

Isabela's face darkened as her eyebrows furrowed.

"What? What's wrong?" Anders demanded.

The pirate fidgeted in her seat obviously uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken.

"Tell me," he demanded again.

"The day we were leaving rumors began to circulate that the Warden had slaughtered the man who was responsible for the murder of her family. She had then been arrested and taken to Fort Drakon."

Anders felt all the blood drain from his face as his mind began to whirl with all the possibilities of what they could do to her in there. He felt the pirate's cool hand rest on his arm. "She will be fine, Anders. Both Zev and Alistair will make sure that she gets out of there."

The man who had been inching closer and closer to their table turned and in the light of the wall sconce Anders immediately recognized the rogue. Anders flew out of his chair, slamming the elder Howe against the wall as he grabbed at the collar of his jacket. "You...you son of bitch...I should kill you right here," Anders sneered at the man's whose father had killed the entire Cousland family except for Willa.

Isabela was instantly at his side, her hand resting on his shoulder, "Is everything alright, Anders?"

"It will be after I fry his ass with a few fireballs," Anders retorted angrily.

Nathaniel pushed the mage's arm away from his collar. "I didn't know anything about it. I was in the Free Marches."

"You expect me to believe that your father didn't let you in on his little plan to betray his best friend and murder an entire family."

"I don't give a nug's ass what you believe Anders, but I didn't know a damn thing about it until I received a letter from my father telling me that Bryce Cousland was a traitor to Ferelden and the Crown and that he got what he deserved," Nathaniel spat at him.

"Is that what your pig of a father told? That Bryce was a traitor and you believed him. And what about Willa? What if she hadn't escaped? Did she deserve to be raped and murdered by your father's men?"

The rogue flinched at his words. "They didn't...they wouldn't..."

"Oh, but they did. Willa told me the details of how as she fought her way out of the castle she discovered that they had raped and killed her sister-in-law, how they ruthlessly sliced her nephew's throat, how in every room she went into your father's men had raped and pillaged their way through the castle. Did those innocent people deserve that?"

Nathaniel's jaw stiffened. "I wasn't there and I'm not just going to take your word for it."

"What about Willa's word? Would you believe the word of the woman you claimed to love? The woman that you asked to marry you before you left for the Free Marches because it is her account that I just described to you not mine."

"How did you know..."

"It doesn't matter. What matters is your lack of faith in her. It's a good thing she turned you down. You don't deserve her," Anders hissed.

Nathaniel's eyes widened then darkened as all the pieces began to fit together. "It's because you! You were the reason for her sudden change of heart with regards to me and her. You destroyed what we had."

Anders released the rogue and stepped back from him. "You know her, you know the fierce loyalty she has. If you had truly ever had her heart in the first place there wouldn't have been a thing I could have done to sway her from your side."

Anger and pain flickered across the rogue's face, but before he could reply the door of the tavern swung open and a large burly man rushed in. "The Blight..." he panted as he tried to catch his breath "...it's over. The archdemon is dead! Slain by a Grey Warden!"

A loud cheer went up as the crowd, mostly refugees from Ferelden, celebrated.

Anders felt a flood of emotions. He was happy it was over, he could see her again, but then fear gripped him as he thought about what she would have faced in order to bring the monster down. He stepped forward and yelled across the tavern, "The Warden...does she live?"

"Yes," the man replied. "She is being hailed as the Hero of Ferelden."

Relief coursed through Anders as images of her flooded through his mind. She was alive! She had faced an archdemon and lived through it.

He heard Nathaniel sigh, "Thank the Maker."

Anders turned and glared at the rogue. "The Maker had nothing to do with her survival. That was entirely Willa's drive and determination."

Then without even a second glance at the man Anders turned away him and looked at Isabela. "Can you get me to Ferelden?"

* * *

**A/N - I know this was a short chapter, but it was an important one. **

***Thank you to everyone who has been reading and following this story. I appreciate your support.**


	17. Chapter 17 - Home

**Chapter 17 - Home**

"Hold on, to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm gonna make this place your home"

_Home by Phillip Phillips_

As Willa's horse rounded the top of the hill that overlooked Highland Castle she halted her horse and she stared down at the rubble and debris that had once been her home. The entire west wing of the castle had been demolished as well as most of the courtyard. The great hall and the kitchens still looked intact and the family quarters looked as if they had received little to no damage. Memories of that night flooded through her mind; the screams, the clanging of swords, the metallic smell of blood mixing with the charred odor of burning wood. It was so vivid, as if it had happened just yesterday. Her breath hitched in her throat as an ache in her chest blossomed causing her eyes to sting with tears.

She felt a tender hand rest on her arm and she looked over to see Alistair smiling warmly at her. "Its okay to now mourn for what you've lost, Willa. That's why we are here. So that you and Fergus can face and come to terms with this together."

She smiled lovingly at her fellow Warden who not only was one of her best friends, but a man that she had come to love like a brother. Alistair was no longer the insecure, self doubting Warden that she had met at Highever a little over a year ago. Despite his upbringing, the Theirin blood that ran in his veins was thicker than the damage that Eamon had caused and by the end of the Blight, Willa knew without a doubt that Alistair would have made a fine king. He would have been good for Ferelden, and its people, as the nation began to rebuild. Alistair, although begrudgingly, would have done his duty, but the man would have spent the rest of his days in misery. Willa couldn't condemn him to such a fate, she couldn't take him away from the only people that he considered family. So reluctantly she had allowed Anora to remain on the throne and Alistair to remain at her side with the Wardens. She just prayed that she didn't live to regret that decision.

"I know, Alistair and I know what I'm seeing now isn't what Fergus had faced when he had returned right after the celebration. It still infuriates me that Anora insisted that I stay to ensure the people that country was truly safe once again and it was safe to return to their homes," Willa muttered.

"Yes, my pet, I think the Ice Queen would still have you in Denerim if the orders coming from Weisshaupt naming you Commander of the Ferelden Wardens hadn't arrived. She was rather reluctant to you leaving. I think she had a crush on you," Zevran teased as he rode up beside them and looked down at the castle.

He let out a low whistle, "Talk about your fixer upper."

"Yes, it is, but it's still home," Willa said solemnly before she nudged her horse forward and raced down the hill.

She rode into the stables, dismounted, hitched her horse to a post and began to loosen the straps on her saddle just as a young boy ran into the barn. "Lady Cousland..." he panted. "We weren't expecting you until tomorrow. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to greet you."

She smiled at the stable hand. "It's fine and it's Warden Cousland..."

"Commander Cousland," Alistair corrected.

"Oh...yeah, I have to get use to that one...Ah-mmm, the point is no noble titles please," Willa instructed.

"Y-yes Commander," the young boy stuttered.

From at the other end of the barn a tall, shadow appeared in the open doorway. "Did I hear a rumor that my baby sister arrived a day early?" Fergus bellowed as he swiftly approached them.

Willa whirled around and raced into her brother's arms. Fergus grabbed and pulled her into a tight bear hug as he kissed the side of her cheek. "It's good to see you, Will. I know it's only been a month since I left Denerim, but…" his voice trailed off.

"I know, that is why I am here, brother."

Fergus squeezed her a little tighter before he released her. "I know it doesn't look like I've been doing much, but fortifying the west wing so that its stable enough to begin removing debris has been a long and tedious process. Yesterday was the first day that we were able to begin to go through the rubble."

Willa slipped her arm around Fergus' waist as she lead him back toward her travel companions. "Orlais wasn't built in a day. Its going to take time and I'm here to help until I have to report to Amaranthine," she stated.

"I know, Willa and I can't tell you how happy I am to have you here." Fergus paused as he stopped in front of her friends. "Alistair, its good to see you again," he said.

Alistair bowed. "Its good to see you too, your Grace."

Fergus waved him off. "Please, none of that. Its hard enough getting use to the servants calling me that let alone a friend."

Her brother turned to the Crow and smiled. "Aah, Zevran its good to see that you are still traveling with my sister. I need someone to keep Willa on her toes and to keep me up to date on the latest dirty jokes."

Zevran chuckled. "Well, I will do my best. Have you heard the one about the bar wench, chantry sister and the templar?"

Fergus grinned at the assassin. "No, but this sounds like a good one and one best told over a glass of brandy."

"It certainly is and the brandy will only make it better," Zevran chuckled as Fergus led them into the castle.

_**xxXxx**_

Alistair, Zevran and Willa had remained in Highever for three months helping clear the castle and start the rebuilding process. It had been a very emotional time for her and Fergus as they faced the ghosts that seemed to haunt them around every corner while coming to terms with the guilt and learning to live with the what ifs. The siblings had relied on each other for support and when it became to great for one of them, the other would lean down and them back up. If they both stumbled, which happened on more then one occasion, Alistair and Zevran were there helping pick them, dust them off and set them back on the path. She honestly didn't know if she could have made it through these months without her friends.

Today was their last day at the castle. Tonight was the Harvest Festival and then in the morning they would head to Amaranthine to begin the rebuilding of the Ferelden Wardens. The four of them had spent most of their morning working their way through the debris that led into the their father's study. If any anything remained of their father's papers, journals and ledgers they would find them in there. Willa sat in front of a pile of belongings sifting through what should be saved and what could be tossed out, when she saw the glint of a pommel. "Oooo, I forgot all about this."

The other three looked up from their piles just as she pulled the sword out. She swung it back and forth a few times testing its balance and a grin spread across her face as she turned to Fergus. "Remember this?"

Fergus' eyes narrowed as he studied the weapon. A broad grin spread across his lips and he began to laugh. Damn! It was good to hear her brother's boisterous laugh once again. "I do believe that is the sword that you won in the tournament that Nate and I planned on entering you in."

"Why do I get the feeling that there's a story there," Zevran purred.

Fergus grinned at the assassin. "Because there is. Now, first you have to understand that since Willa was old enough to hold a sword in her hand that she was a natural and she easily excelled in her training..."

"A fact you were always reluctant to acknowledge," Willa interrupted.

"Acknowledge it? If I had given you even the simplest compliment you would have been impossible to live with," Fergus retorted, but gave her a teasing wink before continuing. "By the time she was fifteen she was better than one her age and most of the boys older than her. So Nate and I..."

"Who is Nate?" Zevran asked.

Fergus' eyes flickered slightly with anger before he replied. "Nathaniel Howe..."

"As in the Howe that killed your family? The Howe that Willa killed? That Howe?" Zevran asked.

A dead silence fell over the room as the four of them looked around at the destruction that had been caused by the Rendon Howe's army. Willa cleared her throat. "Yes, Nathaniel was Rendon's oldest son. He was in the Free Marches at the time of the attack. I still believe that he knew nothing..."

"Willa, you don't know that!" Fergus exclaimed angrily.

Her brother had every right to be angry. He had lost so much more than she had, but his anger needed to be properly placed. "Yes, I do and deep down so do you. Nate was your best friend, you loved him like a brother and he you. Despite his reluctancy to stand up to his father about going to the Free Marches he would have never stood by and allowed his father to butcher our family. That wasn't in his nature," Willa stated calmly, trying to reassure her brother about their friend.

Willa paused waiting for a reply from her brother when one didn't come she continued the story in an attempt to lighten the mood. "There was a yearly tournament held in Highever. Now the main tournament the age limit was eighteen, but they held a junior tournament for boys from the ages of fifteen to seventeen. So Fergus, who had seen me spare on a regular basis, made a bet with Nate that I could win the junior tournament."

"But I thought you said the tournament was for boys?" Alistair asked.

"It was, but the bet between the two boys was for three sovereigns...a lot of money even for the sons of nobles not mention the tournament boon which was five sovereigns, some jewels and this sword. I'm sure they thought I was going to share that with them too."

"They didn't know you too well then, dulzura," Zevran chuckled.

"No we didn't," Fergus added. His anger had dissipated, a smirk returning to his lips as he quickly resumed his tale. "As Alistair pointed out the tournament was only for boys. At the time, Willa was still relatively flat chested..."

"Thank the Maker that changed," Zevran chuckled.

Fergus grinned at the assassin as he continued. "So we weren't worried about breasts giving her away, but she had this mane of long, red hair that was a sure giveaway that she wasn't a boy. To get around this one day we caught her heading from the stables to the sparring ring. Nate tackled her to the ground then I grabbed ahold of her braid and cut it clean off..."Fergus paused as he began to laugh and he tried to catch his breath.

"N-now, I've never faced an Archdemon, but I have a feeling that its similar to what Nate and I faced when we let Willa get up..." The imagery was too much for Alistair and Zev who had been on the tower with her and both of them burst out laughing.

"Oh M-maker...how is it that both you are were even alive to enter her in the tournament?" Alistair asked through bouts of laughter.

Fergus grinned. "Well, she maybe a spitfire, but back then she didn't have Warden stamina. Nate and I were able to run faster and longer than she could. When she finally collapsed, gasping for breath we explained why we had cut her hair. Willa sat up, looked Nate and I directly in the eyes and said, 'Is that what all this fuss is about? Sorry to disappoint you boys, but I've already signed up for the tournament. You might want to place your bets on Eli Tuner.'

She stood up, ran her fingers through her now short hair and grinned at them. 'Thanks for the trim boys.' She tossed each of us a silver coin then she spun on her heels and headed back to the sparring ring."

Alistair and Zevran once again broke out laughing, but Fergus just grinned at her. "She shocked the hell out of me that day. I knew she was no longer my kid sister and I knew from that moment on never to underestimate her."

"That's a lesson if not learned early will cost you dearly," Zevran replied grinning at Willa. "There is a wake of corpse of those who were too stupid, too stubborn or foolish to learn that lesson."

Willa shook her head as she stood up and dusted herself off. "On that happy note I believe I will get ready for the festival tonight."

* * *

**A/N - I want to apologize for the very long delay in this story. I've had some personal losses that I've been dealing with. It has taken awhile for me to be emotionally and mentally ready to write again. Thank to everyone that has followed this story. I hope that you will continue to read it and share your thoughts with me. I will try to post at least once a week.**

*I am without a beta at the moment so all typos and grammar errors are strictly my fault and I ask mercy.  



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